Narcissistic Parents: How they Made You Invisible to Yourself

HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[Peaces-ogvc]

I was the invisible child in my family. And now I'm the invisible adult. My family dynamic is so toxic and triggering, I just avoid everyone - family, friends, people in general.

[jessicaabbott]

I went from being the scapegoated child to being the invisible adult.

It’s funny because as a child, my dream was to be invisible. I had a fear of being seen and heard. I’m STILL afraid of being seen and heard.

I never considered the concept of becoming invisible to my own self, which is exactly what happened.

[morestore]

The problem with boundaries, is the problem with bullies. You can set the boundaries, they just don't respect them....so we become "invisible" to attempt to avoid the nasty and mean people. They still seek us out. Nothing a bully likes better than someone who just wants to live their life quietly. Invisibility is an attempt at self protection. Bullies will literally come through your door just to get to you.

[vivdoolan]

I have been psychologically erased by both parents and when I reached out to my brother and sister for help as I was going through the worst experience of my life with the gaslighting narcissism, they ignored me too. The erasure is complete. I am now completely no contact with all of them because if they want to psychologically erase me, I'll finish the job by removing myself physically too. The therapy I started revealed I have been gaslit all my life and I was never allowed to have my own thoughts and feelings.

[Help_im_sad]

I'm currently enmeshed. Rent is high (in all 50 states) Wage is low, and a migrant crisis took out my NYC Uber Eats opportunities that have kept me afloat. When I finish my technical education, I probably will go no contact. They'll smear me, they'll keep comparing me to my cousins who grew up in the same house for most of their childhood, while my parents divorced before i was 8 and i lived in 13 different places in my childhood, nothing I could ever do will satisfy these boomers.. sadly narcissistic personality disorder seems to thrive in boomers(not all but a majority), they RELISH in my suffering when I cant pay $2, 275 for a 1 bedroom at $20 per hour. Duh. 2+2=4, but to these narcissistic people... 2+2=22 😭 and yet I now depend on them for help or I'll be homeless.. again..

[meloneymoore]

I also was the invisible child and spent most of my adult life like that until I recently broke out of it at the age of 45 when I went no contact from my narcissistic family and former workplace. I have put in a lot of time healing myself, tending to self care for myself and validating my voice and childhood trauma

[lizwilliamson]

I started to become visible to myself when I recognised my inner child. She needs help and I started to parent her myself with patience, kindness and compassion. The grown up me provides for her.

[etfwzcn]

There is very little information about this topic out there. You are an amazing teacher.

[ericb]

I was so invisible that I thought no one could recognize my face as I grew up. Like my face was a blank with no features. Has anyone else experienced this? This went on into my adulthood.

[sockpuppet]

Assertiveness doesn’t work until you realize/know/BELIEVE
“I am worthy and deserving of what I am asking.”
It’s all about recovering from your caregivers treating you with low regard, treating you as though you are worthless.
They were wrong, in a most destructive way.
Hey Jerry thank you for filling your videos with so much information.

[Amy.Munson]

I have been invisible in every group I have ever been in, just use me but I’m not liked . My childhood family, in my husbands family, with my husband himself and even with moms and kids groups. It seems to just be who I am. Invisible. I’m so use to it that it just is my reality and I don’t want to be seen or loved now.
Someone acknowledging me even with a hello is so uncomfortable

[yamlwoz]

So profound. So true. I wish I'd heard this 40 years ago. I was completely invisible to myself and others, and in so much emotional pain. I'd been ignored, neglected and abused throughout childhood and had just begun trying to raise my own 2 children with nothing inside me to give. It's all worked out well as I re-raised myself alongside them. They're 43 and 40 and at 65 I'm a new, fulfilled and loved person.

[stevenhoog]

I walk around here trying very hard to be quiet as a mouse.

[Baker-my]

Recently my dad asked me to take a few days to help him move a car across two states. He offered food and gas. He recently gave my brother and his wife’s son a new car.

I told him I would do it for 500 a day. If he can buy them cars he can compensate my time.

He raged. And told me that since my mother passed away last year I already got stuff from him from her estate because he bought everything she had. They were divorced for 40 years.

[sharonnugent]

My sister suffered the most at having to be invisible to survuve our parents narcissism.
I love you sister.

[gailnichols]

I chose to be invisible because my father was violent. Most every evening I would go to my room, play with my doll, and tremble when I heard my father in another room yelling and hitting. My sense of self is vastly improved since then, but I have worked on "self" for decades.

[Theresa-Lottodo]

I can be around children. They're honest and simply need empathy and loving guidance. I just can't handle most adults.

[cynthiawilson]

I think this is one of your best videos by far and yes it starts with childhood being invisible dodging bullets and we grow up with a lot of anxiety one thing I found out growing up you have to show up for yourself before you can show up for other people and you never have to get validation from no one this was pretty deep

[Goldenheart]

It all begins with self love and seeing your value and worth. It's extremely difficult for the family of origin to see you changing because they know they are losing control. It's actually uncomfortable to watch, but it's necessary.

These three stages of resistance are 💯 spot on. You will be tested repeatedly and learning to respond and not react when being baited lets you take your power back. Some family members won't be able to handle the change and walk away and that's ok. Others will begin to come out of the fog themselves and start finding their own value.

My heart goes out to anyone experiencing this because it's very difficult. The good thing is it does get better. Keep putting in the inner work and you will become stronger than you know. It doesn't matter if they approve of the new you. All that matters is that you do! Keep going and growing and watch your life completely transform for the better. 💛Excellent video as always Jerry👍