Relationship Expert: Why Women Are Adopting Masculine Traits & Men Are Becoming Feminine | John Gray

In this episode, relationship expert Dr. John Gray delves into the early signs of relationship breakdowns and offers practical strategies to reignite passion and connection. He explores how women can tap into their feminine energy and the impact of independence on relationships, addressing the question, "Why do I need a man?" Dr. Gray also breaks down the biological differences between men and women, shedding light on how they affect intimacy, communication, and sexual attraction. Tune in for biohacks that enhance hormonal balance, along with insights on how societal shifts like social media and dating apps influence modern relationships.

Episode Highlights:
00:00 - Episode trailer
02:34 - Lack of Sexual Attraction as a Warning Sign
04:01 - Understanding Women's Emotional Needs
05:44 - The Impact of Financial Independence on Relationships
08:16 - The Downward Spiral of Sexual Desire
12:07 - The Role of Social Media in Modern Dating
13:08 - Historical Context of Relationships and Commitment
15:04 - The Effects of Birth Control on Sexual Dynamics
18:02 - The Importance of Masculinity in Relationships
20:34 - The Challenge of Independent Women in Relationships
22:50 - The Economic Factors Affecting Relationships
24:15 - Biohacks for Women to Reconnect with Their Feminine Side
27:57 - Strategies for Men to Increase Testosterone
30:29 - The Importance of Distance in Relationships
32:29 - The Role of Prolactin in Sexual Interest
35:07 - Maintaining Sexual Potency Over Time
38:22 - Men's Emotional Expression and Mental Health
40:01 - The Impact of Childhood on Men's Emotional Well-being
42:30 - Success and Its Influence on Men's Testosterone Levels
43:54 - Understanding the Balance of Masculinity and Femininity
45:37 - Understanding Male Emotions
55:12 - The Role of Men in Initiating Sex
01:01:13 - Understanding Women's Needs in Relationships
01:05:05 -The Importance of Communication
01:10:06 - Single Women and Attracting the Right Partner
01:15:21 - Dating Strategies for Women

About my guest:
John Gray is a renowned relationship expert and author, best known for his groundbreaking book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which remains one of the most influential relationship guides of all time. His work has been translated into 45 languages and has helped millions of people worldwide better understand the dynamics between men and women. With over 20 books to his name, including his recent work Beyond Mars and Venus, Gray continues to offer valuable insights into fostering healthy relationships. He also advocates for natural approaches to mental and physical well-being, helping individuals lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

Connect with Dr John

Want to manage your life the same way that helped me make $1 million by 28 and travel the world at the same time?

Grab my FREE one-page Life By Design productivity planner below

Join the Dream Out Loud Facebook Community

Follow me on Instagram here

[successinsandiego]

John Gray is missing the point that most women eschewing men today grew up in homes either single mothers. They’ve always been doing life without a man. They saw what men did to their mothers, sisters, friends.
They know few, if any, other women who have not been assaulted and/or abandoned by men.

Stop blaming women for being uninterested in men- perhaps look at the devastating role men have played in the lives of most women in the past 60 years.

[wendyshoowaiching]

Modern times traditional values, morals, manners, loyalty to one partner and gentleman behaviours are no longer in men, women don't think there is quality marriage to start a family. Being single is better eliminating stress of having low quality marriage.

[ginamarie]

What John Gray is talking about is true on most things, I would agree psych has ruined relationships. It is hard to find a real man today that is described in the video. You can't get aroused from a cheap, narcissistic, stingy, disrespectful, talks to much, selfish, immature, etc. single males. They are not interested into anything a woman has to say or care about a woman's wellbeing. It doesn't take much to figure these folks out and no these weren't people I picked. It sucks to be a real woman these days!

[pamelagood]

Happy to be independent in this modern society. Learning that i need to become the love of my life, then all the rest is icing on the cake.

[VeraEcht-pjpj]

I always knew that the love of the right man would be the greatest treasure for me in life and most women that I know think the same way. We just learn to be independent because we are not receiving that love.

[PS-xbhc]

Our society has changed so much as an independent woman the struggle is very real. He is correct about trying to find a man these days seems impossible.

[Tatjana.B]

Today all roles from yesterday are changed. All men I've met expected and took money from me. They have often mommy issues, expect to be nursed like babies and with no responsibilities. It's not easy to find better man today. And I really need no man anymore, especially narcissists I've dealt in the past.

[abutterfly]

It’s simple but complicated, a lot of info to take in and remember.

One thing not mentioned is when you are dealing with a self centered person, which our society seems to breed more than ever.
You can try everything and some people just don’t want to put the work into having a great marriage especially if they are narcissistic or have unresolved childhood trauma that they are not interested in healing.
What you do not heal you bring into the relationship with your partner and in your parenting, so they are forced to suffer and will.

Heal your trauma before entering a relationship or have children and find someone who is doing the same, then you will be on the same page and have the best chance of having a healthy relationship with anyone you choose to bring into your life life.

It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship with somebody who is not healthy, believe me I’ve learned the hard way.

[wisdomandy]

I don't think people actually realize just how important the comment "if the woman isn't enjoying sex, you're not doing what you need to make her feel like a woman". If I look back at all my relationships, it was only ever enjoyable when I noticed that the woman was actively enjoying sex. Whenever that wasn't the case, nagging and general lack of respect or appreciation would get progressively worse.

[Mom_Luvs_Tech]

I’ve found that men with sedentary jobs are very emotional and dystegulated because the inactivity puts them so far on their feminine side.

[richb]

I've dealt with narcissistic women, women that lied, cheated, stole money, etc., etc. I don't hate women for MY OWN POOR CHOICES. So, don't hate men for women who have made poor choices. Most times (not all), childhhod trauma and attachment styles significantly contribute to these situations. Plenty of single dads raise children. Plenty of men are giving and loving providers. SO, LET"S STOP GENERALIZING and attempt to make better choices.

[IslaminHizmetcisi]

notes:

2:30
early signs that we need to look for of a relationship breaking down:

Lack of Sexual Attraction when the passion and attraction goes away. (when she is not enjoying it anymore... he does since not possible without erection).

3:15 women need to feel very much loved not that men don't but women need to
feel that:
they're priority
that they're seen
that they're heard
they're not ridiculed
they're not minimized
they're not neglected
they're not ignored

4:03
because when you demonstrate
caring
affection
consideration
understanding
empathy
taking on the side of someone
respecting their needs and wishes


when you when you do that it raises a hormone called estrogen in the body

it's a mindset when somebody treats you that way your estrogen levels go up
when you treat yourself that way also your estrogen levels go up

5:15 if a woman is hungry and a man feeds her her estrogen will go up

estrogen goes up whenever
you feel have a need and somebody's there for me
I can depend on them
they're reliable
they're a support for me and

when that estrogen is not being stimulated

women will not feel the desire to have sex

or enjoy sex

6:00 testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men
we need to make 10 to 20 times more in a relationship

when a man has good healthy testosterone nothing bothers him
the little problems here little problems there doesn't bother him

going to be evidenced by a good sexual relationship

6:30 sex Center in a man is twice as big (as a womans)
sexual arousal stimulates double his testosterone
we need more testosterone than women otherwise were depressed and anxious and upset

6:52 if a man is no longer attracted to and turned on to his wife she's not getting something
she really needs uh which is
attention
affection
warmth

i stop taking notes here because nearly everything he says is worth taking notes.... I'll only note the really noteworthy ones:

what prolactin does
11:23
is it builds up inside of you it it keeps you from wandering to other women


like two
25:34
magnets coming together and as they get closer the closer they come it's like electricity that happens that

you can have for a lifetime

if you you you can't have the free attraction which you get with the dopamine dopamine will always
25:47
go away in a marriage the free dopamine because the familiarity sets in you get to know each other routine sets in
25:55
there's no newness so that you don't get the free Sur of testosterone but with
26:00

communication skills and
mindset and
lifestyle changes

men can pump up their
26:06
testosterone women can pump up their estrogen they can communicate in ways that will do that that maintains the
26:12
polarity and I call those biohacks a hormonal biohacks which is what I stay
26:18
what I do what I eat what I time I go to sleep all these things will either
26:23
increase or decrease healthy hormone balance in a man or woman

anytime you do something
29:12
for a woman that she could do for herself you will produce estrogen
(making dinner for her)

you can treat her with such respect and such support in the
30:44
relationship uh where she could want to have sex every day practically

33:59 if you don't release what happens is you never
34:04
separate from the woman your energy stays together and that will keep her in the mood that keeps the sexual potency
34:10
there the attraction is sustained literally all the time so you could have sex every day in your in your 70s

omen's sexual potency and interest in sex has a lot to do with their estrogen when
34:24
you're when you don't release her estrogen doesn't crash it stays high


f you even if you H release if you go six days your potency will
34:40
build up enough so now you have the

the same kind of interest and attraction and
34:45
patience that you had when you f first fell in love because the dopamine and the beginning of the
34:51
relationship gives you that extra 50% dopamine


goes away you don't have that
34:56
50% and women will say to me oh why can't he be like he was in the beginning well he doesn't have that
35:02
50% and that's so powerful so you it's it's so if you have too much sex you


you're having sex with her
35:24
on Saturday night and she's not interested in sex on Tuesday and


you do it with yourself you just lost all your
35:30
potency and

your potency is what wakes up a woman's energy your interest your liveness your testosterone levels that
35:37
rise in her presence


see that's a whole thing you could be working out in the gym your testosterone's going out but
35:43
you're not having it go up in the presence of her

35:55
I've learned how to listen to women without inter erupting that's another fix that's an estrogen stimulator in a
36:01
woman get her to talk more most guys wanted to talk less now get her to talk more without rushing her to a point
36:07
don't interrupt her ask more questions oh tell me more about that what else

sometimes we feel guilty uh for not uh taking our space
38:08
men need a lot of space and that's another Dynamic for more sex for it's
38:14
distance they all saying distance makes the the what distance makes the heart grow stronger

37:15
and you can't have love grow unless you talk about whatever's going on inside men don't need to do that women need to
37:22
do that (90% of people who go to psychologists are women)

39:43
little boy up to 13 years old does need does need to express feelings just like
39:49
a little girl we don't have testosterone then we had the same level of testosterone as a little girl in our childhood

we know that in therapy that anything you're feeling now 90% of
40:08
it is your childhood

[sophiafisher]

I think marriage is a lovely idea and looks great in a romcom. But the reality is, it's an outdated concept that was always designed for the benefit of the man.
..He gets a free live-in cook, cleaner, sex toy, therapist, errands runner, and personal care giver for his children. Even a gardener if he's really lucky. What does she get out of this arrangement??? She gets to be the family servant that never gets a day off! Gets no thank yous, and can't even get a cup of tea when she's not feeling well. On the other hand, he gets a sniffle, and the world's coming to an end 😂

YAY FOR MARRIAGE 😆😆😆

No thanks

[MargaretGSmith-cq]

Mother Angelica warns our end is near when women turn masculine, men turn feminine, children disrespect parents, parents disrespect their children, neighbor strife to name a few. I’m starting to see a lot of this.

[Mindsetolympics]

This guy is the goat I can listen to him forever. He is underrated too for the younger gen.
23:10
28:15
38:40 BS men are talking too much about feelings.
23:53
50:00
1:10:15 single women, date men you aren’t turned on to

[BetterLoveMovement]

Dr. John Gray is SO UNDERRATED in our world, especially today. His books and his entire body of work speaks for itself. People need to be open to his work and try it and see how it works for them.💯

[carolinewilson]

This man is a treasure!! So much wisdom in one interview ❤

[firebird]

My last partner would wriggle out of any little help I ask of him. Either forget or double book or too tired or postpone or not even offer to help.

[seasons]

Thank you ❤ I always appreciate to listen to John Grey ! Id be happy if John will give his perspective & knowledge for many hours ! As long as it takes for him to do a full tour of the information he is willing to share. Maybe there can be a full many hours of recording & then short videos that can be listened to as a series . 😊

[User-qgv]

Dr Gray is a genius. He also mentions the technology's negative impact on the men vs pre internet era.