Scapegoats When You STOP Reacting to Narcissistic Parents/Family THIS Happens

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Scapegoats, when you stop reacting to narcissists THIS happens:
Today I want to talk about what happens when you stop reacting to narcissistic parents or narcissistic family members - when you stop reacting. When you look back on your relationship with this person - there's probably a good chance that you've been in a cycle where maybe things are good for a little bit but then the narcissist suddenly does things to seemingly intentionally hurt you. And maybe you've been in a cycle of actually feeling the emotions they are trying to provoke. Maybe they are trying to get you angry and maybe you wind up getting upset and losing your cool, raising your voice. They may want to hurt your feelings and you may wind up in tears. They may want you to feel unworthy and you wind up feeling nothing but shame. There actions are provoking emotions inside of you. That cycle of them provoking and your reacting may have existed for a long time. Thankfully there's so much information out there, information I wish existed when I was a teenager. In the past, children of narcissists if they didn't understand the dynamics - which how could they have right? So at they blamed themselves. So they were stuck trying harder and harder to please a parent that was unpleasable.

[ladennayoung]

Yeah. People will definitely dismiss what you are saying, and they act like you are exaggerating.

[marynorth]

This is what happened to me also! When you first realize you are in the clutches of a narcissist, you are advised to stop reacting. You start to feel better, but then the narcissist keeps turning up the dials until they gets supply. The worst part is that others who don't know about narcissism will side against you.

[kc]

Great points! This is great in clarifying where I am since no contact. They are trying very hard to provoke me. Ahhhh…I get it! Many decades I always tried to change to get a different response because I thought they misunderstood me. Duh! They didn’t want to understand, they wanted me to jump through the hoops of their meanness!

[Layla-frmf]

This happened to me except I started to get better on my own and not reacting to my mother’s tactics since I was back home for a bit because of the pandemic and she became so miserable she physically attacked me.

I told her that I would get her arrested and defend myself if she tried anything again and she started making up stories and causing a scene for my golden child brother so that they could mob against me as usual. Mind you she is in her 50s and me my 20s.
It helps to isolate yourself from them. While I was at home I would only see them for dinner and thankfully other meals I was gone early for work and finally I am getting ready to leave once again and never come back to the hell. Always keep strong and nerve react and repeat the mantra “this too shall pass” and you will be gone sooner than you think. Also be mindful that they will keep trying to act super nice to get your empathy because they know that you are an empath as a scapegoat.

[lordfreerealestate]

"Provoke then accuse." That's what they do. As soon as you start gray-rocking, they will up their game.

[HAMIDK]

Learning my dads toxic tactics at 32 wish i learned then earlier i suffered alot

[reidermomma]

Parents and sister are like this. Last time was so horrific, i won’t ever speak to any of them again

[brianf]

My malignant abusive narcissistic mother died and to tell you the truth I couldn't tell you where she went.

[HRPFayetteville]

Once u see it changes everything in everyday

[caliblue]

Narcissists project their shadow onto you and blame you for the work they haven’t done. Most have behaved so horribly for so long they’ve try to latch onto your energy as an extension of themselves so the abuse is like their attempt at an exorcism of their demon. Don’t play into it but more than that walk like a lion through their darkness and shine shine shine🌞

[RatedArggg]

"I need you to believe me for me to hold onto my truth." WOW. That's exactly how I felt for years. Now I'm able to let it go.

[johnmcvicar]

'Observe don't Absorb' mindset frees you believing that you are obliged to respond. Instead, stay in your own space and keep moving forward along your own path.

[jewlzn]

This has really been eye opening for me. My mom is married to victim behavior. She is a literal victim in every situation. She is 67 years old and that is her pattern. As I was looking into it, I discovered that she is in fact a narcissist. Ive always had mental health issues. Always. Depressed, anxious, low self esteem, extremely codependent in relationships. I started therapy. And meditation. What a blessing. I've started to rally around myself and really set boundaries for me. If anyone wants to deal with me, they have to treat me well.
I noticed that everytime I argue with my mom, she dredged up old issues from the past. Things that have nothing to do with the matter at hand. Yesterday we got into an argument and she brought up other things. My initial instinct was to ignore her, but she couldn't let it go. And sadly I fell right into her trap and I started yelling and yelling.
I was so upset. But I realized I don't care. And I truly don't. I'm tired of being manipulated, tired of being her lackey. I made an honest mistake and she made a whole world of it. I decided right away that moving out is the only option. I cant keep signing up for misery like this. I'm usually no contact with her and I plan on maintaining it for a long time. My peace of mind is non-negotiable

[sarahw]

It did get worse when I stopped reacting. With a parent. I went NC after that. He started abusing his enablers. The ones who enabled him abusing me prior. They all deserve each other

[mercedessanchez]

I am so impressed! I stopped reacting to my moms attacks and, in less than a month, she went ballistic on our housekeeper and she resigned. She’s been with us for 18 years!

[wildinourways]

Have been dealing with a mother and sister that have behaved this way my entire life towards me. Finally cutting off all contact but the damage they have left behind is really something else. Thank you for this video!

[patricestar]

This what I have gone through with my daughter...she will always be mean and a hurtful Narcissist person with me.
I have learned that NO CONTACT REALLY MEANS NO CONTACT!!!
IT IS EITHER ME...OR HER.

[bradmcewen]

As I contemplate these malicious manipulations it is apparent that all traps created by narcissistic submission it is always the vulnerability of circumstance. As a child your definitely trapped nor even really know what's normal. As an adult it may be a loss, a change, that makes you willingly submitt as a care taker who's loss leaves a void. So when someone new takes advantage of this, all the while sucking you in closer, your finding your worth again. Your purpose. But it couldn't be more wrong. Abandoning your self as a child may be the only survival option. Then some become narcissists themselves while others rebuke the conundrum. As an adult, finding yourself again is so much more important than finding an opportunist. Kept in chaos and charming crazy will only multiply the self work ahead exponentially. Find happiness within the parameters of your comfort zone. Can you imagine not getting the knowledge? I can't. One narc then done. Parent or relationship.

[peterknyk]

Thank you Michele! The narcissist's family, (in laws) were so cruel at different times I didn't know where to turn! I'm finally learning to gray rock them.... thank you for this video!

[educationalbrowsing]

6:57 Yes. In my case as an asthmatic, spraying a lot of insecticide in the house for non-existent mosquitoes until I called her out.