Your Ex Is Suffering Too

Breakups are painful for everyone involved, not just the person who was left behind. In this video, we’ll explore how your ex might also be experiencing emotional struggles after the breakup—even if they were the one who initiated it. Understanding this can give you a new perspective and help you stay strong during this difficult time.

When a relationship ends, it’s natural to feel like you’re the only one hurting. However, the truth is that your ex is likely dealing with their own form of suffering. Their silence or decision to walk away doesn’t mean they’re unaffected. In fact, many people struggle deeply with the consequences of their choices, even if they don’t show it outwardly.

Your Silence Concerns Them
One of the most impactful ways your ex might be struggling is with your silence. When you stop reaching out, it forces them to sit with their decision. Without contact from you, they’re left to wonder if they made a mistake. The absence of reassurance makes them realize that reconciliation isn’t guaranteed, which can be unsettling. Silence has a way of creating space for doubt, and that doubt can grow over time.

The “Right Decision Burden”
Even if your ex felt confident about the breakup initially, they may begin to question whether it was truly the right choice. The emotional toll of missing intimacy, companionship, and connection can weigh heavily on them. They may try to convince themselves they made the right decision, but their emotions often tell a different story.

Loss of Emotional Investment
Relationships require significant emotional investment, and when they end, that investment doesn’t disappear overnight. Your ex might feel like all the time, energy, and love they poured into the relationship is now lost. This can create a sense of grief—not just for the relationship but for the hopes and dreams they associated with it.

Cognitive Dissonance from Seeing You Thrive
If you’re handling the breakup with grace and appear to be moving forward, this can create emotional conflict for your ex. Seeing you thrive forces them to reconcile two competing ideas: that they ended things because it felt like the best choice, yet you seem to be doing better than expected without them. This can lead to feelings of regret or even envy.

Fears of Being Replaced Emotionally
Another source of suffering for your ex could be the thought of you building a connection with someone new. Even if they initiated the breakup, imagining you moving on with someone else can be a difficult pill to swallow. This fear often stems from jealousy and the realization that they may no longer hold a special place in your life.

Why This Perspective Matters
Understanding that your ex is also suffering doesn’t mean you should try to rescue them or fix their pain. Instead, it’s a reminder to stay strong and focus on your own growth. Their struggles are part of their journey, just as yours are part of yours. Your silence and distance create the space for them to reflect and potentially realize what they’ve lost.

By recognizing their potential struggles, you can gain the clarity and strength to stay on the path of healing—and perhaps even open the door for reconciliation when the time is right. Watch this video to learn more about the dynamics at play and why your silence may be more powerful than you think.

[Chaoswithkhushi]

No contact always work guys. Either u get them or you get yourself back❤

[bartholetbayana]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[southerncrosshempoil]

14 year relationship and dumped by text 15 months ago. I didn’t plead, nor beg, and told her I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me. I went into NC and working on my pilots license and exercising daily. Wishing her the best

[PB-mdnt]

Woman, for some reason, love self-sabotaging relationships. I've learned so much watching your content over the last two years. I REFUSE to beg, or chase, someone ever again if they want to breakup. You're right, they almost ALWAYS come back.

[katethegreatfromanotherstate]

I feel sad for myself for wanting someone to come back who wasnt doing enough.

[uniquecrypto]

To know that you have healed is when you see Coach Lee's notification that reads "Your ex is also suffering" and you will be like...who cares? 😂😂😂

[CarlaJayne-jcqz]

5 days of no contact I deleted all social media apps to heal so if totally disappeared to work on me.. he will miss me in time.. I’m logged out of the matrix 😊

[DanHoller-ebxt]

if she’s suffering, it’s by her own hands!

[sivabeharry]

Let them be, never wish suffering on someone, just pray they find peace...just not with you, ever again.

[AD-hhdd]

Coach Lee, you always have great hair, but your hair lately is my fave style on you! Also, your coaching, your breakup kit, and your videos have been such a huge relief in my life whether to help me get someone back or move on. We love you.

[Markiesharkie]

Hello from Ireland Coach Lee. I have listened to most relationship coaches on the web and take it as a compliment, you are the most balanced in your approach providing sound & calm advice, which has pulled me back from making big mistakes. For that I’m eternally grateful, thank you sir 🙏🏻

[TheBigMenace]

To everyone waiting on no contact, it does work. My ex came back begging me to be her boyfriend again, she claimed she missed me. But, I wasn't interested anymore so I turned her down. There's power in disappearing.

[dennishaas]

if your ex is reckless enough to break up with you, what other bad decisions will they make ?

[ElPlan]

I haven't heard from her since 2 months. I think, I should move on. No contact helped me to recover, that's it.

[shennell]

When he left I won 😌🙏 I hope he never tries to come back cuz I don't want him anymore. His lose my win. I'm free from the abuse & it's such a relief.

[valeriedelagarza]

20 years married he left me for another, never saw him again. I dont want him back but I do hope he suffers internally for his impulsive, delusional romance with another cheater.

[shalineemvalaydon]

No contact work only to allow you move forward and not being weak and trying to beg your ex to take you back .. that the only reason I watch the videos I want to get over the pain and be stronger.. stop believing your ex will come back he won’t !

[ipdharwad]

I suffered coz i yesed him. I learnt and moved on. Now who is suffering, not suffering, miserable etc is their Karma. I must keep myself aloof.

[JoshuaPsalms]

I realize I was beating my self up emotionally for many days and nights. Months I was hurting. For what I could have done different. But, I look back at the person I showed up as in the relationship and I’m proud of who I was and who I am still becoming because of the relationship with her. I love her so much and still do. Yea it’s painful and the most painful break apart is from the one you truly loved. But if she remembers the person you showed up as time and time and again, and she truly loves you. I believe she will come back. Only cause real genuine love is not so easy to find. That real love is what will bring them back to repair I believe. If not well then I got a well repaired heart at the end of relationship and will be able to endure anything if you survived this type Of pain all on your own.

[iamjason]

Coach, last year in March she left me after almost five years together, we met in Highschool senior year
(both our first).
You’ve probably seen my comments throughout the summer and months of 24 but I just wanna say…I gave up a few months ago. I no longer want her back. After months of analyzing what happend and what led her to leave absolutely crushed me… when I puzzled the last piece which was back in late September it dawned on me that she was cheating on me and she’s with the same guy since…I see them all the time at my gym. Even the first week after she broke up with me.

I just wanna say thank you for helping me, with no contact, the possibilities, the temptations…with everything. You were there from the start. getting this video on recommendation definitely brought back some dark times I never want to go through again.. but again, Thank you. God bless you coach Lee.