Is Your Family of Origin Still Inside You? - Live Q&A

HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[nancybartley]

Children of emotionally neglectful parents are aware (unconsciously) at a deep level that their parents are in great pain. We become desperate to save them, to heal them. We know something is very wrong and causing great pain and destruction. We take on a burden that no child should ever have to take on. When we can't fix/save our parents, we become overwhelmed with guilt and do not know how to stop the guilt that is crippling our ability to live our own lives. At the same time the parent or parents are still struggling. As a child ages they and their parent enter a different phase of their relationship. The damage goes on into adulthood but is different from the damage done during childhood. Or maybe it is that for the first time the adult child sees/experiences their parents' illness in a way that is more impactful. That begin to realize consciously that the parent is in pain and punishing everyone else for that pain. As a child you needed your parent to exist and you didn't have the mental capacity to separate yourself from their pain. You had to accept it in order to survive. As an adult, you no longer need a parent to exist. But they are your parents and you love them and don't want to abandon them. Yet when you are with them you are abused, put down, ignored, denigrated. Some of us then go no contact. We are protecting ourselves but at great cost. We have not understood our childhood. We run away and think that will solve our problem. If you never understood what was wrong about your childhood, guilt will raise its ugly head again. The family of origin is in you. How do you free yourself from the guilt of failing your parents?

[kareemmohammed]

this was very difficult internally again to hear and i kept rewinding parts of this video to internalise and make sense of it because i know it resonates with me even though its hard work to understand and absorb your insights all at once. much appreciated as always Jerry.

[sy]

Thank you for the free YouTube video. We are fortunate to have the access in this generation to have these video to educate us & guide us. This is unlike our parents/ grandparents who many of those did not have an access to even be informed about this. In their generation it is also possible it was overwhelmed to raise multiple kids… I think our parents/grandparents are resilient to make it through with not much resources..❤️

[Angelasmith]

I just found your Channel today and I'm so glad. I've been studying attachment theory for years and I'm beginning my master's program for counseling next month. I want to specialize in attachment. Have you ever heard of Alan robarge? He's got a YouTube channel too and you remind me a lot of him. You guys think about things in a very unique and concise way. I'm going through some of your playlists now and they're awesome. Learning a lot and really intrigued by the concept of systems feelings- it reminds me of something else I learned about recently: Alderian psychology.

[triciadean]

🙏all good stuff. An excellent video to come back to time and again 🙏

[christinerobertson]

hello there!!-yes your videos are spot on for my relationships in every direction- Thank You!

[marywalker]

Thank you Jerry your videos are great and has helped me lots 😁👍💓💞😘

[rochellecaffee]

Jerry, I have 2 or 3 different relationships in my life: I have a relationship with the invisible Protestant Christian Church, a relationship with my family of origin, I have a relationship with political or government in America. I see my responsibility differently in each one. Now, I have noticed that the general population is very entwined with each of these and don’t understand the separate goals or boundaries of each, healthy and/or unhealthy. Does this make me psychotic or schizophrenic?

[meenakumar]

My family of origin was awesome its the current one thats a problem 😀

[randomname]

Do you have any suggestions on how to react when my Mother publicly shames me. The last time we were sitting around the dinner table with extended family. She randomly told everyone that when I was a teenager (I am 36 so almost 20 years ago) I borrowed a lingerie set her partner gave her. They joined in on shaming me. A few people told me, 'that's disgusting'. I just sat there quietly and ate my dinner.

[rochellecaffee]

Christian “maturity “ or Biblical “maturity “ is different from maturity in a family or within the pagan culture or government. The learning is different and the goals are more important to the Christian.

[MinkaLovesPineapples]

Thank you for the fantastic videos Jerry. Do you think it is possible to live near or within the same city as your enmeshed family?

[sadie]

Why is it that some children can grow up in complete dysfunction and neglect and still turn out great?