Why do narcissists like to pretend that nothing happened after a blowup | The Narcissists Code Ep656

why do narcissists like to pretend that nothing happened after a blowup? Narcissistic people are trying to avoid shame at all costs.

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

Thank you so much

[sarahhale-pearson]

It’s also a great way of making you feel like you’re going insane.

[louise]

He would yell at me for hours. I would be crying and distressed. Then he would ask, "what's for dinner?" I would just stare at him and then he would say, " what is wrong with you? What is your problem? " Madness.

[andrewcicchetti]

If you think your partner is a narcissist, leave. Period. End of story. The abuse will only worsen in time.

[bonniekerr]

In my experience the narcissist
gave me the silent treatment when I told him his behavior was hurtful. .
So instead of pretending nothing happened, he pretended I started the drama and punished me for it.

[ms.j.]

They don’t want accountability for their behavior.

BUT they will demand accountability from you!!!
LOL

[BlackRoseFlorida]

This is so TRUE...They act like nothing happen and you start to feel delusional 😂😂😂

[sarahhale-pearson]

My husband literally claims to have no memory of the horrible things he says and does, tries to convince me I imagined it all…. I sometimes wonder if he has actually convinced himself of it.

[martinezfrederic]

I went through this behavior with my ex-husband and his family. He would do bad things and act like nothing ever happened. It drove me nuts. What made it worse was his family who are also narcissist’s would come with the religious phrase, “Jesus wants you to forgive.” They would always use the religious thing. I’m religious, but these are the religious hypocrites. My son who is 29 wants nothing to do with them and neither do I.

[fallenlotus]

Simple, because a narcissist can never own up to their shit and refuse to take accountability or apologize for their own actions. They're the equivalent of a toddler knocking over a vase then blaming someone/something else for what they did. It never fails.

[symbolizeme]

This is my mom. Every time I call her out she flips out like a toddler, ends up crying about some sad story she just made up, and then the next time I see her it’s like it never happened.

[jbesaflores]

My narcissist told my child, “Good families have short memories” and “If a crack appears in a relationship, just spackle it over” and “there is no value in talking about the past”, in other words, “pretend nothing has happened” in order to avoid accountability and shame. It’s hard to raise healthy children with these influences in a narcissistic family system.

[finallyfree]

I remember my NEX kept me up for hours one night trying to convince me to turn over my finances to him (because he "claimed" to be skilled at managing money). When I didn't give in, he gave me the silent treatment (while married and living in the same house) for almost 2 months. It was during that time that I woke up and realized what I was dealing with and began to educate myself and plan my escape. When he decided that I had enough he started talking to me literally out of the blue as if we'd both been so busy and it'd only been a few days. It was the audacity for me...but I played stupid right along with him because I knew his days were numbered. I left him 4 months later and I'm 4 years narc free!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[isabella-dweg]

100% & if they do apologize, it's insincere so you can drop it. I'm diagnosed bipolar with ptsd & my ex is the covert narcissist. I went & got mental help because he wanted me to, which granted was the best thing I ever did, but noticed I alone wasn't just the problem & he absolutely refused to better himself or take any accountability. Started realizing a lot of things after the break up because he only got worse. Healing is my focus.

[shawna]

i finally left and it’s only been a week! but constantly replaying the words he uses to yell at me when we’re in an argument just let me know it’s time to go, ! we have kids and still have to go through a divorce but i pray everyday the most high gives me strength to never go back! i listen to our audio and re read my writing from years ago and realize i’m better than this and so much stronger! my kids will thank me later in life!!

[ashleighrichardson]

“They’ll smile in your face after they hit you with a frying pan.” 🤣

[AdamNPDSurvivor]

This is a big one for me. I haven't seen a video that touches on this subject. I first became consciously aware of this behaviour during my final discard (after 22 yrs of marriage) when the ex wife would blow up / rage, leave the house or leave the room for a short period and then return like she had pressed the reset button. There would be absolutely no discussion about the rage episode that had happened only a short while ago. It was so damn confusing at the time. I didn't have a clue at the time (during my marriage or my discard) that the wife was a narcissist until after I left and turned to Google.

[klrabbitts]

It's all a mind Mine asked me to leave, helped me move out and then said 'I can't believe you left' when I was halfway across the country. what the actual? Not quite sure what they gain from this or if they are truly that delusional?

[loribabineaux]

We called this "Groundhog Day" at our house. He would go to bed and the next morning it was like that day never happened.

[symbolizeme]

It’s cool how you talk like a friend and not a doctor. Keep up the good work!

[ladonnasimpson]

I go silent because I'm thinking of a way to get the hell out of there 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 if you don't know I don't either . Thanks Mr. Lee you talk some real truth 🙏🏾🤔