Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson Interview

Receive our free 12-part video series with Dr. Gibson - Emotionally Immature Parents Explained:

Take the Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents Intensive Course:

Join the community:

Follow Academy of Self Help co-founder Will on Substack:

[Theacademyofselfhelp]

Receive Dr. Gibson's brand new 12-part series on Emotionally Immature Parents absolutely free:

[willowwallowstarot]

I went through the breakthrough right before I became pregnant and came out of a very dark place after facing my mother with my trauma. She did not react well at all (raged and denied), brushed it under the rug, but because of the breakthrough, I was able to accept the nature of our relationship and completely transform my self-worth and confidence that i always struggled with. Now, my mother claims being pregnant has helped me so much, when it has actually been the deep inner work of acceptance, moving away from my mother's expectations of my identity and moving away emotionally, and radically loving myself and nurturing my inner child. She would never see that, but that is okay with me now. ❤️

[dawnflores]

You are so right I have always worried more about my mom‘s feelings than my own until I broke through that and realize that guess what I mattered too!!

[mindovermatter]

Like you said, we always knew something was off. Until I was finally validated by watching these videos, I thought it must've been something wrong with me. I was constantly "fixing" myself for them - turns out I was people pleasing. I was completely surrounded by emotionally immature people, from family to friends to toxic work environments. Since I cut ties with them and recognize the signs, I am surrounded by healthy people and have an amazing job. It's surreal how my life has completely changed.

[lisawanderess]

My therapist recommended I read this book after I told her about the frustrating elements of dealing with my mother that I so struggled with (but that she and everyone else seemed oblivious to) and it was such an epiphany to read! I'd tried to establish contact again recently after years of no contact with my mother but once I'd learned to see the red flags from reading this book, I was very quickly able to establish how toxic she is in my life and how destabilising to my own mental health...I started feeling "crazy" again. That's it I'm done! I like me so much better without her in my life!

[bohemianslouch]

you’ve described my parents to a T. both so immature and awful parents. this both hurts so much and is healing. it’s not my fault that my mother can’t love me correctly or empathize with anything i go through, it never was my fault. still hurts not having relationships with either of my parents, but oh well.

[dottydavis]

My dad's reaction to me calling him out on his lack of emotional support was to hang up the phone.

Honestly, I've been chasing after my dad since I was a child, and he has never really cared unless he was in the mood. I call him opt put dad.

Something is uncomfortable, "opt out"

Something is too hard for him but, it's not about him, "opt out"

[Kelpy]

As you were explaining the theory of emotionally immature parents who have violent tantrums, you were describing my entire early life, and I almost had a panic attack; I could feel the urge to start crying controllably. My father – hair-trigger anger followed by violent abuse. Me – broken bones, hospitalizations, concussions, dislocated arms, injuries to my back, neck from the ages of 2-20. My dear pet dog Sandy starved to death, then I was admitted to hospital for malnutrition, “a normal childhood disease.” Threats of being killed. My parents – sabotaging, lying, jealous, critical, distant, unavailable, bizarre. Me – developmentally retarded and malformed, autistic, dyslexic, socially awkward though ambitious, self-hating. Now I am thankfully able to meet most of my material needs, but am struggling against deeply patterned self-destructive disorders. I had blindness, almost amnesia to the abuse until I was almost 60. I am not who I would have been, and I cry for the me I might have been, who I will never know. Thank you for your excellent videos, thank you so much. You described the situation perfectly. I have been journaling about this for many years, and I have two degrees in political science. There is a bigger story here, it wasn’t just my father, it was the culture, his being an officer, and Chaplain to the New England Patriots, ….The Great Santini (1979), mine is a shared story. Many suffer from this.

[martanieradka]

Such parents are liars and will not be there for you when you need their support when you need their hug in the middle of a breakdown, they will say things like, oh don’t be such a cry baby or belittle your problem! Absolutely awful

[manifestingmaren]

“Breakdown before breakthroughs “ 😭😭😭🎯🎯🎯

[Star-djkw]

❤ 33:42 her answer here is SPOT ON!! I lived with an emotionally immature spouse. When it came to criticism- his ego was fragile as fine china. He on the other hand, could dish it out 24/7 ☹️.

[WeekendMuse]

One of the best interviews of Dr Gibson about her book on YouTube. The host did a fantastic job asking questions and let her talk without interruption. He also refrained from inserting his own stories like other hosts have the irritating tendency doing. Look forward to the next interview.

[annak]

This woman is a gift to all of us wading through life suspecting that all is not well, yet perpetually blaming ourselves for that feeling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dr Gibson. You are a gem!

[velvetbees]

The boook and workbook changed my life. I stopped trying to figure out why one of my parents was awful, which was an endless pursuit, and learned they were e emotionally immature Thank heavens for this book!

[amberfuchs]

Great interview overall.

I find it's not worth the time, energy, or effort to try and get through to emotionally immature people. It's not my job to parent my parents. What she describes around the 36min mark is being patient and calming them down and repeating yourself as they try to twist it. That's what my abuse/neglect *is* - having to parent my parent. And the suggestion to get through to them is to continue parenting them, which just repeats the dysfunctional dynamic I had to endure growing up. It's like if you want a relationship with your emotionally immature parent, just be their parent. That seems messed up to me. I think it's better to cut your losses. Why waste your valuable time, energy, and effort on people that just aren't worth it. I'd much rather focus that energy towards myself and build my own future bc at least that is within my control.

[tinydanceryoutube]

Made me feel so sad. Neither my mom or dad showed any love, concern, care, hugs, engaged me in conversation. If they did have to interact, shes right, I could literally see the pain and discomfort in their eyes and face. Whether it was because they just didnt know how to relate. They were escaping with alcohol, or shopping and didn't even know they were emotionally and physically neglectful.
Been sad my whole life. Never felt love.

[dawnflores]

OK so it’s been a while since this broadcasted but however, when I was raising my kids, the most important thing was emotional intelligence. This included making iContact with people you encountered throughout your day.
Also, this included being respectful, but also being compassionate and kind with anyone that you encounter throughout your day, regardless of an agreement.

[manifestingmaren]

I googled signs of emotionally immature parents and both of my parents are but omg every single one was my father to a T
And I’m so much like him 😢

Thank you for putting this out for free ❤

[Rachopin]

It can be really difficult to be a partner of a person who grew up with really emotionally immature and also enmeshed parents. It’s really hard for me to not feel kind of resentful or hold onto a lot of anger. It can feel like I am the bad person for not going along with things or maintaining boundaries, and it can be really hard to sort through what is and isn’t my partners responsibility in managing this. It can feel like I’m the main one working to learn about these dynamics and help get through them, while everyone else is fighting me and lashing out. It feels like every time we establish ourselves as adults or have our own milestones, they end up spoiled by my partners parents throwing tantrums or characterizing us as selfish, vain, etc.

[CB]

I just listened to the book on audible. I have to say you've hit the nail on the head with that one. A very compassionate way to process deep childhood trauma. Time to reflect on our own wounds but also more compassionate, yet validating views on our parents. I'd been struggling with rage towards my mother, her cruel emotional neglect, but now I feel I have more insight and more skills in order to forgive her, let go of the fantasy of emotional intimacy and transition into adulthood fully. Also, very well done on veering us away from victimhood and narcissistic witch hunting! Emotionally immature is much easier to process 🙏