ADHD & Autism Late Diagnosis Consequences #autism #adhd

[sugarwoofle]

This is 100% so true. It's not even from bullying we get gaslit by family and physicians and educators as well. We get to a point where we feel we don't belong on this planet and people who are never diagnosed go down a dark path. My friend was Autistic like myself but they ended their life due to never feeling like that can be "normal" enough to survive on their own. We need to do more for neurodivergents.

[klownivore]

Mine stems from the reasoning that my own wants and needs were both unreasonable and unrealistic and that everyone else around me was simply more grounded in reality to they obviously had more important wants and needs because they were a "correct person"

[meganrausch]

I grew up learning that I'm annoying. I've now masked away my muchness, I've watered myself down

[EsmereldaPea]

"We become hypervigilant to other people's responses to us qnd try really hard to make those favorable. "

Summed up my first 60 years in a nutshell!

[Huh]

One of my big consequences is the terrible mental health I was left to deal with after spending my entire life not knowing what was “wrong “ with me and I use to literally wish out loud to be “normal” like neurotypicals. I’m still working on myself but I’m much happier after finding out I’m autistic

[NotACupcake]

Got diagnosed with ADHD at 27. People pleasing has become an absolute survival mechanism. If people don’t like you for who you are, you end up alone, unemployed, and unappreciated.

All of which are traumatic. This only happens if you don’t know what is “wrong” with you and therefore you have no skills or tricks to navigate the world. Ever since I got my ADHD diagnosis i’ve learned how to better function, i’m unmedicated and i’m finally having the self-awareness to see why im failing at the most basic tasks when my entire life I was gaslit into thinking that I was just lazy.

Absolutely, please get your children screened if you believe they may have Autism or ADHD…you’ll be doing them and yourself a favor by learning together. 🙏

[libbybeliveau]

I've been told I'm "too fusy, " I "have issues, " and "no one likes me, " and as it turns out, I'm neuro-atypical. Those close to me have said all of the things in this vid. I'm in my 30's and I'm finally discovering why I am the way I am. Unfortunately, my family doesn't recognize, or support any of this. They've all just given up, and don't include me. I'm ok with this, and I feel I'm better off w/o all of them. 💁‍♀️

[lonny]

I have acquired long term burnout (3+ years now) from my late diagnosis. Decades of ignoring my own needs put me in a dark hole.

[sarahaltizer]

Omg yassss. I walk away from every interaction thinking “They think your crazy, what an idiot, why didn’t I keep my mouth shut, why did I ask that/say that, this is why I have no friends…” for at least a couple hours after 🤦🏻‍♀️

[janinebean]

Honestly when you’ve been gaslit your whole life by people who are supposed to care about you, being gaslit by someone who is supposed to care about you does not feel like something new.

[tris]

I've been working on my compulsive people-pleasing for the last couple of years. Something I've learned is that I never feel good about saying no or reinforcing my boundaries, even though I know it's necessary for my well-being. I always feel shitty about it, but I do it anyway. It doesn't have to feel good to be the right choice, and letting people know my needs and limitations is a kindness to both of us.

[somebodycooliguess]

If you struggle to work out what behaviour is unacceptable, you may be slow to realise or act when somebody is treating you unacceptably

[kylaallen]

Diagnosed at 62. It explains so much but I wish I knew sooner!

[Janaely]

That's me, except I *did* know I didn't deserve to be bullied by so many people, and their behaviour wasn't my fault. I frequently just didn't know how to make those feelings into words and sentences. Sometimes I didn't even consider that telling an(other) adult, or saying stop, no, or get bent wankface were options.

[christypriest]

I’m 59 and just found out so I completely understand exactly what you’re talking about

[ThomCurley]

That’s been so so true of my late diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Thank you for sharing. Spot on in my case.

[thetwistedhippie]

If i hadn't diapnosed myself as nuerodivergent at 17, i wouldve become someone completely different and im not sure that person wouldve been very healthy or successful. Ive had so many people and doctors just assume i have depression or bipolar or whatever else. I know im not always mentally stable but i feel like im self aware enough to understand when what im doing is normal or not and lets just say im just not typical person but i can definitely be perceived as typical when Im upset and talking about my frustrations and my reasoning for my frustrations. However, for years i fidnt realize that i was the one letting negative things happen to me through people pleasing and similar behavior. Now im no longer a victim and i have a better understanding of myself. I just wish more doctors actually took the time and consideration to want to understand an individual in order to solve their problems and find real solutions. Now i understand that masking plays a role in the confusion. Which is why i feel like doctors need to consider what a patient is saying they think the diagnosis could be and listen to the reasoning. Its not just with therapy. Like thing about people with physical health issues that go unresolved because the medical feild wants to assume they know more than you. Ive had to inform doctors and nurses of things that theyve never even heard of before. And its surprising when they actually listen. Now im not trying to say anything bad about the medical feild in america, im just saying that we ALL need to start listening and being more curious about whats going on and whats really hurting other people so we can communicate and find a solution that genuinely helps

[megzasaurusrex]

I've also always felt guilty for my meltdowns and how the impact others. And i gaslight myself into thinking I was a horrible person who deserves nothing from others because I'm ruining everyone else's lives.

[anniestumpy]

I completely agree with the first part! I'm one of those autistics who turned into a people pleaser. Took me long enough to learn that in the long run this is unauthentic and totally detrimental to my own mental health.
I try reminding myself daily not to keep falling into this old pattern but it happens so easily after 40 years of practice 😅😢

There's always the danger of going too far too (being assertive/not too agreeable without hurting other people), so it's really a learning curve to get that balanced.

[thestrangepart]

Tbh I was like they are kids as a child and decided since I didn't think there was anything wrong with me and no one else tried to interact with me I stopped caring it's the school trauma for me like family was fine but school I ended up burnt out in high school and stopped trying to make friends I thought I knew what was "wrong" and didn't think it should be late autism diagnosis but ADHD from a young age I stopped trying to reach out found some other kids that would hang with me at lunch and walk to class with me if they could reaching out was what exasperated the bullying for me in highschool I got decent people and got rid of a bad friendship I stopped caring and when I stopped the ADHD meds that were screwing me over i stopped having 9/10 of my mental problems now its just oversensitivety and like physical problems