Imposter syndrome as a late diagnosed Autistic & difficulties living with others

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[ladonnabby]

Finding a community of late diagnosed women online, esp poc, has validated so much of my autistic experiences. I relate to average of 70-90% of what autistic adults share on platforms like YouTube. Yet I still struggle with imposter syndrome and gaslight myself thinking it’s a societal trap and in 10 years professionals are going to say “Sike! We tricked you into thinking your autistic when really all those traits are just you being a terrible human who can’t get it together” 😭

[SD-rmty]

As a highly sensitive INFJ I find it necessary to door slam people that intentionally criticize me, it's one thing to constructively criticize and another to be flat out ignorant or abusive. I'm in full support of blocking that person, don't take it personally you are a queen 👑! ❤

[celine]

I was diagnosed early and it makes me furious when people dismiss late-diagnosed people as not real autistics. If they attack you I don't think you need to allow them to be here. I don't know whether or not they are autistic themselves but if they are they are clearly expressing an insecurity with themselves if they go after you. They may feel like they want to keep the autism label for themselves but that does not change the fact that people who were diagnosed later in life can still objectively speaking be autistic. I don't think I've ever come across someone who claimed to be autistic who was faking, it seems like a non-issue to me. Being openly autistic does not exactly raise one's social status in this society.

[CH-skjr]

*Thank you* for blocking those ignorant comments to preserve a place of peace for this community. It means the world to those of us who already struggle with such rampant imposter syndrome.

You are a good person, so it makes sense that you feel empathy towards the people you have to block, but please don’t beat yourself up for it — they aren’t people who are coming here to be challenged in their views or to learn. They aren’t saying, “wait, I didn’t realize this was something people experienced! I’m excited to learn more and am subscribing now.” Instead, they are spending their time silencing you, denying reality, and both mocking and abusing vulnerable people. Blocking this sort of cruel person (often a troll) is a way to defend your audience and show them care — ultimately, you are being empathetic through that action, not unempathetic or unfeeling. You’re assuming that your own kindness, open mindedness, and generosity towards others is also true of the people who have come here to do harm — your approach to the situation is an affirmation of your own good character, but it does not reflect something true about these people. You do not need to beat yourself up for wishing the world was willing to be kind; you do not need to beat yourself up for protecting the people in your community when that kindness is rejected.

(Also, I am looking forward to advice on how to set up your home to support mental health and sensory needs! Those will be so, so helpful.)

[drasco]

You discussing others disrupting your routine is so validating, it always makes me feel like this rude horrible person but sometimes it really does help me stay focused to be listening to something and it's so so disruptive when I have to pause it every two minutes because someone wants to talk to me and it zaps my energy and I end up not finishing. It's like they cannot comprehend what I'm going through...

[thethoughtspot]

I am indeed wearing my seatbelt, don’t worry. Sometimes I just put the top strap behind me because it’s a sensory struggle for me.

[ramblepie]

It's easy to say but it really doesn't matter what those people think. They're not privy to the information you have on your diagnosis or anything else in your life. They're just seeing someone talk clearly and eloquently about their experience. Whenever someone questions whether or not I'm autistic, I just think it's because I've become such a good actor over years of trying to adapt to society. Thanks for being so honest❤

[ghostreyn]

I am also non-verbal in the mornings, i use to live with 7 room mates in a 3 bed house. It was so frusterating trying to get my morning routine done while working around all the people i lived with at that time. They thought i was just angry every morning 😅

[kloovers]

I also have imposter syndrome as several of my autism symptoms are considered "mild" and thus made me deny that I could possibly need accomodations or that I needed help. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person that struggles with it. Keep doing what you do Irene!

[TheRainbowBlob]

Before my psych suggested an assessment, I had no idea that I might have autism. Now I'm looking back at the time a couple years ago when I said something like "I have imposter syndrome, but just with being alive in general" and nobody took me seriously, but I was absolutely being serious 😂

[XDominiqueXFranconX]

I’m 37 and recently diagnosed officially, though I’d suspected autism and/or ADHD for about a year after taking several online tests. Oh boy…the “coming out” process has been interesting. My mom was very accepting, which actually surprised and relieved me. My sister, too. She’d suspected for years, but had been afraid that suggesting it would offend me. (And who knows - I may have not been open to hearing it back then.) My dad, who’s probably autistic, too, thought I needed even more testing. (He’s also a retired special ed teacher who’s more used to the young boy presentations.) 🙄

I have also tested unmasking with certain clients. I’ve had one this week who was very supportive because he himself is ND after receiving a traumatic skull and brain injury, and his wife is deaf. They work with other disabled people.

But then, I’ve had people lecture me about how the diagnosis might hold me back, I’m too smart, “We’re all a little autistic, ” etc. One lady said that vaccines cause autism, and went on to describe a child she knew of who was clearly vaccine injured, but the symptoms were not at all the same as what I experience! They sounded more DD honestly. Then she offered to get some woo healer involved with me to “cure” me of my autism. 🙄

Anyway, on top of having a grandma who might pass away soon and a whole host of other factors, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed, sad, and alone lately.

[crowkinghart]

No, please block those who are spreading hate and ignorance, allowing comments like that to stay only entices others to do so as well. Please do not feel guilty for creating a better environment for yourself and viewers.

[Born_Banjaxed]

Adult-diagnosed (She/her): since learning about my autism there are some days I feel a lot of self-resentment for forming these masks which make it difficult for people to accept my truth when I disclose or believe my struggles and shortcomings. I try to remind myself that my mask is not something I consciously made and it is not worthless, sometimes it has let me protect myself and I appreciate that aspect of it. I struggle with the duality of it.

[paigevermeulen]

I just found your channel yesterday and I’ve probably watched 10 of your videos already, I enjoy and learn from all of them. To answer your question at the end, I think that’s definitely a tricky situation and there is no black and white answer. I think it’s definitely a balance that can be maintained. Going forward, I think it might be helpful for you to realize that if you do make the decision to block someone, you are taking a step that is not only protecting yourself but also other people (like me) scrolling through your comment section, who will be hurt just as much by comments that are intended to invalidate our experiences. Hope that helps, you’re amazing, keep doing you!

[ona]

I feel you. I get like paralysed and cant do anything productive when my roommates or anybody else is being loud. using noise cancelling headphones all the time is exhausting too

[ibekx]

"I do not want to muster up the spoons to..." is gonna be my new go to phrase. 😂 🙏🏽 ❤

[sheashells]

That comment dilemma is so tricky. But I feel like we shouldn't have to cater to the haters. One mute doesn't silence them completely. It means their behavior won't be tolerated in this one space in a sea of many, many online spaces.
I find that few people who disagree with you actually want to debate the subject. Or have a real discussion. Or even listen. Most want a quick ego boost where antagonizing makes them feel superior for a few minutes. They're not thinking about you nearly as much as we think about them

[FareweII]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You’re validating so many people’s experience right now. ♥️

[emj]

Irene let me tell you something.
I came across your channel a month or two ago.
I love everything you put on here.
I have a family member whose autistic and you have taught me so much about it.
You speak perfectly, you speak beautifully.
Whether it's hard for you to do that or whether it comes natural what's coming out is that you speak beautifully.
No one else has to understand your autism, how you got it why you got it, where you got it.
you know you have it! that's all that matters!
Your content is fantastic and very helpful anybody who gives you a hard time can just go somewhere else.
how's that?
you are rocking it just keep your great content coming please

[MySkillfulmeans]

"...carrying the density within them instead of transmuting it." Beautifully expressed. 💖