How to Stop Seeking External Validation

Let's get off the external validation-seeking train...ya?

// F O L L O W

// A B O U T

Hi, I'm Kajal, a certified transformational coach & intuitive guide. This channel is dedicated to helping raise consciousness, heal your relationship with yourSelf and be sovereign and free in who you are. Join me for the unlearning and remembrance journey.

Stay open.

Keywords: #validationseeking #selflove #ownwhoyouare

[helloitsme]

if you're not validating yourself, you are criticizing yourself.. speak it!! I did not realize I've been living in constant self criticism and couldn't understand why my self perception was so low. Thank you for this video it was so helpful. You are GORGEOUS by the way, need a skin care life coach video lol

[whentheheartspeaks]

If you are not validating yourself you are criticizing yourself! I desire to take better care of myself!

[laradara]

You have to know yourself very well, inside and out, then after you don’t really need validation

[benjamindavis]

Wow what an amazing realization I had from this video. Recognizing that the idea of my lack of value stems from my parents and how they may not have recognized or needed the value I have. Powerful because it allows you to take back my own power. It’s all just conditioning. We are born so valuable and capable. I love it!! You are a blessing in this world. Keep sharing!

[blankearth]

This goes for people who are dealing with psychological trauma. If you seek external validation you’ll run the risk of getting invalidated and then salt enters the wounds.

[justanordinarydemigay]

External Validation was what I subscribed to as a kid, and I never felt like I got it from my family much, so it was always my teachers or friends that filled that void in my life, now that I'm alone with my family 24/7, it's a much bigger struggle than I could have ever imagined

[regulardude]

You seek validation from others because you have the belief that you have no value. Change that belief and your craving for others' validation will disappear.

[shanmugapriyamohan]

My aaha moment was when you said honesty as one of the intrinsic gifts. I always thought only skills were gifts. But this makes sense. I feel so much better learning this. thank you

Second aaha moment was when you said when PPL don't value ur intrinsic gifts you feel unvaluable and long to feel the way you want to. This has nothing to do with our self worth, we just need to find PPL who find our intrinsic gifts valuable. For that we have to see our intrinsic gifts, try to recognise them, if they are not valued in our community reach for a new community, validate them.

Thank you!!

[ajaythomas]

My parents also discarded what i had it in me....due to which i went searching for approval everytime n made my life miserable....probably its time to find the things we are good in and giving it a chance

[brittanybrown]

The part that stood out to me is the example about being honest. Just because those around you don’t value honesty does not mean it does not have value. Start seeking people and places that value what you have to offer and what is important to you. Instead of trying to change yourself to fit in to other people’s ideals.

[agabrook]

You've spoken to me. I really was born in a family that doesn't appreciate my talents but wants me to be someone else. Thanks

[mariar]

Yeah it doesnt feel normal/comfortable...but all this makes sense.
My takeway:
1.Start with acknowledging your belief systems & own character gifts.
2. Change ur environment to a setting where those gifts are recognized and slowly that boost of confidence will come.
3. Start cutting the middle man out. Start saying those things to urself.

[Kyrmana]

Very fitting with this is the idea of quadras in socionics. The people in your quadra are more or less good at what you're not and bad at what you're good at, all while valuing the same aspects. When you meet and interact with them it feels so natural and healing 😌

[annhall]

Great video! I like the way you phrased that parents didn’t need one’s gift. Thinking that way takes away a large amount of the anger and frustration from being devalued as child and opens the door to compassion toward your parents because they are human too. The compassion is a more positive thought process than anger .

[goaboy]

OMG … the knowledge video gave me what I’ve been always seeking, a means to validate myself rather than rely on external, and mostly harmful, sources for validation. Thank you so much Kajal 💛🙏 May the stars always shine on you ✨

[essence____beauty_]

I just need to keep conditioning my mind with affirmations and vs waiting for someone to give me the approval to feel extra special, loved this goes for close friends, family, business partners . One thing I do struggle with if you have someone who you admire or look up to but somewhere if I’m reaching out you & clear read my msg & never respond but have time to reach out to others I try not to feel away about it does make me feel abandoned, less important at times or feel I’m not that special to you as a person I think that’s why I automatically reject myself the idea of not reaching out to ppl because when you expect a lot from ppl they will disappoint you so you don’t want waste my time & energy

[mitalgandecha]

Let it come from within and life will be yours

[christianmohammed]

This whole video has been revealing, it helped me understand self validation much better and is a part of my now playlist of mental help.

[fruitcupsandorangejuice]

I'm a little confused, I feel like I have too much self esteem and I need to become way more humble, but I also need others to give me their love and attention? I was born the youngest in my family and I think I have always wanted and kind of expected for everyone's world to rotate around me; I need their constant and total validation, all the time. I think I want to be the centre of the world and to be everyone's top priority, even if they aren't mine. For example, I want everyone in my family to have so much attention to me and comfort me (but only in the right timing about the right things, and by saying the right words) and I want everyone to see me as their number one best friend, even if they are not mine. I also don't want to sacrifice other things for other people. But I really want to change this, and I really want to be able to give to others, become self resourceful, and stop craving others constant attention and perfection.
And I feel like in some ways I do feel like I am incapable of doing things myself until someone pours their time and energy into comforting me and telling me things are okay, and I find myself saying "I just want to hear these words from someone and then I can do it" but in different scenarios sometimes I want to be left alone complexly so I can focus on my own selfish endeavours and bettering myself. I feel like I am a total attention seeker, expect perfection from myself and others, extremely selfish, and this needs to change. Can you please help me?

[abbietanner]

Every woman needs this knowledge! Thankyou for taking to effort to create this for us!! ☺️🔥