Narcissistic Family: Signs You're Escaping the SCAPEGOAT ROLE

Learn to recognize the signs that you're moving away from the painful 'scapegoat' role and getting it out of you.

HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[artandculture]

I never want to see any of them again.

[lisarochwarg]

Leave and let the family turn on each other, which they definitely will do.

[tgifriday]

Family member asked me why i changed. After i told my reasons and feelings, she answered i should not plant anger and that they were just little things. It’s so disturbing how toxic family arent even aware of what they are doing.

[celmer]

After 45 years of dealing with being Scapegoated I've come to realize that they have made their decisions and are not going to change. So I've gone No Contact and disowned them. I finally chose myself and my Healing Journey.

[MysteryGrey]

I am not who they say I am! They don't even know me.

[stacyrect]

I no longer sit at tables where I might be the topic when I get up.”

[victoriao]

After about 55 years of being the scapegoat I went no contact several years ago. 5 years into no contact, I woke up this morning and it hit me that I no longer have to explain myself to them, or defend my choices. It's a good feeling 😊

[cindybriden]

What I hate is that the family feel they have to warn others about me. They have even turned my nieces and nephew against me and/or convinced them there is something mentally wrong with me. I do realize that they do this so if I should talk about what goes on in the family, and the truth about me, no one will believe it. Still hurts sometimes thinking of it. Anyway, thank you so much for the video!! So healing!

[daleg]

Super quick for those of you with no time today:

1. I think about it less. I'm triggered less. It's just not as important. I am gaining distance from the family or of the role of scapegoat.
2. I feel more normal. I can see more of the family distortion, gaslighting and scapegoating behavior. I know their depiction of me isn't true.
3. I am criticizing my family less. I am no longer so obsessed with their behavior toward me.
4. I can see that my family members are caught in their own distortions. Scapegoating me is a part of the dysfunctional system that they grew up in or became a part of. It is, therefore, less personal to me.
5.I understand that their emotional processing has to undergo a deep (probably unlikely) conversion before the scapegoating narrative (lies) will change.
6. I have facts others do not know and I don't feel defensive about people's view of me or their support of the scapegoating system I have been the subject of.
7. I see scapegoating as a role I was expected to play. It is not who I truly am. I'm starting to be bad at playing this role.

Great video. Save it for later!
Thank you Jerry.

[amberinthemist]

Yep. I just don't care to talk to people who talk down to me and make me feel badly. They say it's my fault but I'm perfectly capable of maintaining mutually beneficial relationships with other people. So I just have to cut ties with them. They can think whatever they want about me, that's not my business.

[robiness]

Escaped months ago, blocked and disappeared from their evil lives! Never felt more at peace ✌🏻

[artandculture]

If you are creative and they aren’t, they go whole hog against you.

[mellaniecooper]

My sister and I were scapegoated and my sister killed herself because of it. I miss her everyday. I have a wonderful family now my husband and my kids. They love me and they don’t think I’m bad. I got to believe them and appreciate them and spend my energy on them. They need me and want me. I don’t really care about my mom and dad anymore.

[mikalyonsoneal]

The very definition of family first in line to screw you over and I am done dealing with the toxicity. We are better off alone.

[doreenr.]

It’s disturbing watching ppl b fake nice to outsiders while behind closed doors their destroying lives

[t.h.nguyen]

I was gaslighted by my parents. They even brainwashed my siblings that I was a rebel. One sibling declared in front of my daughter and a relative that I was a rebel against a family. My siblings fell for it. I used to be anxious every time I visited them. I finally was able to understand that I had anxiety. I was disowned for speaking up about the unfairness. As an Asian woman, I was out of the norm. Asian women are taught to be subservient and obedient! I believe in unconditional love, and fairness as a child! Everyone else was afraid of speaking up even though they were all adults. I lost myself. I finally realized that I was right all along that I have a dysfunctional family and why I always feel less than. I am working on breaking free from that label. I realize now it is all societal beliefs and conditioning especially in Asian cultures. My parents were probably raised that way and didn't know any better. I felt for them. I learn to forgive and let go because keeping these negative emotions have harmed me and attracted similar circumstances. Yes, it was painful but it is now in the past! I am learning to be more compassionate! I invest a lot of money in neurofeedback to retrain my brain so I can relax. I wish peace and love to all on this journey of awakening!

[LimitlessThinker]

You nailed it! I was the skapegoat and my sister was the golden child. I have been no contact for about 10 years. I got several messages from her recently, bringing up the same script from when I was a teenager.
I am in my 60s and my sister is 2 years younger.
The messages were so incoherent and disturbing. I played those messages to my therapist and she found it was shocking ramblings, as well. Our family was a classic example.

[LR-yumx]

Fortunately I realised the craziness and cut them off from my life for many years. Also I am a Christian, and in God's eyes we are all equal. I believe narcs are distorted and wolves in sheep'sclothing.

[nareshkumar]

The worst part is my family is manipulating me 🤡