How Do People Actually Change?

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Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #peoplecanchange #lifeadvice

[ShenobiYT]

I remembered the night I changed my mind on social media. I used to mindlessly share memes (sh*tposting) everyday, but after having a casual deep conversation with a friend last year. I "learned" a lot why my friend doesn't share memes and little to no use of Facebook. I meditated after that day and really emotionally processed the idea of quitting sh*t posting, and during that time. I realized the negative effects that it was causing to my mental health. The actions were actually effortless after the changed mindset, and this experience really opened me up to the idea that people do really change.

[matera.]

a quote that has stuck with me for awhile: "in order to master a new way of being, you must master a new way of thinking"

[ecospider]

I was in 9th grade. Didn’t shower much. My jacket was always stinky. I saw a reflection in a window at a friend’s house and said. That’s not who I want to be. Instantly I wanted to be a different person. So it was not hard to shower better, care more about my clothes, and start weighing lifting.

The next year a girl asked me to one of the high school dances. 34 years later we are happily married.

[youmaybebusy]

Huh... I've learned something valuable from a YT-short.

[destroyerinazuma]

I've heard a bold opinion that letting go of misconceptions/bad info is more useful than learning new stuff. But smashing a stereotype or a false idea is also learning, in a way.

[carlogaytan]

Also: Knowing is NOT half the Battle.
We can know that Procrastinating is bad, this doesn't change our behavior. We need environmental changes and Habit building.

[mrs.quills]

This reminds me of the book atomic habits—small and consistent changes can make a huge difference when compounded over time.

[Intensive_Porpoises]

I think I have changed (learned) recently. I've had social anxiety for years, but recently I've been much more willing to feel anxious while approaching people. I remember seeing advice saying that you have to _want_ to feel anxious, and I couldn't imagine ever getting to the point of wanting it! All seemed hopeless.. until recently. I've been talking to trusted people about it more and more, and this has spilled over into telling my boss and getting his help. Asking for the help of a couple of other colleagues, and requesting that extended family help me out too. It feels like it's all kicking off. It's simultaneously terrifying and exciting. I also feel much better about myself too.

[Jhawk_k]

I'd argue there isn't a distinction between watching and action, one cannot exist without the other in change/learning

If I want to have an exercise routine, the only possible way to do that is to start working out. At first it will be more difficult because you haven't actually changed yet. Over time your thoughts do start to shift towards accepting this new reality of having a workout routine.

[kynahorten]

I still need to watch the original video for full context, but in general, I think I agree with this EXCEPT in the case of anxiety, avoidance, and behavioral activation. Basically, the fear response can overpower a person's sense of willpower. In my experience, even though I want to change my behavior, my anxiety is so strong that the feeling is intolerable and I turn to avoidance. Behavioral activation was hugely impactful for me because it tasked me to push through the discomfort in the interest of accomplishing something that I knew and believed to be in my own interest.
I really struggled with this at first, since I've always relied on bursts of momentum and rapid activity to recover from a slump. I was very much in the mindset of "I'll do it when I'm not so tired/sad/anxious/etc." but because my anxiety was so overwhelming, these moments of feeling up to the task were too infrequent.
BA helped me to break that cycle of anxiety and the reinforcement loop of "thing makes me anxious, I avoid thing, I feel less anxious." It really helped me to build confidence in myself because before then, I really felt like a lost cause and a waste of resources.
There's still an internal change somewhere in there, but for me, action precipitated a stronger sense of self and belief in my own abilities.

[SpookieChloe]

Learning something and actively making new connections in your brain is such a good feeling

[catsozen]

Dr K is really a treasure trove of practical wisdom. Appreciate all his work 🙏

[vietnamese_man]

Please link the original video so ppl actually get the important context

[Phil_]

To improve is to change.
- Winston Churchill

[nachocheeba]

Change = learning to behave/think/believe differently that we previously did

[sigismundfreund]

This is actually over simplified and only partly true. I know this is what Dr K often does because for most people it increases the chance for them doing something different. But in this case, if you want to change or learn from something then you need to look at what are the expectations for an outcome and on what outcome a person focuses its attention to. In Dr K's case every feedback, if different from the initial expectation, would lead to change or learning. The problem is if a person is inattentive to the feedback or falsely values parts of the feedback. The first scenario would be part of a problem of a depressive person and the latter for someone with an anxiety disorder.

[keneryaneshetu]

yes but burning your hand is a consequence that ultimately forces your brain to change, but in situations where there is no direct effect of your actions then it kind of takes more than to learn you need to be aware. like if you are a very awkward and a shy person the result has an indirect effect on you so your brain will just be lost in a puzzle. in this types of situations you need a heavy mindset shift to change

[MarylnBowan-vgte]

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Money is the Only and Best Thing that Reveals Ones Character

[xoticmbition]

Sometimes I feel like changing through doing stuff (gym, diet, overtime at work) just deteriorates my mental and physical health more. This must be why? Those things are not the answer

[Vowa_]

I needed this, I've done something horrible at my class well, its summer now, when school returns I'll be ready to accept the consequences and move on from this I'll change after this i know i will