They/Them Pronouns - How do I remember to use them?

Audio and Visual Transcript (Generously provided by Sylvia) is found in the comment section due to description character limit.

Hello beautiful people!

This video is inspired by a friend whose parent is supportive but was struggling to remember using they/them pronouns. Hopefully, this quick video helps some out there in similar situations.

Have a great day and stay hydrated,
~ Sean

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The Trevor Project Help Line

[prestep]

As someone that learned english as their second language I find they/them way easier than she/her or he/him

[sgt.silkie]

Really trying to get my friend’s pronouns right and I think acknowledge pronouns in general will help! Thanks for the tip <3

[wendyjaa]

I'm cis and I still love this idea a lot. Why put genders on things? Why assume anyone's gender?

3 year update: lol I'm nonbinary

[Just-A-Nemo]

Oh my mom asked someone what their pronouns were and later on they said it made their day. Me being trans has helped my mom remember that not everyone uses the pronouns that they look like

[mr.lookalike]

Me misgendering myself in public because I’m not used to being out

[cardinalhamneggs]

According to a non-binary Tumblr user, the “NB” in Non-Binary stands for “numerous bees”.

[PhoenixAnimations]

[Audio and Visual Transcript - Generously provided by Sylvia]

Visual description (VD) | Two people, one green, the other yellow, sit at a table. A speech line indicates that the green person says “So I told him – er, her? No… them! I’m sorry”.

Audio description (AD) | Narrator: ‘They/them’ pronouns are hard to start but easy to master. You actually probably use them without even realizing

VD | Door in center of frame.The words ‘*knock* *knock*’ appear.

AD | For example, imagine someone knocks at your door.

VD | The same door is in the background. A person seated cross-legged in the foreground with a yellow blanket wrapped around them and holding something yellow says “someone’s at the door!” From offscreen, someone says “what do they want?”. The word ‘they’ is written in green, whereas the rest of the writing is black. The person in the foreground replies “probably our souls”.

AD | You might say, "someone's at the door!" and in a response, "What do they want?"

VD | The other side of the door is shown. The grim reaper waits outside the door with a scythe standing on its own beside them. They are wearing a black hood and have some sort of sash over their shoulder. The camera is facing the back of the grim reaper.

AD | Here the parent has addressed the person at the door with ‘they’.

VD | The front of the grim reaper is shown. They are holding a cookie box and have a sad look on their face. The grim reaper says, “no one ever answers….” The words ‘he?’ and ‘she?’ appear written in green writing.

AD | Of course, we have no knowledge of the person's gender and therefore have no reason to attach a more boxed pronoun such as ‘he’ or ‘she’ to them.

VD | Various phrases appear on screen written in different colors and different writing styles. The phrases are: ‘he’s cute’, ‘she seemed nice’, ‘it’s a boy!’, ‘go tell her’, ‘their car is so slow’, ‘he and I will do it’, ‘s\he looks sad’, ‘who is she?’, ‘you won’t believe what he just did’, (the following phrase is written upside down) ‘that is his’, ‘does he have a girlfriend?’, and ‘you know boys will be boys’.

AD | Now to get more comfortable with using ‘they/them’ pronouns, become more aware of when you use pronouns day to day

VD | A generic human shape is shown. A blue box is shown pointing at the person’s face. A pink box is shown pointing at their head. A blue box is shown pointing at the lower part of their left leg. A pink box is shown pointing at the top of their right leg. A series of question marks is shown pointing at their chest. Several mathematical formulas and shapes emerge from the body. They are as follows: An upside-down right triangle with the other angles being 30 degrees and 60 degrees. The side of the triangle opposite the 60 degree angle is labeled ‘x√3’. The side opposite the 30 degree angle is labeled ‘x’. The hypotenuse is labeled ‘2x’. The following formula is shown: -b ±√[(b2-4ac)/2a]. The formula A=πr2 is shown. A cone with the height labeled ‘h’ and the radius labeled ‘r’ is shown. The formula C=2πr is shown.

AD | A lot of the time, people make assumptions based on certain physical looks, gestures, and mannerisms to calculate their own preconceived idea

VD | An equal sign and the word ‘Female’ in pink writing is shown. An asterisks and the words ‘51% sure…’ in pink writing is shown below the word ‘Female’.

AD | of someone's gender.

VD | The words ‘They/Them’ is shown. The words are written in different shades of green.

AD | Wouldn't it be easier just to use ‘they/them’

VD | A white person and a purple person are shown shaking hands. The white person asks, “What pronouns do you use?”

AD | until you had the chance to personally ask what pronouns they use.

VD | Two individuals are shown facing each other. The one on the left is darker green and the one on the right is lighter green with a brown circle on their chest. The person on left says, “She?” The person on right points to the brown circle on their chest.

AD | This avoids accidentally calling, for example, a person ‘she’ when in actuality

VD | The brown circle is a button that says ‘please use he/him pronouns’.

AD | he prefers ‘he/him’.

VD | A person with open mouth facing to the right. They say, “Hi! My name’s Sean. I use he/him pronouns.”

AD | Oftentimes I'll introduce myself by saying my pronouns.

VD | A different person facing to the left. They say, “Oh, my name is Sam. Uh… she/her pronouns? Yes!

AD | This encourages the other to do the same.

VD | Two people, one pink and one light purple, sit on a white cloth in front of a tree trunk. The pink person moves and points.

AD | They/them pronouns can be used outside of people as well. "Woah! Look at that dog!"

VD | A purple person is shown holding a leash. A white and sand colored dog is shown in the leash looking and pawing at the ground.

VD | The two people sitting under the tree again. The light purple person says, “They look like a bulldog mix.” The word ‘they’ is written in green writing.

AD |"I think they're a bulldog mix"

VD | Three buttons are shown. The top left one is pink and says, ‘please use they/them pronouns’. The top right one is green and says, ‘please use he/him pronouns’. The bottom one is grey and says ‘please use ze/zir pronouns’.

AD | Lastly, know that some people don't mind using more than one set of pronouns.

VD | A person is shown holding a phone to their face. The person says, “Well he seemed upset, ” and “I hope they’re okay….” The words ‘he’ and ‘they’re’ are written in green writing.

AD | In those instances, it's most common for you just to use them interchangeably.

VD | The two people from the first scene are shown again. The green person on the left says, “I’m sorry...” The yellow person on the right says, “Hey, it’s okay.”

AD | But in the end remember that it's okay to mess up. We've all been there. Just move on from it and try again next time.

[barkingdoggo]

I hate my native language (Portuguese) because almost everything has grammatical gender so I can't just try avoiding it like you can do in English
E.g. "you're beautiful" become either "voce e bonito" (clearly male) or "Voce e bonita" (clearly female)

[aeskzy]

My cousin has been out as non-binary since I was 8. I knew what the word was, but my parents never educated me on LGBTQ+ (hence why it took me years to figure out I was transgender and omnisexual) so I never got used to using the right pronouns and I'm trying to improve. This video helped me a lot, thanks!

[elisebennet]

what a great video. thank you for making this! I wish there was more awareness about these things.

[edgyskeleton]

The thing is, while I get dysphoria by being misgendered, it also helps me know if I'm passing or not. If everyone always called me they/them pronouns, I would have no idea if I need to change something about my apperance to pass better, because id have no idea if I pass at all

[raleo]

I love how in English there's a neutral pronoun. As a Spanish native, it's hard to not assume someone's gender because the "neutral" pronoun in the male one, and the ideas of using a different sound from "el/ella" (the "elle" article) doesn't feel natural. At least the possessive pronoun's gender is dependant on the object and not the person (yeah, random object have a gender assigned to them don't ask why)

[leahozhantortune]

In Tagalog, we don't have gender pronouns, we just have a multitools "sila, siya, silang, and siyang" Which if we add the 'ng' (which btw is actually one letter with 2 characters, there is a difference) when we are talking possessive or if they did something

[LycanMOON]

She/them is a good mix if your not comfortable yet but know you want to be a girl

[glimm]

the fact that you're still answering people's questions after 3 years is incredible. i have so much respect for you
-a nb who was very happy to find this video

[thatoneweirdo]

My sibling came out as nonbinary recently and my whole family is trying to use their preffered name and pronouns. It makes me happy to see my family accepting them for who they are :)

[luckycat]

I'm German and really confused. We usually make everything male we don't know about. The only neutral would be "Es" which doesn't work with anything and has a reality negative tastes as we usually use "es" for something abnormal or a lifeless. Neutral pronounce don't seem to work with our grammar either. It's so easy in English, yet I Still don't get how to form a proper sentence with it in German. Help.

[SomeNebulaGuy]

How does the non-binary ninja defeat their enemies?
_They/them_

[bumblegoot]

Introducing yourself as they / them gets me a range of responses. Here are my most common ones:

1. Discomfort, they introduce themselves back without stating their pronouns. The most common response, most people don’t care and don’t bother learning. Fortunately I don’t typically spend much time with those people.

2. Confusion, they didn’t expect it but still state their pronouns. They aren’t used to it, but they still understand it at first glance and are willing to try.

3. Acceptance, instantly pipes up with their name and pronouns as well. Conversation usually goes swimmingly because we’ve introduced properly and no one gives a shit.

4. “wHaT, aRe YoU pLuRaL oR sOmEtHiNg?”

[SheepDreams]

I can see you being the next youtube animator