Narcissism,Toxic Relationship, Manipulation, Therapy & Elon Musk - Havovi H. | FO290 Raj Shamani

Disclaimer: This video is intended solely for educational purposes and opinions shared by the guest are her personal views. We do not intent to defame or harm any person/ brand/ product/ country/ profession mentioned in the video. Our goal is to provide information to help audience make informed choices.

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Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro
02:49 - Psychologist vs Psychiatrist
05:36 - Malpractices in Medication
07:33 - Common Personality Disorders
09:23 - What Is Narcissism
11:08 - Understanding Narcissism
12:57 - Traits vs Disorders
14:21 - Types of Narcissism
22:07 - Are World Leaders Narcissists
30:13 - The Myth of a Perfect Family
35:06 - What Is Separation Abuse
39:25 - Common Family Problems
42:00 - How to Deal with Family Issues
51:15 - How Narcissism Affects Children
57:50 - What Does Toxic Mean
58:34 - Narcissism in Relationships
1:09:34 - Why It’s Hard to Leave a Narcissist
1:11:23 - Power Couples Around the World
1:19:02 - Why Consistency Matters
1:22:36 - Why Narcissistic People Succeed
1:25:21 - Narcissism in the Workplace
1:28:08 - Why Society Celebrates Narcissism
1:35:19 - Thank You
1:35:35 - Outro

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In today’s episode of Figuring Out, we have Havovi Hyderabadwalla in conversation with Raj Shamani. She is a Clinical and Forensic Psychologist with over a decade of experience and in-depth knowledge of people, their behavior, and various personality disorders.

In this episode, we discussed the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist, when people should consult a psychiatrist, common personality disorders observed in Indians, and why many individuals develop these disorders. We also explored who a narcissistic person is, their traits, how they behave, and the impact they have on others. Additionally, we delved into the common types of narcissistic personalities, including communal narcissism, narcissistic traits in family members, and the typical signs of these traits in parents.

Towards the end, we talked about separation narcissism, why victims often fall for narcissistic people, what they go through, and her thoughts on the movie Animal. We also discussed whether a child can fix a narcissistic parent, how a narcissistic partner affects the victim, whether narcissistic individuals tend to succeed professionally, how to identify narcissistic bosses, how to deal with them, and the qualities of nurturing leaders with healthy narcissism. To keep watching such insightful podcasts, subscribe to our channel now!

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To Know More,
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Instagram @RajShamani

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Facebook @ShamaniRaj

LinkedIn - Raj Shamani

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About Figuring Out
Figuring Out Podcast is a Candid Conversations University where Raj Shamani brings raw conversations with the Top 1% in India.

[Arita]

Raj, please allow the guest to talk without interruption😊 Narcissism is a very huge topic... Please bring this guest again and deep dive.

[sarcasticqueen]

Coming from a family with a narcissistic father and now in a house with a Narc MIL. These people can put your mindset on a toss. To a level where you take up certain narc traits..
The most imp challenge is not handling them but to manage and maintain your own image due to societal pressure that blames you for keeping your own parents away.
Best part in my case is my partner and me both had a narrissitic parent and we know the abuse we've been through since childhood so now while we head towards a better life we don't care about judgements coming from others. We can't go and explain what we've been through.
I still remember my entire childhood i just wanted my mom to leave my father but she couldn't take that step as she believed she had two daughters who need a father. I regret her decision at times. But my mom probably knew about the separation abuse she would've had to go through then.
As she said, leave and run!!
I just zone out from my MIL..and mentally detached from my Father.
Also it took me 30yrs to realize that my fathers validation is an impossible thing and so is appreciation from my MIL so i stopped expecting it from them. Life becomes easy when you realise these behavioural patterns and facts associated with Narcs.

[dassanghamitra]

16:20 - Covert, the way she narrated, it shook me to the core. That's what exactly happened to me. That person had changed my own perspective about myself. Love bombing, gas lighting, confusion. inconsistent behavior - it all took me 16 years, a beautiful kid, a job loss, 2 surgeries to leave him. But I am glad that I did it.

[suprithar]

OMG!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I have watched all the videos of Dr. Ramani and Danish Bashir about Narcissism. She has explained it beautifully, but it's in an American context. In this podcast, @Raj Shamani mentioned the Indian culture/upbringing aspect of it. My father has all the traits she mentioned.

Now, I have left home, and as an Indian, I feel guilty every day about leaving a parent and not taking care of him. It took me 25 years to come out of it, and finally, I did. I’m serious—this freedom terrifies me. At last Raj used the perfect words it either Guilt or Suffocation, no other choice.

Rebuilding my whole life—financially, emotionally, mentally, and even my nervous system—is overwhelming. I need to find good people, rebuild my "village, " unlearn the survival skills I picked up in childhood, and relearn how to create and thrive in a healthy environment.

[rajulgala]

I’ve come to an important realization after listening to this episode. It’s become clear to me that I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a narcissistic partner, and over time, I’ve adopted some of those behaviours myself. Unfortunately, we’re struggling to connect and support one another now. For years, I’ve been putting my own desires aside, and I’m reaching a point where I need to express myself and prioritize my own well-being. I recognize the need for change and growth, both individually and within our relationship.
As a result, I'm a toxic, narcissistic, burst-out person. I don't care about other people's genuine gestures of love and care 😢

[Wishkanya]

This is for any child who still lives with their narcissistic parent, work hard, find your niche, try to tune out what is happening in your house. GET OUT of that house, the first chance you get whether it is to study away from your house or to find work away from your house. As a daughter of a raging narcissist, I got out 3 years ago, the changes you will see in yourself, the self worth that you have to rebuild..It takes time, but believe me, it's worth it. It comes with a lot of shame and guilt, but it is worth it in the long run. The world around you becomes a little more colourful and beautiful. But the little voice that is programmed into your head constantly saying you are worthless and useless will not leave you, for that you need therapy. And that is where the 'work hard' part comes in, so earn and spend money to better yourself.
I didn't have any of my own interests or likes/dislikes. At the age of 27 I am finding myself now. If someone who was worthless/useless like me can do it, You can too. ❤

[ankuryadav]

Thank you Raj for bringing this guest. This discussion has changed my mind and cleared my thought process. May GOD Bless you.

[Romeschokshi]

Excellent!!!
I have personally experienced narcissism at all levels, and so I can say one thing...all narcissistic people are players, but they forget there is a coach and their worst nightmare...A Super Empath, and the narcs know it intuitively.

[vineshqwerty]

This is a life saving and life changing podcast, millions need this help, thank you Raj and the awesome guest HH!

[foodsurfersnupursumukh]

I really loved when madam said, "I've given a lot but what about so much that you've taken " detachment and separation are the only two options to deal with Narcissists

[PrieyaPerwani]

This is a brilliant topic and needs so much awareness. It took me 22 years to break away from a narcissist. Thank you for this video.

[nikks]

Thank you Havovi ma'am for interviewing Raj Shamani on Narcissism 🙂

[riddhisingh]

i usually don't comment on any video but Raj forced me to comment on this. He was not letting Havovi speak and kept on letting out his thoughts(felt like flexing his knowledge). He cut her so many times

[maverickmaven]

This is so so relatable... I have my father like this... As the orator said I quit and moved to different city for job and was happy. He use to call every now and then to chk how am I doing... Everyone thought he is such caring father. The moment I came back home. He would fight so much with me. He would not even provide food and constantly nag to kick me out of the home. I just wasted 10 yrs of my life. I would never understand why is he behaviour like this. Beyond everything he never had remorse feeling. He always said I did the right thing. I never do wrong to anyone. He messed up me mentally so much.

[reshmakedilaya]

"Make your own village" Love this word💙

[sangeetanandury]

My brother finally left his narcissistic wife after years of suffering!! He got a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage - by that time their kids were adults!!

[navpreetkhairah]

She is beautiful... I'm already a big fan of hers... please discuss childhood trauma, generational trauma, what factors can make or mar the foundational years of a child...

[fizzagmm]

Very well elaborated by Havovi, impressive and calm!

[gajjarpooja]

Toxic relationship is very painful ❤i can fail 😭😭❤️

[snigdhapanda]

Very knowledgeable podcast ! Much needed in todays times!