Love Expert Reveals the Secrets to a Successful Relationship | Spirit on Women of Impact

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On Today's Episode:

Host of Love Goals on the OWN Network and in possession of a PhD in General Psychology, the therapist known as Spirit combines gritty real-world experience with high-level academic thinking in her straight-forward, powerful advice. She not only gets to the point, she nails the most important point every time. And on this episode of Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu, Spirit takes on some of the most important questions that everyone who struggles with dating and relationships need answered. She explains why you have to see dating as an interview process, breaks down the difference between chemistry and compatibility, and details exactly how to focus on solutions instead of problems in your relationship.

SHOW NOTES:

Spirit breaks down the difference between chemistry and compatibility [1:45]
People often mistake the relationship’s chemistry changing for falling out of love [3:56]
Spirit explains how people end up feeling that they are incompatible [6:45]
When you are dating, that is the perfect time to go slow and really take stock [8:32]
Spirit talks about how someone can be a 10 at 2 AM but a 2 at 10 AM [11:34]
There are three sides: you, your partner and the relationship [14:38]
Spirit explains what to do instead of focusing on the problems [17:57]
There is science to relationships, and you can control intensity, duration and connection [19:48]
Relationship problems and habits are passed down through the generations [22:01]
Spirit explains how to deal with feelings, thoughts and behaviors [24:41]
If you can change the way you think and behave, everything else will fall in line [27:33]

FOLLOW LISA:

FOLLOW SPIRIT:

[sirena]

Being annoyed by little things like snoring isn’t what really annoys a person it’s after months or years of disrespect from that person that makes everything annoying about them.

[jessykapop]

Been with my husband almost 15 years and we both still act like the first time. I get butterflies and fuzzy feelings everyday for my hubby

[michellekalski]

Spirit is amazing. She explains things so well.

[superwaxx]

RELATIONSHIP PRO T!P: Research attachment theory and understanding attachment styles. This is a crucial part of understanding compatibility that often gets over looked.

[luckyrabbit]

I don’t know why everyone says “it’s such hard work “ I’ve never felt like my marriage takes work. He is my best friend. I wouldn’t talk or treat him differently than my closest friend or sibling. We have been through a lot in our 2 decades together: unemployment, illness, infertility, but the adversity made us stronger. Even when we finally had our daughter, we came together so well, never needed to even talk about feeding schedule, bottles or other things, I can’t explain it. It’s like we have the same heart and brain. I love him to bits.

[AverageGoddess]

There is some fire advice in here. I love the idea that there are THREE entities in any situation: me, him, and the relationship. Also the understanding that the PROBLEM is the problem, and how are we going to solve it as a team?

[euscieu]

I needed to hear this way earlier in my life. I would’ve avoided so much heartbreak and frustration trying to fix things that should’ve never been to begin with.

[girlynerds]

If 2 people join together with this type of understanding, the possibilities are endless! 🥰

[asherbrown]

💜 I love spirit, please have her on again would love to hear more, especially on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.😊

[Cocobod]

What an amazing conversation. I'm beginning to take a closer look at my relationship.

[tracicauchi]

This woman is a diamond in the rough!! Whoa! I’m so glad I stumbled upon her content on diff YouTube channels! She’s amazing! So true!

[adorhaal]

Im 49 yrs old and so naive on who i date .. i always get used, abused by a man .narc.. when i heard this i make sure that before i date a man i will need to know and test the guy .. thank u so much

[larasmith]

🦋marriage is hard work, but it’s important to remember marriage is the greatest gift from God

[foreignlovedreams]

In my experience and in my life, the following rules apply in relationships:
- Remain Two Individuals
- Work Together to Manage Finances
- Best Friends and Forever Lovers
A successful relationship is communication!

[honeybunnzs]

I just stumbled across these interviews and I LOVE THEM!

[ahlemlee]

the way you ask questions, oh my goodness, just wow,
thank you so much for this interview.

[absta]

Relationships are like garage sales, they look good from a distance but up close it’s just a tonne of shit you don’t need 🤣❤️💛💚

[douglashunt]

KNOWLEDGE BOMBS DROPPED IN HERE....WOW!!! THANK YOU!!!

[nadiajules]

Hi Spirit !! I Love how you explained the relationship process. Thanks. Love from St.Lucia.

[saralowe]

Girl looks like an equestrian and only about 25.... How can she have been married 18 years with the complexion of a teenager. She must have good genes and a good husband 😊