Is there virtue in forgiving a narcissist who doesn't apologize?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[theresamorello]

Forgiving the narcissist only teaches them that their bad behaviour has no consequences.

[chizkiyahukabas]

Forgiveness in a healthy relationship is strong, but not in a relationship that is one-sided

[jd]

“I am sorry you feel that way” is the only apology I ever get from my ex narcissist

[battlevain]

Brilliant video. 💯 Agree with her stance. Everybody always asks the abused to build both sides of the bridge of forgiveness. Enough is enough. Abusers don't care and never will. It's time for victims to move on and never look back when encountering such toxic individuals.

[NarcSurvivor]

You will never get a genuine apology from a narcissist, but forgiving yourself is an important part of the healing process.

[mystrugle]

My therapist once said to me, “they don’t want your forgiveness because they’re not sorry”.

[Alize.W]

Giving myself permission to not forgive, has been so freeing.

[stephanie]

When someone calls it "strong" to stay in an abusive environment it makes me SO MAD 😡😡😡

[BuckROCKGROIN]

Give a narcissist an inch, and the narcissist will take a mile. Forgiveness is tolerance and we get the behavior we tolerate, that is why narcissistic behavior should never be forgiven.

[nicoleadiaz]

When you said “waking up every morning feeling not enough and like a imposter, and thinking these thoughts every minute of the day”. That was my aha moment! That is my life in a nutshell and I couldn’t figure out why.

[tkj]

I can confirm from personal experience that forgiving a narcissist equals to allowing the same treatment. They see it as surrender and even mock you for it.

[JournyOfaPeacefulRuller]

Dr. Ramani thank you, we the survivors are lucky to have you support our voice of reasons. In the words of Mr. T "I pity the fool" I don't forgive the narcissist, I pity those fools. I forgive myself for allowing them to violate me over, and over and over and... to say the least, they are con-artists.

Happy healing to all 🙏

[izzylandyt]

Society’s definition of forgiveness is basically enabling toxic behavior and making excuses. It’s why narcissism appears to be so widespread and influential. Mind you whenever I do something wrong, I’m not given the same leniency.

[lynnehaeberle]

Thank you for giving us a voice! 36 years of abuse and he demanded that I forgive him. 36 years of my youth that I will never get back, and that left horrible scars. I cannot say, “That’s OK. It was nothing”. It was my LIFE!

[mapleleaf]

Agree, why forgive someone who doesn't care what they've done. This gave me strength!

[allisondownes]

"You are the sucker that they can keep playing". That is exactly what "forgiving" a narcissist does for you. Thank you so much for this video. You are our greatest advocate, Dr. Ramani! Much love and gratitude!

[katherinetomasello]

There is a difference between forgiveness and trust. I forgave my narcissistic mother, unbeknownst to her, by letting go of the anger, hatred, and rage I held towards her. Forgiveness involves letting go of all those burdens, even in no contact. My mother may never know that I forgave her, but she will know, in my absence, that I will never trust her again.

[jonathankranz]

"We have to stop forgiving people who keep harming us." Amen, amen. Thank you so much for this video! Truth is, forgiveness requires good faith FROM ALL PARTIES involved; a "unilateral" forgiveness isn't real. And narcissist are constitutionally unable to be real because of the enormous investments they've made in their inflated false selves. In my mind, "forgiving" an unrepentant narcissist is like taking a dump on my own soul -- and frankly, I prefer a dump-free soul.

[aparsons]

I love when Dr Ramani gets fired up, it feels like your mom taking up for you ❤

[ReRe_]

If a person does not ask for forgiveness. They don’t deserve it . Forgiven yourself and move on. Great advise Doctor. Thank you.