Narcissistic Family: When They Live Rent Free In Your Head

In this video, I talk about how your narcissistic parents live rent-free in your head and occupy your mind and peace.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[pinkroses]

This really highlights how narcissistic family is like a cult

[jeffreyjackson]

"She never was and never will be the mother that you needed."

[maIwaldron]

When you live with Narc parents, you learn to survive.. not thrive.

[jds]

I have said this before, and i will say it again. I am 59 years old and only in the last three months or so did I finally realized what damage my narcissistic mother caused me as a child and as an adult. She has always wanted me to be an ignorant little boy that she can easily manipulate and control. Even though she likes to say "I love you with all of my heart", the only love I have ever felt from her has been a superficial love based on her being happy, praised and in control. Sad to say my two older sisters had it worse. No love, no affection, no pride in accomplishments.

[sallyvilleza]

"I am not them, they are not me"

[CherylSmith-vk]

The horrible memories won’t go away though. They play like a movie in my head all the time.

[ErickSande-hbkd]

I wish I watched this video like 25 years ago. I wouldn't have lost so much time trying to make my parents happy without success

[josiah]

Both my parents were narcissists. Father grandiose, and mother covert. Overall, my mother held the most power. When I finally questioned and resisted her programming, she turned the entire extended family of 50+ people against me. I cut myself off from all of them and moved far away without letting anyone know where I went. It was worth it.

[allisonharranmua]

My mother always said "a mother's love is unconditional" but there were always conditions. Her love was transactional. She only gave it to me when I deserved a reward.

[projectacuhope]

Sometimes parents fail to realize that their children grew up and had to contend with a very different world from the ones they grew up in, and the rules and survival strategies from the era they grew up in simply don't work in the era the children grew up in.

[Gemmarose]

It took soooo long to stop rumination and I still catch myself doing it once in a while . It took a lot of therapy but it got less as my “self” got bigger. I started to differentiate between them and me and saw how far removed they are from who I am. They don’t know me, never did, and they are not people I like or care to know. I reject all that they represent and all that comes from them. Their “voices” have become foreign invaders instead of part of me and I am able to recognize and boot them now. Progress, I’m on my way!

[sandrab]

They will not change, so arguing or even defending your position is pointless. The most hurtful thing to me is how they turned other family members against me. It's surprising how easily some people (cousins, aunts, uncles) are brain-washed. Family members that I used to be very fond of will no longer talk to me. Going "no contact" with parents means you also forfeit your extended family.

[Silver-_-Crow]

Please make a twenty minutes episode about financial abuse in a narcissistic home.

[mahoganyshanae]

My golden child sister use to say what if momma die...I told her don't put that on me. I said we all got to die one day. She said this cause I been no contact for 3 year's.. She wants me to go back for they can finish me.. But I'm not going back.. I found peace and joy something.. I never had in my life until I walked away..

[graveyardghost]

I decided not to attend family holiday gatherings last year. I did other things more important to me. I couldn't decide if I should feel guilty or not, but I'm just going to keep doing my own thing and not feel like I'm doing something wrong. After years of my stepmom trying to guilt trip me, I finally did it my way, and I had great holidays! Thx Dr. Wise ❤

[spiral]

I wish I had heard this 40 years ago! Would’ve saved thousands of dollars in psychotherapy. 29 years to be exact! Not once did my therapist have wise words of wisdom like this! He strung me along. This would’ve been super helpful! Thank you!🙏🏽

[dianeplescia]

Mother - Narcissist; Father- Enabled mother just to shut her up

[bettyluu]

My new mantra: “I am not them, they are not me.”

[fidellerosa]

this is magnified tenfold in Asian families like mine. my culture not only endorses it, it runs and feeds on it.