The NARCISSIST never takes responsibility! | Why are problems never solved with the narcissist?

Have you ever noticed the narcissist never takes responsibility for their actions? They will do something wrong in front of you, or you have proof of something they did, and they still will not take responsibility. The will engage in blame shifting, gaslighting, and projection in attempts to keep the focus off of them and onto you. Problems never seem solved and you go around and around until you just give up. Why are problems never solved with the narcissist? The reason is because it has to be all about what is best for the narcissist and those with narcissism. For people with narcisissitic personality disorder, they cannot accept blame because of their unstable sense of self. In an attempt at self-preservation they will put the blame on you for everything so they have to deal with nothing. Narcissists in relationships and narcissistic parents can be very difficult and toxic because it is always about you and never about them. Through the narcissist punishment tactics, narcissists can keep control.

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[DrEmilyMayfield]

"Narcissists are masters at the game of manipulation and control.  This is a skill they have perfected throughout their life to manage the deep feelings of being flawed they experience in themselves."

[mumsie]

The worst thing is the confusion 😭 confronting them is the worst ever. Especially when I end up losing my shit because he's literally driving me crazy. People just don't understand if they haven't been with one

[angelwings]

Narcissist’s victims have rage too but that’s from being driven crazy.

[lamonthicks]

The minuplation and exuse making is unbelievable.
Narrisst can rationalize everything and accept accountability for nothing and it just goes on and on.
Its sick

[obiholyoliver]

Yep that's the reason why I had to cut my narcissist friend off nothing but circular conversations that was going nowhere when I asked conversation that's dealing with facts all of a sudden a shift nothing but circles

[redfullmoon]

I needed this. I was being told "my trauma issues" were because of everything else but when I brought up that it was his own actions (stonewalling, abandoning then coming back, mocking at what I say) that contributed to escalating it, he then goes "so you're saying it's all my fault again!" Then put the focus back on themselves by saying how I affect them. I asked them what I did wrong so I can take note on changing my behavior in the future, but also explain it does not change the fact that there were behaviors toward me I don't want to be subjected to. Then they just shut down the entire convo.
There's really no point, they refuse to see their own actions. They just want to push their behavior under the rug and pretend everything is fine.

[frannycaulfield]

Excellent clarification. Thank you. When my narc wrote me a long dissertation on why everything single thing was my fault while simultaneously telling me I was imagining things they never did, it was just one giant heap of deflection, gaslighting, and projection and so absurd I refused to get on the merry go round again. I said thanks for sharing, now we both know where we stand. That was my first attempt at no contact 7 years ago. Rinse and repeat. I’m now no contact for 13 months and because of vids
Ike yours, I think I’m equipped to maintain no contact forever. Thank you.

[kryptonica]

Or they yell like a ragging toddler to shut you down, dominate you, embarrass you, make you cower and victim blaming in a very perverse way.

[ITSRAYANNNN]

He would literally block me until he was ready to talk, so I was cut off from any communication at all and then if I brought it up because I was still upset he would tell me that I’m bringing up the past when it happened that day.

[INFJunpopularopinion]

The worst part about the cycle is that if a less distorted person doesn't protect themselves, they can get caught in the dynamic and begin to in turn act unkindly as the trauma continues. I always find it interesting that the partner with the higher amount of NPD traits will percieve the partner with health bounce back type narcissism levels as the narcisstic one, in the resulting projection from feeling attacked and criticized. Around and around indeed. I'm really glad we're starting to have these topics of conversation; and LOVE that you mention NPD traits and not just the label Narcissist, consistently. People should he aware of concepts like healthy narcissim, and the fact that less than what, 4=7 % of the population are ACTUALLY diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I truly believe people can manage their traits with self awareness, it's just a matter of somehow finding thatconnection, for the lightbulb moment.

[diane]

Recently recognized my husband is a NPD. All of his behaviors over the years have tormented me . I am so sorry I did not realize this many, many years ago. Thanks

[robhulse]

I've been trying to tell my wife for years that some of her behaviors tend to hurt to hurt my feelings or make me unhappy, and she constantly turns it around so it's my fault that I'm upset. Lately she has been telling me "I don't know how to not offend you" when I think I have a pretty thick skin, but she just knows how to dig in deep and press my buttons

[heavyjoechipman]

As a longtime, scapegoated, blacksheep, this is NOT an embellished love-bomb-type statement. You are quite a lovely lady with great explanaition of the narcissists abuse. Their crazy making, mind games. I'm grateful to find your channel. Thank you. God bless you. Subscribed.☺👍

[MostGratefulOwl]

I was listening to this on my google nest mini when he came back around. immediately he agreed with what was said as him being the victim and blaming me again. note to self I need to use my headphones more. it didn't help with his friend being with him either but I did my best not to react and continue what I was doing at the time. this video did help me understand projection better because he was doing just that.

[oregongirl]

Yep he’s completely clean n seems to think I’m trying to fight when I. Fact I’m wanting validation but nooo ... it’ll never happen.. I’m blocking all narcs ... goodbye 👋🏻

[paisleyabbott]

My husband used this video on me. I set boundaries and remove myself when he didn't stop- he blame shifted and accused me I was doing #1. Unreal. Narcissists use these videos on their victims and gaslight them and blame shift it onto them. Its so frustrating-

[heavyjoechipman]

Doctor Mayfield, I always enjoy the content of your videos. As a person who grew up in a narcissistic, toxic, family, I benefit highly from this information. You're a neat, sweet, lady. You're help to those of us who suffer at the hands of these vile creatures is a great gift. Thank you Doctor Mayfield. God bless you and yours.🙏💜☺👍

[OlBlueshound]

I always give your videos a thumbs up because they are so detailed and relayed in an easy to understand way. I finally subscribed too as I am very grateful for the information you provide and how it not only initiated my healing but has given me self confidence and to know that what I experienced for 7 long years was definitely not right and how and why I was so broken. I'm not perfect but I am always reflecting on my part of any relationship to make sure I am being the best I can be. I'm proud of my sense of self now but it took waaay to long to develop that, but I'm on it now. Dr Emily your insight and advice is very much appreciated, you and Dr Ramani have helped me more than you could know, and I'm at peace again finally and enjoying my life again after 7 very hard years with my ex covert narcissist partner. This video is exactly what I experienced in that time with her. To be honest I am amazed how you can describe in such detail how the narcissists mind works. Thanks again and best wishes to you and your followers who need to heal.

[kiera]

I think these narcissist became who they are from the environment they grew up with. I saw my narc ex's family being so dysfunctional. That even when faced with obvious lies and with evidences (from me) from their son, they still believed him regardless. That any bad things he did within his family were all swept under the rug, that no apologies, no accountability were enforced within the family system. They created a monster within their midst. Someone who had no boundaries, no empathy for anyone other than himself. Their family was full of unlimited debt that even when their bread winner (father) retired from work. The debt were still unpaid for. It was that much of a mess.

The every partner their siblings have, are expected to pay for their own living expenses. That when you set boundaries, they will paint you as someone who isn't benevolence. Their facade falls out the minute, they don't receive any monetary supply from me. We aren't even married yet and the amount of pressure to pay for them is surmountable. Its ridiculous really. Their entire family is exhausting, its all nice infront of you but backstabs you when you're gone.

[alecstuart]

Trasparancy makes sense to whom? & why?