To heal, let go of the victim identity. #neuroplasticity #traumahealing

This is habit #2 of my ‘7 Habits for Successful Nervous System Regulation.’ ▶️ Watch the FULL vlog to learn more (link on this short).

To your nervous system health!

Irene & Team Lyon
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#somatichealing
#nervoussystemregulation
#becomeyourownmedicine

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The statements on this YouTube channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

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[Siobhan-oq]

When i was in full victim of my trauma (identifying with it more) then this would trigger me massively. So all the people who are triggered i get it. If I wrote about what happened to me here youd need to seek therapy. It is heinous. But being identified as a victim was getting me nowhere. However, i needed to play that 'role' for that time.

Do i still go into victim mode? Absolutely. Lol. And thats ok. Accepting where we are (whether victim, survivor, warrior stage or all of them in between) we are doing exactly what we can in this moment. Just accepting that is the main thing.

I am sorry to everyone who has been through traumas and i send u infinite love and prayers to come out of where you are and shine like the pure soul you are. May we all be given our self realisation of who we are and how we are divine. Lots of love xxx

[alanfrancis]

An appropriate time must be given to grieving. Unfortunately some of the trauma is unconscious and will take time to be released. When this comes up the raw emotion including anger, rage, sadness etc will spontaneously energy. So for that release “ you” will be the victim. So it’s not all I am no longer a victim full stop. Yes of course to heal you break free of being a victim but realise bits of you will remain victim until released.

[dariabrodyagina]

My heart goes out to everybody, who are being judged and shamed for suffering from the shit they have been through, I see you, I feel you and I send you love❤
Dear Irene, I love and appreciate your work, I am in my third round of SBSM and I am seing big progress thanks to it, but such unsensitive statements are not helpful at all. Can you even imagine how much judgement and victim-blaming people have to face in our society? As for me this very sort of judgment or comparison of the "good patients" with the "bad uncomplient ones" not only by "regular" people, family and "friends", but also by health care providers and therapists made things even worse and became a separate trauma of its own and made me refrain from seeking any kind of professional help for 7 years. And I know that I am not alone with such experiences. I totally get what you mean, but I would like to point out, that it takes A LOT of stability and nervous system health to swallow such a statement without being triggered, deeply hurt and even retraumatised. I am wondering how comes that a person who understands the mechanism of trauma and stored stress so well and knows that a lot of the reactions start in the body and not in the head, makes statements that are suggesting that you can "decide away" your pain. I even agree that it is possible at some point to change the attitude out of a place o stability, but certainly not when you are a hot mess of CPTSD symptoms. To me it feels like with the one hand you give me the understanding of what is going on with me at a level I have never faced before and with the other one you slep me in the face for facing those things. I swallowed it all down when you posted something of this king for the first and second time, but now I had to say something just to take care of myself and adress my frustration to be able to continue with the work with no bad aftertaste because i kept my mouth shut on this one and even though I don't expect that you really hear me, as you seem to be very convinced of your point even though a lot of people have already explained what it does to them.

[LUA_LUA_LUA]

Dear Irene,

When you say "victim identification mode", it seems like it's a deliberate decision, as if the person would like to be in this position.

2 points:

- there's a line connecting past and present, and, for the more complex situations (CPTSD, long-term abvse, abvse during all the formative years, etc.), people are not a blank slate when it comes to healing from all that, very probably living the multiple consequences of that (including financial consequences, and things can kind of turn into a snowball, everything coming together and reinforcing one another);

- When that's the case (the much more complex backstory), there's a good probability of not being so well in the present, in all areas of life (as the ACE shows). If the person hasn't repressed the memories, if the're not projecting their stuff on innocent people, they are linking correctly causes and consequences. It is the truth of their life, and it's not good/healthy trying to run from the truth.

I suppose that you're talking about people who have already achieved some healing or people who've experienced less trauma.

Where I live there's no therapies like yours (there's something but only for someone from an elite background, nothing for middle-class people, much less poor people).


Different society/ culture factor:

And here - I know that's not what you're doing - the *results* of healing are presented as "you should", like blaming and shaming those who present more symptoms of an extremely abv.sive past (and maybe present). It comes from everywhere, from common-sense "self-help" to professionals who should know better.

If you're not there ("healed" - or apparently healed), it a mark of _moral_ inferiority, and the others present themselves as morally superior (with no shame or consciousness whatsoever), even professionals (psy area).

It's uncommon to see even simple PTSD diagnosis (diagnosis-> treatment), something that, for example, SA'd women go through not infrequently.


PS: Sorry for the lenghty comment.

[Gydjulind]

What are you doing, Irene??? Your sharings on YouTube seem to have taken a shaming and blaming twist lately 😢… Please read the comments below.

[akilasultana]

These comments. Thank you! Idk, maybe someone who isn’t trauma aware is editing these shorts out of context and not aware of how they’re coming across, idk!

[alliegee]

Jesse Lee Petersons message is basically this

[Berlynic]

It is deeply disappointing to hear such judgemental statements like "no longer have victim identity". Some people are not even cognitively aware that they have victim identity. To this day, it terrifies me to even put words like "pain", "suffeting", "victim" etc in the same sentence with "me", "I", my name etc... and yet I do understand and can acknowledge cognitively now that I actúally still am a victim, I have a victim identity, I am treatment resistant. Why? Because my female parent's abuse caused my deep sense of terror within, the terror I felt when she was terrorizing me is the terror I feel every moment, every instant of my existance: I'm terrified to do anything and everything, I feel powerless and helpless, like I always did. I have never felt a positive emotion - I don't know how it feels, it took decades for me to realise this truth about myself; I have lived in perpetual self-gaslighting before. Trapped in a Complex Trauma Prison Of Failure and got tired of it - I finally was forced to acknowledge that I have a victim identity. Essential part of healing and helping someone to heal is dismantling the victim identity, not "letting go of victim identity" first, and then you can heal" - it's a terrible, judgemental and discouraging statement of shaming.
Dictionary describes a victim as someone being helpless at the moment of certain events: we were helpless when we were abused, and this helplessness has become our identity whether we are aware of it or not. Helplessness in adulthood expresses itself as not having a sense of agency, therefore, sense of victimhood. Everything we felt at those moments of being victims has stayed in us, it keeps on living in our bodies and our nervous systems, it has become our identity, it's all we've ever experienced, it's all we've ever known, it's all our nervous systems can recognize, it's all our nervous systems chose because it's all they know, it's the very thing that is preventing our nervous systems of allowing anything else, so how the hell can we not have victim identities? How the hell can we just "let go"of this all consuming, all destroying, everything that's good preventing victim identity and ONLY THEN gloriously heal?
Healing and helping to heal should be about including those who are on the deepest bottom, the perpetual victims, not about judging and shaming them. Greatest part of healing is dismantling everything that constitutes the very victim identity, not "letting go" of it, so you can then heal 😢