Brené Brown on Empathy vs Sympathy

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:

Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013).
She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

Category: Nonprofits & Activism
License: Standard YouTube License

[Killerspy]

I find that starting empathetically and ending sympathetically helps for the most part. It brings connection AND hope.

[lexieluthor]

Omg tear Jerking people in need don't need gift wrapped statements, just someone to listen - not judge and thank them for having the courage to share - give them a voice ... 🙏❤

[lindachen]

The language to express the feeling is so helpful. Sometimes we have that feeling but if we haven't been exposed to it enough, we don't even know what words to put out to express it. 💝🙏🏽

[Charliliean]

I learned more about these 2 words in this 3 minute video than I expected. It makes sense. I never knew how I approached someone mattered in such a deep level

[Airbesh]

I know what it looks like down here, and you are not alone. with that simple statement, I get connection. thank you!

[TimCastleman]

This is why AA works for people addicted to alcohol, and NA works for people addicted to narcotics, Al-Anon for people who are addicted to alcoholics or addicts. It is the shared experience and resulting empathy that gives the suffering one hope and confidence to try the steps and foundation for living that is offered. This is also why singleness of purpose for the various 12 step programs is so important. Great job and thanks for sharing.

[colinayki]

Brilliant
Listening = love
Sympathy = unwittingly separates

Empathy (if voiced) = healing

Advice = usually unnecessary (and always unproductive if offered too soon)!

[ungodlymegalith]

This is every call center’s favorite training video

[ybgy]

I watched this video about 8 months ago and it resonated with me. Since then I have read a lot of books on emotional agility and intelligence as well as Stoicism, and to be honest a lot of psychologists disagree with the idea put forth in it.

The key contention is whether or not one can fully empathize with another person the way they empathize with those who are close to them relationally. In short, empathy differs based on the relationships one has with others. One tends to empathize more and deeper with their families and friends than with colleagues or strangers. It takes an enormous training and years of practice regulate empathy for all people in one's life. Most can't do this.

However sympathy - which contains compassion that is more than superficial - can be practised with more uniformity toward all people regardless of one's relations to them.

[dwightelefson]

This was shared with me because I am going through a long period of grief from multiple issues including unexpectedly losing my wife of 43 years two years ago. I'm having a hard time. I love what this video says, in essence, but I do take exception with her portrayal of sympathy. Yes, many people say the wrong things, especially the "at least" things and do some damage. But not all sympathy is that way. Sympathy is simply caring. Many people truly care but may not have the breadth of experience to encompass empathy. Mostly, a truly caring (sympathetic) person just simply doesn't know what to say. What a great ending and lesson in this video! You don't have to impart words of wisdom; you just have to be there. One of the good memes I got after my wife's death (and I got a lot of "at least's") was, "Instead of saying 'They're in a better place' just say 'This sucks' because that's how we're really feeling." (Nikki Pennington)

[sjeddywellness]

What makes something better is connection! ❤

[watch_nrstudios]

This explains empathy in the purest forms. thank you for this.

[TalMandelbaum]

This is deep, when we connect with someone and then from that place of internal empathy, seek to uplift them, that internal effort itself (without even saying anything) is very healing on an energetic level.

[newtuberfreedom]

Best video ever!!! ☮️💟
I get belittled, invalidated or dismissed when i' m pain, so i try to stop sharing w/ these people, but somehow they get it out of me, just to crush me / kick me when i'm down. It's like a fun game for them to do so and try to play a high-ground card at the same time. Insensitive Narcissists!!

[Rcolo]

IMO! If you think you’re able to be empathetic in every situation, you’re wrong and self-serving and have a savior complex. When empathy is forced, it’s obvious to the person you think you’re being genuinely empathetic towards. Sympathy serves an important role if your motives are sincere.

[jacquelinebaixige]

Amazing video. My professor showed this to the class years ago and I still remember till today. Please turn on the permission for receiving subtitles so that I can add subtitles to this video in a different language. This will be more effective and accurate than AUTO- translated ones. Thank you.

[philly]

**Empathy**: Understanding and sharing someone else's feelings. It's like feeling their pain as if it were your own.

**Sympathy**: Feeling sorry for someone else's misfortune. You recognize their pain but don't feel it yourself.

Empathy = deep emotional connection.
Sympathy = compassion from a distance.

[christinewells-leddon]

I love this! "What makes something better is connection."

[jacobandjune]

Powerful video and message. Not sure if I agree that showing sympathy equates to always trying to make a sad person “look on the bright side.” Sympathy is more so feeling sorry for someone who is in a tough place or who has experienced something bad…not ignoring their pain or woes by highlighting the good things in their life.

[AdamMejias-nc]

This is great! This video will help people understand the meaning of Empathy.