Critiquing this first time foster parent - ME!

This one is a bit nostalgic for me - I have no idea if anyone else will care but here it is just in case!!:)

So I unearthed this video from about five years ago lol I was waiting for the worker to come to my house to inspect the home as part of my licensing to become a foster parent!

My friends and family had contributed so much to our home so I made a little video and showed them how we set everything up as I anxiously awaited the worker to get to our house :)

Anyway, in this video, I rewatch about how some of the things have changed around here since getting licensed.

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[KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

Thank you for this FUN and INFORMATIVE look back!
An idea: leave the written safety requirements for your area’s foster homes in a notebook that is left out for the kids to read so that they can see that everything is required to be locked away, it’s not just because you’re a control freak. 😸

[goblinguy]

The best thing you can do is look back and laugh. Being able to improve yourself to the point you cringe at your past is amazing!

[annaf]

I still remember my very first house inspection. It wasn't even the place where I was going to foster, I was still looking for a bigger apartment but the social worker still wanted to come to my home to "get to know me better". I cleaned and cleaned, every lamp, every shelf, inside the drawers, everything. I wondered if I should have music playing in the background, what items I should have inside my fridge (I was going to offer coffee so I'd have to take the milk out) and if I should wear socks or not (it was summer). The day before the visit, I panicked and hired a professional cleaning service for the first time. Afterwards everything looked the same as before except they had used some weird product that made all the floors sticky so it was back to sweeping.
The morning of the visit I finally lost it and poured out my perfectly good butter milk because I thought the milk had gone bad and ran to the store to buy new milk...
Now, 6 years and lots of visits later, I tell the social worker not to take off her shoes because it's Tuesday afternoon and my cleaning day is Wednesday and the kids just spilled the kinetic sand and won't tell me why there's tape all over the floors...

[caspenbee]

Wow, that sounds like a huge financial investment. I hadn't considered things like cars being in the inspection or replacing windows. Good to know!

[justagose]

As someone a decade or two younger, your videos always stick out to me as what I'd like to be doing someday in terms of foster parenting and advocating for child welfare. You are super cool!

[bp]

Very cool to see. My mom was a county foster care licenser for 30 years. She retired 2 years ago. I grew up with her telling me how to get the right crib, have banisters that were a certain space apart and what an egress window was. She went above and beyond to help foster parents access resources so their homes could pass inspection.

[timmerynicole]

Its so interesting seeing other agency's requirements. Ours basically required beds, fire extinguisher and smoke detectors, windows that open (ours are from the 20s, and we didn't have to replace anything)

They don't make us lock anything. Didnt check for specific food.... It was surprisingly simple.

We also learned quickly about wall hangings. We had a coat rack bolted in the wall that came down in 2 days...🤦🏼‍♀️ love your videos!

[channah]

Thanks for this! We're preparing for our first placement, and you're saving us from so many rookie mistakes!

[Jennifer-fltv]

I had to replace windows too as they failed fire inspection and it cost $6, 300 (they were too small and too high on the wall). I foster through rhe county so less strict on a lot of things but the windows being up to fire code is a universal thing. So definitely have savings because those home safety fixes arent cheap. But i will say it is worth it. Even if i never foster again having windows in bedrooms that i know a firefighter could enter through gives me peace of mind.

[sthomson]

Love the decal on the sliding door! That's a great idea for every family! (Also the pool fence TBH).

[blackwhite]

New car, new fence, new windows... dang!!! and I was frustrated with the super expensive steel cabinet, for the garage, that I had to purchase 😮 You're so awesome ❤

We have a brand spanking new home and we STILL had to add a customized door to the boiler room which is in the garage which has a locked door to enter it 🤷🤦🏼‍♀️

[lhbuttercup]

I love watching your videos, but they also make me really sad. I loved fostering children. I fid it off and on for over twenty years. Unfortunately, I witnessed so much trauma by "the system" towards the children and families in my care. As a result I experienced secondary trauma and my forever children and family experienced trauma. For example, I had a little girl that had been with me since birth reunified at four years of age without any kind of transition (she hadn't even had overnight visits yet). I am glad she is with her mom, but I wonder what damage was done when she was pulled from the person who had been her primary caregiver without any thought for the trauma that she surely suffered. Her court appointed advocate was completely against the actions of our state and was also helpless to stop what the lawyers were planning to do. In my state foster caregivers were routinely villainized and blamed for the short comings of workers that didn't do their job. I found new ways to help families and children. There are lots of ways that don't include foster care.

[jordynensor]

not to make any assumptions, but i’d imagine you’d have to be pretty well off in order to foster just with all the expensive additions and changes like the windows and fence, plus all the things you buy for each child. it’s just really nice to see people give back in a way like this, using their funds to better the world

[aznperswazn]

We have been licensed fosters for about a year and a half now. It has been really interesting seeing the differences in what you state was required vs what we have had to. We are in maryland. I love seeing your perspective and hearing different tips and tricks.

[zdr]

Wow. Its really cool seeing what stuff you kept and what you got rid of which could be helpful to others. I love the way you look back on it and laugh. I love what you do.

[timpy]

Bless you for adjusting your living space so much to care for so many kids!

[chelseathomson]

Interesting to see how different areas have such different considerations. Several of the things you pointed out were not even mentioned for us

[annajohnson]

I teach toddlers at a Montessori school and we have a little kitchen area to prepare snacks and whatnot, and so I’ve quickly gotten used to every drawer and cabinet being locked. It definitely takes some getting used to but I hardly notice now

[laartje]

Very useful to hear the things you would do different.

[darthdaja]

Wow its crazy how much money it costs to get aprooved for fostering. I would never be able to afford so many big changes/things at the same time + all the smaller stuff.