Brené Brown on Empathy

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:

Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013).
She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

[rsaorg]

Exciting news everyone!

Our @ series (of which this video is part) has been nominated for a Webby Award! The Annual Webby Awards represent the best of the Internet, and out of nearly 13, 000 projects submitted this year, RSA Shorts has made it to the final five in the ‘Animations’ category.

The winner is decided by the online public, so we need your vote! Here’s how you can help (voting closes 7th May so be quick!): @t

[xPimpinJx]

"I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just glad you told me." Wish more of my friends knew that phrase instead of dumping advice on me.

[becomingfr]

Empathy doesn't start with 'at least', or 'chin up', or 'get it together' or 'get over it'... it starts with the silence of listening

[JacobSoboroff]

"Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection." True dat.

[SanFranXclips]

"Empathy is not connecting to an experience, its connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience" -Brené Brown

[garage]

4 qualities
- perspective taking
- staying out of judgment
- recognising emotion in other people
- communicating that recognition of emotion

[TheSyntheticPop]

"Empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling." So great and true.

[Pandokie]

I've watched this video 3 times already. I keep coming back to see it cause it just connects with me so much. After my dad unexpectedly passed away, I've learned that there are 4 types of people who try to comfort you.
1) The moose who tries to say "At least.." in everything, hoping to cheer you up. They're the ones that keep saying, "Look towards the future!" and "Move on!"
2) Those that don't know what to say, so they just ignore you and hope that by the time they connect back with you after several months and years, you'll be perfectly fine again. They're the ones that don't know how to do the healing, so they simply ask "How are you?" every time they see you, hoping that they will finally hear "good" from you.
3) Those that don't know what to say, so they start talking about how good their life is and obviously try too hard to make the mood light and happy, which ends up doing the opposite effect.
4) The bear. The ones that simply listen and say, "That is traumatic." and "It's okay to cry."

[laurenyoung]

The last few words, "rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection." Brilliant.

[orlaspring]

Sympathy by well-meaning friends after my mom died young: "I'm sorry about your mom. At least she's not in pain anymore." Empathy: "I don't even know what to say. I can't imagine what you're feeling but I'm here for you." The person who empathized would show up out of the blue and take me to eat, knowing that was something I'd forget. She didn't say, "I'm sorry, " but she gave me far more than anyone who did.

[LadyGameLyric]

Never has a 3 minute animation short explained things so perfectly.

[Revsusu]

So true! I remember in the hospital many years ago with a badly crushed and mangled leg, doctors saying they may have to amputate....ugh, I was in shock and a lot of pain. Many friends and family came to visit. To me, in the state of shock and horror at the thought, their words, meant well, but felt empty.The only person whose words felt real and empathetic was my youngest son (at the time, in his early twenties), who held my hand and simply said, "I know how you feel." And I instinctively knew he knew.
Not at the time, but some time later, I realized why his words were empathetic. He, too, had had the experience of shattered bones earlier in his life through an accident. He had 'felt' the feelings and the pain. He knew! I was and am so grateful for his words. They truly gave me hope.
I healed (as did he) and we both are just fine. The experience, for me, drew me closer to him. It was inclusion, rather than exclusion. During the experience, the space between us lessened, we drew closer together. I have always remembered that moment and been very grateful for him being there with me at that time.

[susiehughes]

"Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection." Wow. This is fantastic.

[davidi.ezekiel]

- Take the perspective of the other person.
- Staying out of judgement
- Recognize emotion in others and communicate it with them.
- Feeling with people

So many lessons in this video. How quickly we judge others. We all need to relearn how we connect.

[priyankasalelkar]

"One of the things we do sometimes, in the face of very difficult conversations, is we try to make things better."

[UniversalPotentate]

So asking "What do I say at a funeral?" is the WRONG question to ask.
The correct question is "How do I connect with the grieving?"
Well, that's solved one of the biggest conundrums I've had for a while. Thanks!

[AnthonyQueen]

Sympathy = "I see your pain". Empathy = "I feel your pain"

[GrandpaandGrandmaOwen]

All people want is to be validated in what is going on in their life and to be loved. So, this video is perfect to teach the connection part of a relationship. Don't try to fix it, just find it in your heart to love them.

[autumnreneamckeivier]

I was assigned to watch this video for a discussion board assignment in my social work course. I cannot get over how calming Dr. Browns voice is.

[zuby]

The reality is…we need both. It’s not a good idea to paint one as bad and the other as good. Sympathy involves compassion and a desire to help and aliviate suffering. (the world needs this) Sympathy and Empathy are not mutually exclusive of each other. 
with that…great lesson.