INTJ Female & Male on Being Perceived as Cold

Two INTJs discuss why our Ni, Te and Fi can make us appear blunt or cold. Learn how we've attempted to soften our harshness with building social skills and have grown to appreciate social interaction.

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[ashwinp]

I definitely agree that I have difficulty asking for help. It took me far too long to realize that people who see you as a friend may even like you asking them for help because they perceive it as you trusting in them.

[AndyLifeInVideo]

INTJ: When I was younger in my 20s, I was far more flippant and facetious in my humor and observations. If anyone took offense to it, I'd laugh at them for being too sensitive to everything. Over time, I've toned that type of humor down. I've learned to tap more into my Fi and can read people much better than before and I take their emotional response (potential and actual) into consideration when making decisions and interacting.

[xXRubellaXx]

I'm watching and you're talking about giving feedback/criticism. Try a "compliment sandwich": You say one good thing, one negative thing/thing that needs to be improved, then finish with an overall positive conclusion/reassurance.

[nellyishtari]

I'm not cold, I do my best to fight the global warming.
I am environementally efficient!

[peregrination]

I'm mostly around ST types, so if I'm prone to be offensive they either don't notice or think it's not worth telling me about. From the times I've known myself to be offensive it wasn't in a Feeling way, but more an Si way--there was a proper conduct for the situation, and I wasn't aware of it. I'm slow in that respect. Otherwise I'm frequently told I'm sweet and down-to-earth, though I suspect since I say so little and don't make a ruckus they took it to mean I was nice and mature. I'm not sure if I was in a Ni-Fi loop early in life, but those are the two functions I consciously relied on as a kid. I think Te was more of how I projected during school hours and even my family had to encourage me to act on logic more--I had the logic, but I was so in my head I didn't act unless there was external pressure. My friends knew me to be both nurturing and bossy at times (I had big aspirations for us and they just wanted to goof off--XSFPs). So I just can't see myself being particularly poor at Fi, I'm just not as free with it as a Fi-dom.

[rhozzercareras]

OMG I got really excited when I read the title of this video. I quite agree that INTJ appear or sound cold in conversations, I am currently chatting an INTJ, sometimes the person is upbeat, happy and nice but sometimes Cold, OMG I'd like to know more. Continue

[commonsenseneedtobepractic]

💘 it iam perceive cold and aloof but i do have feelings to hell with the manipulators .