7 Signs of an Emotional Affair

Emotional affairs often happen because two people are seeking validation, appreciation, and attention. Since emotional affairs aren't usually started on purpose (like physical affairs), psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini gives 7 warning signs that you may be involved in an emotional affair.

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[ricky]

just found out my wife was having an emotional affair a month ago, supposedly not physical, but all 7 signs were 100% accurate. this is a great video. They started off as friends and that grew into them texting all day and night. they would talk for hours after I went to bed, she went to work but only worked a half day and spent the rest of her shift "eating dinner and watching a movie" with him. her root problem is she doesn't have any boundaries with her "friends". This type of affair always happens when you start to over communicate with someone outside of your marriage. This is not the first time she has done this. we are getting a divorce.

Update…. What started as an emotional affair turned into a physical affair. This was not the first time, but it was the last. We have been divorced for over a year. We are both in better places now. Thanks for all the comments telling me to work it out. We were together for 13 years and this was a recurring cycle every 2 years. Some people are not meant to be together.

[bobsanderz]

I think an emotional affair would be more hurtful. That heart to heart connection is so much more powerful than a quick physical hookup

[acdc]

Completely avoidable: if you are getting too friendly with someone, cut it out. That simple! If you don't do it, than it is intentional cheating. Not happy in your relationship? Say it before getting involved with someone else emotionally or physically

[anhtuyetnguyenthi]

1. Feel closer to the friend
2. The friendship is kept secret
3. Think about the friend
4. Pay attention on how you look to this friend
5. Begin to have sexual fantasy with the friend, comparing with the partner, reduced sexual drive to the partner
6. Find opportunities to be alone with the friend.
7. Started to break personal boundaries

[WickedWordzz]

Spelled the end of my last relationship. He realized the mistakes he made, and had regrets, but the damage was done. Of course they only lasted about 2 months. The grass isn't always greener. He learned that the hard way, and I moved on with my life and am doing much better than I've ever been. Thank you God for that blessing in disguise.

[larrymbouche]

The human heart is a treacherous beast and is able to cause terrible pain and grief.

[cyannalove]

Emotional affair is another form of cheating.. and the feelings sucks💔 You know that something is not right💔

[marcelo]

I didn't know it was happening, until we start talking about how we should've had married each other years ago, she made a joke that we should run away together, I stay up at night staring my pregnant wife and thinking about her. I just told her that we need to stop this, I'm becoming a father and I can't have that in my marriage, she said she is always gonna keep me in her heart. Boy it hearts like hell today.

[queenfrost]

It's a shame my spouse doesn't realize that he's having a emotional affair with someone he barely knows. I'm literally beginning to emotionally detach myself from him because of it.

[robertpayne]

Been together 14 years 2 kids lovely home, marriage was getting stagnant but thought it would pass, one night my wife said she wants to separate to go figure out her life, start a new chapter. Gut instinct told me to check her phone while asleep, find out she's been texting, snapchatting, Facebook this guy for 2 months and she said we're just friends, the content of the messages suggested otherwise. Follow your gut, I love my wife as of right now I believe it's just emotional, but I pray that's as far as it goes, and hope she realizes what it's doing to our family and diverts the energy into us reconstructing our marriage rather than taking to a point of no return. Our poor children definitely don't deserve this.

[SeanWeird]

The best is when you start to pick up on these signs from your partner and they reply with “jealous” “controlling” “manipulative” “overbearing”. Some people can’t be reasoned with, best to just end it asap. We don’t have to be together and it’s okay to be single.

[MrColdasiice]

Didn’t know how dangerous this can be. Every time your”friend” leaves it feels they take a part of you with them.

[Urezme]

This just recently happened too me & I’m so heart broken. My health went down the drain this past year & lost two family members & fell into a deep depression. During this time period my wife developed a emotional relationship with her boss & then began talking with another man online. It hurts bc I blame myself bc I wasn’t there for her as much as what I should have been. Also the fact that she wasn’t there for me either while I was going through these horrible times. I love her & forgive her but I don’t want my heart broken again.

[gatchcat]

Watching this is exactly what happened to me with my husband. It started out as a friend then it became emotional and physical. I found a conversation that they had and now we're trying to work out our marriage. He quickly broke it off with her. We've been married for 38 years.

[yanchily]

an ex once told me she never cheated on me.. yes physically and technically and i kept on wondering how those words never felt right all this time.. until i learned this thing called emotional cheating ☺️

[MrQuagmire]

From experience, emotional affairs also happen when a personality disordered individual need supply/external validation. If a person on top is unable to see their own mistakes, and constantly blame their partner for their own wrongdoings. Well, then there's a chance that this will eventually lead to break-up/divorce.

[ladylexidoo]

I recently only realized that I have been emotionally betrayed for the last 3 years. I knew my partner is attracted, physically and sexually, to other women, but I still gave our relationship a chance. Until recently, I couldn’t take the betrayal anymore. He thought I was stupid to not know that he has been continously checking out the same woman, 2 women, for the last 3 years. I wasn’t jealous, but it hurt so much that despite my sacrifices, my giving it all, it’s still not enough to make him faithful and loyal.💔💔💔😭😭😭

[sabrinacheng]

It happened to me. My ex broke up with me because he didn’t want to stop the emotional affairs he’s involved in. The shitty part is, his excuses was that we have different ethics and morals regarding to friendship. BTW, his so called “friendship “ literally fits the 7 signs. And it hurts me so much. I think he just didn’t love me.

[truckerflip]

Thank you for making this video. Now I know that I was having a emotional affair. I had 3 out 7 signs. I’m aim doing what you said to repair my relationship with my wife. Thanks for sharing this video

[Mari-lvrd]

Quite by accident I met a taxi driver and began calling him privately for rides to and from the airport. We just clicked in conversation and we both noted that we really enjoyed each other's company. He mentioned his wife so I knew he was off bounds romantically., but it was so much fun to see him, he is an knowledgeable auto mechanic and helped me twice when I had a car problem. Always a gentleman, pleasant and sweet. I realized I couldn't be friendly anymore when he blurted out that he had decided I was a good woman and that I was one of the nicest people he had ever met. He invited me to meet him, his wife and their friends at a new church in the neighborhood....I just begged off, it just felt wrong. This was an emotional affair that had to be nipped in the bud. The fact that I don't often connect with someone like this is my problem.