Why Gender Pronouns Matter

"My pronouns are they/them/theirs, and that's a non-negotiable...they're so important because they are the smallest and easiest way that you can acknowledge somebody's identity."

Trans students explain why pronouns are so important.

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[SeventeenMagazine]

Do you think gender pronouns are important?

[adammarjanovic]

Laughs in Australia. Everyone is “mate”.

[justaguywithaturban]

This whole gender stuff confuses me, I’m going to watch some documentaries about the universe now.

[greymage]

The question is how is a stranger supposed to know what you identify as? Not everyone is going to come up to a stranger and ask, "Hey stranger, what are your personal pronouns?" So if a stranger mis-pronouns you that is NOT an act of violence, that is an act of ignorance, they have no knowledge of your personal pronouns. They cannot know unless they are told...I find it interesting how that if someone does mis-pronoun they get attitude and hatred but on the other hand if a stranger comes up and ask, they likewise get attitude or hatred for having the nerve to ask.

I made the mistake about talking about a person I did not know on the street to a friend of mine. I said "That person..." I didn't get to finish before that person was scream at me for saying. They were equating it to me saying "Those people". I apologized which set them off again and again when I asked what they thought a stranger should call them when referencing to another person.

The response was something along the lines of Zer...Still have no idea. They then told me it was rude to even ask.

I then popped off that I was damned if I do and damned if I don't.

They then called me a few words I had to look up later and called me trans and homophobic...I laughed at that and then showed them my tattoo...An infinity sign with the gay flag inside it with three interlinked male signs and three bear paw also with the gay flag on it...I then said I am not gay or trans phobic, just the terminology has changed in the 32 years plus since I came out and I haven't kept up.

I then told them to either educate me or leave me the hell alone...
They walked away.

[sparklestarplanet]

I thought "they/ their/ them" means more then one person

[alix]

I am trying to learn English.
Leave me alone.

[andrewthehope]

How does this happen? This is a serious question. Why do some people feel disconnected to traditional genders? Why does a person identify as something new? Please I'm curious.

[agneshpedersen]

Hey! English is not my first language, and I am therefore a bit confused. Female: "she is beautiful" Male: "he is beautiful"
Non-binary "they is beautiful"? Idk the sentence sounds a bit off to me. Am I correct or how do I use the pronoun.

[justanopinion]

Unpopular Opinion: If anyone's got a problem with anyone telling you something, don't talk to them. And well you might feel whatever you want to feel and think the same way, but you cannot and shall no force your thinking upon others! Not a leftist, neither right, just a classical liberal!

[monicachaney]

When did mullets come back in style? Seems to be a non-binary hair trend that's non-negotiable.

[matthew]

Laugh in korea. Everyone is "shibalsaeki"

[martymar]

I just see people insecure about their gender oooops I mean “them”

[chloe_]

I have a legitimate question, and I’m not trying to be a total jerk. If someone wants to use they/them pronouns, are we supposed to say “they are” and be grammatically correct, or are we supposed to say “they is” and throw all rules out the window but keep it singular? It gets so difficult because in school they teach to not say “they are” when talking about one person because it is technically wrong. However, when people choose to identify that way, what forms of verbs are we to use?

[qwerty-crpo]

laugh in Malaysia. Everyone is "kau"

[renderlessnight_]

Ok here my opinion on the whole “not using someone’s pronouns is violence” thing. (I’m a trans man btw)

So I think if you aren’t doing something on purpose you aren’t committing a hate crime. Like, if you accidentally misgender someone you’re not and evil transphobic bigot, but like if you purposely misgender someone then you’re kind of an asshole.

Also I don’t personally believe that there’s a million different genders, I think that there are two main binary genders and that not everyone falls onto either of them.

Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and that you don’t have to agree (so pls don’t hate me)

[mayesjoyessha]

I understand being non-binary. I also understand being trans. But I cannot understand how you can be transgender and not have a gender.

[madisonc]

if it's a spectrum, it's still between male and female, and nonbinary refers to not on the binary, so how can something be nonbinary when it's still on the binary spectrum?

[isma]

I'm non-binary but I couldn't care less is people still call me he/him

[BSBMteam]

Gender pronouns in Chinese are not an issue at all. Whether referring to a female or male, both sets of pronouns sound exactly the same in Mandarin Chinese. The spoken language doesn’t distinguish between male or female.

However, the written language does distinguish between female and male.

Mandarin Chinese Characters:
他 Tā（He）
她 Tā（She）
他的 Tā de（His）
她的 Tā de（Her）
你 Nǐ（You, male）
妳 Nǐ（You, female）

Now, when referring to someone who is transgender, nonbinary, and/or doesn’t identify as a male or female, the solution is simple. Spoken pronouns sound the same, so that’s taken care of. Written pronouns use the default form:
他 Tā (He)
他的 Tā de (His)
你 Nǐ (You, male)

Why are “male” pronouns considered to be the default? That’s because the composition of those characters are inherently neutral. Notice how each of the “male” pronouns contain “亻” on the left:
“He” 亻 + 也 = 他
“His” 亻 + 也 = 他(的)
“You” 亻 + 尔 = 你
This “亻” component (AKA semantic radical) means “Person” (人). Therefore, since these pronouns all contain a component which means “Person”, transgender/non-binary people are referred to using these inherently neutral written characters because in the end, everybody is a person!

How about female pronouns?
她 Tā（She）
她的 Tā de（Her）
妳 Nǐ（You, female）

They all contain the “女” component (semantic radical) on the left, meaning “woman, female, girl”. These female pronoun characters were created in the 20th century to distinguish females from males in writing. These written characters are only used when referring to females; that’s progressive thinking!

In Cantonese, another widely-spoken variety of Chinese, both pronouns also sound the exact same. Like Mandarin, their written forms also vary.

Cantonese Chinese Characters:
佢 Köi（He）
姖 Köi（She）
佢嘅 Köi ge（His）
姖嘅 Köi ge（Her）
你 Néi（You, male）
妳 Néi（You, female）

As you can see, they also use the “亻” Person radical and the “女” Female radical. From our observations on two major Chinese languages/dialects, we can infer that nearly all dialects of Chinese (of which there are hundreds) share the same system when dealing with pronouns!

In conclusion, the Chinese language is great in that it easily solves the gender pronoun problem English faces, and also distinguishes females from males in the written language.

[chocolatecream]

When I ask someone what’s their gender, it gives off disrespectful vibes to me. I wouldn’t want someone asking wtf am I. So the whole “assuming gender” thing, is way too difficult. I’m a female. I’m a girl. I look like it (I think), wtf are you gonna do, ya know? Just correct them.