Blamed by the narcissist for the consequences of their actions

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[KJ-citd]

Narcissists want the authority of a king but the accountability of a toddler. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[inthemoneypost]

A trademark tactic of a narcissist: Their actions put you in a position, then they blame you for being in that position.

[Niles-Guy]

Accountability is something a narcissist doesn’t accept because they would have to take a deep look into the mirror and realize if there’s anyone to blame…it’s them

[cactusrose]

"Maybe the toxic person is going to do the right thing this time". I am totally guilty of having hope thinking things will change. They haven't yet.

[eyrctut]

Their need for revenge, and their need to divert blame is their undoing.

[itm]

It would be nice if, before a medical procedure, the health care facility would ask, "would you like us to set up transportation, or will you be taking care of that?" Before Uber, I had to be creative when finding a ride home for much of my life. When you live with narcissists, you often want to keep your medical care private. Asking for anything will become weaponized.

[LewsTherin]

this is as natural to the narc as breathing and, I would argue, one of the most important tells of a person's mental state

[lindabell]

This really is hard to believe, but it really is true. Complete lack of concern for very critical needs of others.

[StillAwakeAwareDiscerning]

The narcs that were in my life were simply unable to conceive of the possibility that they would make a mistake. They never acknowledged a wrong or said sorry. They want you to swim around in the pool of THEIR reality and leave your own. Don't do this! Run from these people. They don't love you. They don't care about you. And they never change.

[firefly]

Remember, narcissists can't be held accountable. The victim is encouraged to be responsible to protect themselves against future abuses as well as they can. If an alternative transportation without toxic attachments is available, the passenger will be able to choose.

[violad]

Goodness.. literally the last conversation with my abuser. They want zero consequences, I got depression and PTSD because of SA and abuse. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤️

[cindyn]

This reminds me of the time my covert-narcissist mother, who blamed my sister and I (and anyone else she could) for her miserable life, asked my 16-year-old (at the time) sister if she should take our narcissist father back (during one of their many separations). My sister didn’t know but our mother pressed, so sister, who was heavily into a fundamentalist youth group, said something about God hating divorce. My mother seized on that and our father moved back into the house. Upon their next big inevitable blowout our mother blamed my sister for having told her to take him back. Our mother has never taken responsibility for any of her decisions, or lack thereof. She, at nearly 95, is the poster child for covert narcissism! Our brother, just a week or so before his death said, “She brags about her longevity, but it is on the backs of her children.”

[kenkanavos]

DAMN RIGHT! My colonoscopy required a ‘friend’ or ‘family member’, not a Rideshare driver, to take me back home. I only have ONE qualifying friend and one out of town family member. Thankfully my friend redid her sched to help me out. A def need there!

[kareemkalisari]

“ _Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit._ "

~ *Khalil Gibran* ✍️

[Rebecca-fhpe]

I’ve had exactly this procedure done - 4 impacted wisdom teeth extracted under full anesthesia. I didn’t full wake up for 3 days. So this story is kind of gruesome, that someone would walk a comatose-like person bleeding from the mouth and sit her at a table in 90 degree heat to suffer and dehydrate, maybe even fall off the bench and get injured. There is no way she should feel responsible for her brother’s life decision. What was done to her was a cruelty.

[katharineharrison]

It all starts with ‘you made me mad, blah blah blah.’ I thought they just had not grown up but now I see that they truly do believe you made it all go wrong.

[Launicanumba]

The timing again is impeccable. I cannot thank you enough for all that you do for us. I have learned so much from you and it has helped me tremendously.

[mikeordway]

Yeah, I can relate. My girlfriend could not drive me to ER after my knee surgery. She was too busy taking care of herself. Mind you she has no kids or anything that would keep her from helping me. So I took a cab. I was in incredible pain. My heart rate and breathing were elevated. So I took a cab. Later she unloaded all her stuff on me. All I could think was, I can't believe it. I just had surgery.
I was really upset and hurt. So it was my response to her that became the topic. Not her lack of support or empathy. What king of person does that to someone in desperate need?

[nataliegentry]

Ugghhh!!! I'm sad that she feels responsible for the ending of her brother's marriage. I've had my wisdom teeth removed. I had the same fears and the same response, post-surgery. This woman needed to be attended to, not be taken to the pool. I'm glad she took care of herself at a time when she should have been able to rely on someone else to attend to her best interests. I agree with you, Dr. Ramani, that hospitals and medical facilities should have services that can attend to patients post-surgery; it would be a great help for people who don't have someone to turn to.

[z-docc]

I was 20 when I had that done, I didn't recall the ride home. The brother saved himself a lifetime of hell; and a horrible example for their child. Providing they divorce.

This is typical of the narcisstic person. It does take years to detox from narcisstic abuse.

Being single in America we are treated like we're a disease. We suffer at work people sharing their families vacations and stories; we have to listen to all of it but ethnic differences are emphasized but marriage status is protected.