How To Stop Being Used | Robin Sharma

I went mountainbiking for the first time this year (the snow finally melted) so I'm in an uber-great mood as I write you this message :)

If you've been following my work for a while, whether on Facebook [we're almost 3 million people strong on my page], Instagram [coolest platform on the planet] or via my books or perhaps going x100 higher into a life that makes history by attending my flagship annual event The Titan Summit [we're in Zurich this year and the lineup will blow your mind], you know that the one who serves the best wins.

I've been evangelizing standing for a cause larger than yourself, leadership through radical helpfulness and constructing a life of ridiculous impact for 20+ years. Yes, I started in this field when I was 2 ;)

And though I see beautiful change in the world as more people in business embrace the ideal of monomaniacal value creation and a career built on authentic contribution [business used to be only about money versus craft, community and acute service to humanity], some still feel that if they give a lot, they'll lose too much.

And so I've created a Mastery Session called How to Stop Being Used.

It's pretty short but pretty valuable for you as a Leader Without a Title, A-Player and world-lifter.

As always, hope it serves your rise to legendary.

Robin

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More Resources If You're Ready to Go Deeper:

Robin loves helping + serving...

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[lisaabbwtt]

I think when you respectfully create a boundary and a person ignores, it's time to withdraw your presence. Even with family. Don't hold grudges, but stand your ground. There are a lot of bullies in this world, both physically and emotionally, you cannot be a doormat and expect people not to wipe their feet. Know yourself.

[mountainman]

Yeah I've been surrounded by takers and it is driving me crazy! Time to speak up even if it destroys relationships! Better than destroying me! No more Mr.Nice guy!

[barzinlotfabadi]

Robin you can't control how abusive people react, if they've got the power to abuse you and you're at their mercy, blaming yourself for "teaching them to treat you that way" makes no sense. Don't neglect this part of the issue because you're over sanitizing your message in order to appear upbeat but the real world just doesn't always work that way.

[swertyman]

You didn't teach me how to stop being used. You just talked about your situations.

[lifesymphony]

Robin, the relationship rule is very simple. Don't do anything to others that will hurt you. Treat everyone as you want them to treat you. If it hurts you, it will definitely hurt me. It is common sense and fundamental of any relationships. Do we have to speak up and remind everyone all the time?

[irenekodac]

Yes, my husband is a taker, I'm a giver (have been responsible from the age of 6) and the only way I can keep him from being pushy with me is to get angry at him - he understands that. So, aside from leaving - as you suggest not to surround yourself with takers - what else can a person do. I don't need to show gratitude - he does. He has gotten so much mileage out of me. My time, my energy on his projects never on mine. Generosity has gotten me nothing.

[exposedsubliminalchannels]

I honestly don't care anymore..when I treat people like shit they love it, but when I treat them nicely they treat me badly? Like wtf? I mean, I remember how nice I used to be last year and all I got was a pile of shit! So I decided to give out that IDGAF vibe and now everyone loves me

[ddiamond]

Sorry but I’m the most generous person, I do everything to make everyone else happy. For over 40 years I’m just being taken for granted. Still waiting for the good things to come my way, I just keep getting used because of my kindness & generosity, so I can’t agree with you. Time to to set real boundaries and only give a crap about myself 👍🏼 no point being kind & generous in this world

[varunguptaPlanning]

I also end up paying the bill always when I went to dine with any friend. Probably I have always been surrounded by takers and they have always asked me to pay the bill as their birthright. Which is one of the reasons why, I have withdrawn myself into my shell and only go out with my family or go out alone. I have never been lucky to get such friends who pay the bill quietly for me. Probably I didn't deserve it maybe. That's why God has not given me such friends. But deep down I feel I am generous, I am honest and I do deserve such friends

[sohaibahmed]

Yeah truth we just have to learn to speak up more no matter how uncomfortable it is. Just let them know that's all. But like you said generosity does always win and we shouldn't hide our talents just because the fear of being used.

[emonirayel]

Sometimes ppl walk over your words and totally ignore you when you do speak up..politely. At that point do u cut that person off. Some people dont care about overstepping your boundaries.at that point, can we knock them back in line?

[professionalretard]

Since I could remember I always had friends that were very depressed and used me to talk to. But sometimes it went to far and it would get really bad and I would have to tell an adult who could do more than I could. I would worry and stress so much about these people that for some reason I felt I needed to take care of it didn’t do well for any of my mental health. I saw things a teenager shouldn’t see. These people would eventually get better and then leave me broken. I was used and I knew it. It really took over when one of them took their life and another said that I was the reason they wanted to end it all.

Shit didn’t do good for me in the long run. I developed PTSD and anxiety disorder that hinders my every day life with panic attacks. I share my story to try and help anyone out there to get out of their situation now and take care of yourself, set boundary’s and I want you to know that it’s not your responsibility to take care of someone else you can only do wat you can do

[deadvibes]

I don’t want friends anymore cuz I’m afraid they will use me for a friend

[amiadlm]

In this video i learned:
How to stop being used.
Make buindieries. Say no to takers. But in the same time help to anyone you can

[ChiefCedricJohnson]

Luke 6:28
Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

[shraddhapawar]

I'm tired of being kind and helpful to people all the time. I hate myself for being this. 😠 I've been used by various people since forever. Victim mentality? No. But this is who I am. I can't say NO to anyone or anything... Because I always think other person shouldn't be disappointed. And that's where I lose. And eventually suffer at an extreme And that pain is unbearable... Even though I never show it. 💔

[lifesymphony]

No, Robin. It is not a question of bravery. The needs are falling into deaf ears. People eventually get tired. I read a quote from somewhere, " Stop explaining. People only wants to hear what they wish to hear." Whatever that we say, if it resonates with them, then our needs are met. Or else we are in a different frequency.

[tamaranovak]

People I've been surrounded with all my life are so selfish that it seems they don't have the word "generosity" in their concious vocabulary

[smrutiranjanmohaptra]

this is outstanding analysis dear sir....it will help many of us...thanx

[theresasutherland]

I have been told by a so called friend that i buy my friendships as i get enjoyment out of giving.