Recovering from Complex PTSD with Elizabeth Ferreira | Being Well Podcast

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is the result of the slow accumulation of many small traumatic experiences over time. Resource scarcity, physical or emotional abuse, inconsistent or neglectful parenting, and needing to manage your parents’ emotions as a child can all contribute to the myriad symptoms of CPTSD, which include low self-esteem, hyperarousal, feelings of guilt or shame, and a chronically dysregulated nervous system.

About our Guest: Elizabeth is a recent graduate of the Somatic Psychology program at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) and is currently earning hours toward her license.

Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
2:20 Elizabeth’s story
5:30 Trauma in the broader family system
9:00 A “normal” story
12:20 Loneliness, and the parts of us we leave behind
15:35 Repressed emotions
18:00 Adverse childhood experiences
21:50 Stepping out of adverse environments
27:00 Trauma work as grief work
30:00 Symptoms of Complex PTSD
36:20 How do you need to be comforted?
39:00 Creating the sense of safety
42:10 Somatic interventions
47:00 Being witnessed
49:20 Claiming your needs
52:15 Facing the dreaded experience
56:10 Accuracy vs. sensitivity
59:55 Hidden parts
1:03:00 Start by joining
1:07:20 Recap

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[TranscendingTrauma]

Mind blown, a lot of my life explained with this statement…”you never attune to the person that’s having the best time in the room. You attune to the person that’s having the shittiest time in the room. Because that’s how your little nervous system developing had to. You had to attune to the parent that was having the worst day. So you could monitor it and fix it.” 😮

[katieleish]

Hypersensitivity “is like a raw exposed nerve going out into the world”, that explains it perfectly!

[rhondajo]

I love this honest, intimate, vulnerable conversation.

I'm 67 years old and am the first person in a family of six generations of incest, wife abuse, child abuse and alcoholism to stand up, speak out and begin the liberating work of therapy.

My children are the first in the lineage of inter-generationational healing. They are awesome people despite their dysfunctional parents. Alas, I can see the wounds they carry from my own woundedness. But, thankfully, they are much healthier individuals than myself or my husband.

Now, my grandson is the 2nd generation in a new legacy of health, wholeness and freedom.

I benefitted immensely from this conversation and have shared it with five people already, including my son and daughter.

[jennykay]

I love the bit Elizabeth said about the power of just being sweet and soft and warm. It's so true! I think people can get way too focused on therapeutic strategy, when just being attuned with someone with soft warm loving energy is the gold dust.

[jenniez]

Image your husband or bf listening to you like this for an hour. Can’t be more sweetness.

[Driedleavesontrees]

I hate how bullying in school isnt seen as harmful in the long run. I was bullied very horribly from 4th to 7th grade to the point that I have repressed a lot of those memories and I now dissociate from reality whenever anything remotely stressful happens. Ive always hated telling people I was bullied cause the word almost makes it seem childish.

Edit: thank you for the replies, they really mean a lot ❤️ I wish all of you the best

[sarahcouture]

I really appreciate how she talks about having been in denial about the level of trauma based on comparison with her parents blatantly abusive childhood trauma. I can so relate to that! My struggles were always minimized and I was told I had a perfectly normal happy healthy childhood when that is just so false. But I believe it sometimes because of the lifelong gaslighting

[briananderson]

"Managing your parents' emotions..." Wow. That's a substantial one because it becomes almost a constant, particularly if you're chronically managing and interpreting the emotions of both parents simultaneously.

[lizzeh]

Getting to a point where you can create new, healthier, emotional regulatory habits with cptsd is exactly what Elizabeth said. It is grieving for the loss of your childhood innocence, expressing your anger about having to be your parent's parent (or any real or perceived wrongdoing), and trying to unmask your true self.

[JustDee]

She described my CPTSD so well, I’ve never heard someone tell my story the way she has. Wow . I’m floored. I’ve had years and years of working on healing from my traumas and have never heard it so well put. Thank you 🙏🏼 wonderful conversation.
I think you two are an amazing set of humans.

[tallyfriend]

Please have Elisabeth back again, I so relate to her experiences. Elisabeth is articulate and intelligent. Bravo you two are amazing.

[waakdfms]

You guys are adorable together. This is the first time I've met Elizabeth and I must say she reminds me so much of myself as also a "sweet" and tender HSP with CPTSD. Trying to explain myself when I "can't be around another nervous system" right now or feeling "sheer terror" when trying to tell others what I feel or need was summarized perfectly by her. I also "managed up" and was head parent to my own parents and siblings. Thank you both for this excellent session. It made me feel seen and validated…great job guys!

[dnk]

I’m thankful for what you are both doing. I am married now to a wonderful man. We have been together almost seven years. His willingness to hold space for me, accept me and love me for who I am has been so healing!

[curiousnetty]

I’m in my 60s and for most of my life I’ve realised something wasn’t right, that I was emotionally deeply fucked up. I’ve recently been listening to podcasts about CPTSD and slowly coming to the realisation that, yes, this is it. Your podcast has nailed it. Don’t know what I can do about it but thank you.
I’m so happy that you have each other. I wish you both a long and rewarding life ❤️

[bvon]

Real people. No masks. Open and honest. Nurturing. Healing. Refreshing. Edifying. Thank you. ❤️

[smarsh_from_mars]

My god I have never heard someone tell so accurately how it is living with C-PTSD and how important it is to find the right therapist.

[eugenelewis]

It is really something how similar our experiences can be. Thank you both. "A piece of you that is always trapped as a child when you are an adult." Yes. Yes. Yes.

[CreativeArtandEnergy]

I appreciate when you said EMDR was not helpful because I had that and the therapist was blaming me. But I love that people like you are getting support and showing up, because I’m also really sweet and strive for space to accept what I need without intense humiliation over my self esteem.

[PiskeyFaeri]

One day, I'd love to see people discuss long-term trauma from DV that happens in the 15-25 age span. I keep seeing people discuss childhood trauma and adult DV, and I'm really happy that's being talked about, but I also feel very left out of the conversations because nothing mirrors my experiences of grooming and DV.

[triciamedora]

This is the only perspective I have related to, making sense of CPTSD and can apply to flashbacks and rumination that has made a difference for the 1st time in my life. My childhood was lost in a sea where no one heard me. I learned to do everything on my own. I was drowning. The adults in my life watched when I was screaming and I watched my brother drowned. No one heard him, the experience caused a traumatic loss and a lesson that I had to save myself. I learned the fear, pain, and isolation would get better when I rescued myself. I took responsibility for all that happened to me even at the hands of others. I gave up on people after my brother died. The adults did not help him and watched him suffer. I closed myself off the day I lost my brother. I believed I was responsible for saving myself. The last 2 podcasts I watched were life changing. I do not say that lightly at all. I feel heard/understood, without being there in person. A light switch went on. I can see and accept the reality and pain.. it is not easy but there is life where I am now, I don't have to hide and deny my emotions. The reality is that I am a worthy person. All of us are worthy and.meant to have human connection with integrity and respect that does exist in this world. There is a new road for me to travel, I just began to journey down the road but it's so beautiful and full of life. I pray everyone finds the road that connects all of us !
🌈❤️