Why Do We Hold Ourselves to Neurotypical Standards?

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Why Do We Hold Ourselves to Neurotypical Standards?

[WaxFly]

Jessica put out a challenge at the end of the video to tell the world what we're good at. Does anyone else feel like taking it up? Here's some of mine!

I'm great in a crisis.
I'm a good educator.
I'm a good teamplayer.
I'm excellent with emotions, my own and others.
I'm a good friend and partner.

[gulfgiggleanimations]

I’m often reminded of this one comic about the educational system. There’s a variety of animals standing in a line, a songbird, a monkey, a penguin, an elephant, a fish in a bowl, a seal, and a dog. Across from them is a man who tells them:

“For a fair selection everyone has to take the same exam: please climb that tree”

[oPHILOSORAPTORo]

"Everyone fails at who they're supposed to be, Thor. The measure of a person - of a hero - is how well they succeed at being who they are."

[sharpielynch]

Not a person with ADHD but I can tell you this: even fulfiling the neurotypical standards the adult/ corporate world expect us to achive, there is a good chance you still won't be seen as a valuable person. This year I lost a job after five years not because I wasn't good enough (they had to put 3 people to do only one of the tasks I used to do) but because I was "too expensive" for the company. What did I learn from this? You are not your job, your degree or whatever other blank others expect you to fill and strugling to do so is a waste of energy and time because in the end it will never be enough for them. I know, sounds like a cliche but it's not the same when it hits you for real. You are worthy, you have a lot to give and you'll realise about it when you sit down and check what's inside your box. Peace everyone!

[the_baldy_scotsman]

"Hold down a job for longer than 2 years without being bored"

Honestly the only job I've held down for over a year is youth work, and that is because it allows me to essentially act like a big kid!

Stick to your strengths people!!

And I'm soooo glad I found your channel, I think you're good at teaching things in simple ways and you are a joy to listen to

[emmacole]

I recently told my therapist that my life's goal was to be like a combo of Ms Frizzle, Mr Rogers, Miss Honey, and a bunch of other great teachers in media. She asked me what traits I wanted to have from each of them, and then pointed out that I already have a lot of those traits more than I think I do.

[nuuukethewhales]

"I'm good at working hard to make up for the fact that I'm not good at stuff." I feel like this is basically what has got me through my work and educational careers, I can work myself to complete exhaustion and wind up in a really dark place just to get through something that I'm not great at. You said it so simply but I've never been able to put words on it. Thanks so much.

[determinators]

the overreliance on “predictability”, “consistency”, not asking questions, and being to work on time are elements of control. workers that do their work unquestioningly and require no upkeep or attention other than the threat of being fired are easier to manipulate.

edit: for people commenting or reading thinking i'm saying these are intrinsic parts of adhd: i'm not. i'm saying employers want pliable employees and that's why people with adhd/autism/etc. are more easily ostracized, fired, etc. and held to a neurotypical standard. because NT people *are* the 'standard' for a compliant employee that doesn't ask questions and just does as they're told (and, per embellished job role blurbs, just so happen to be 'self-motivated' and 'able to work under pressure' or whatever). 'positive' ND traits like creativity and working well under pressure are romanticized for the sake of having a worker willing to bend their back and produce like a robot to work for their employer; that's as far as they're useful in most employer settings--as far as they can be exploited. this is why there are problems with accommodations as well, because the positive traits are romanticized to a point of overshadowing the needs of the ND employee and whatever 'negative' traits they might have (in the view of an employer).

your employer being cool with neurodivergent brains is not the rule. it's still an exception.

[YKAl]

-im an artist
-im very creative in the way i approach things
-i always think outside the box
-my humor is different but unique
-ive always been very ambitious
-and i have lots of empathy for others!

[dawnpaoloabes]

"We have to find other ways to measure our value" 🥺

I will.

[Eris-gs]

A new subscriber after roughly three minutes.
As a “perfectionist” and divergent who tries to live up to some far-fetched “standard”, this really hit home.
To anyone reading this: pat yourself on the back no matter how “productive” you seemingly are. <3

[alexislurvey]

You’re good at explaining ideas. You’re good at advocating for yourself. You advocate for others. You see the good. You are present. You are loving. You are compassionate. You are enthusiastic. You are probably very out going. You light up the room when you walk in. You help people who are struggling. You express yourself. You don’t hold back. You are SO GOOD AT BEING YOU.

[GlenHunt]

No exaggeration, when you said you were going to list the things you're good at, even before you started to tear up, I started dissociating and shutting down. And yeah, this is something we've worked on in therapy for years. It is hard. It really is. Well done.

[evelinepieternella]

This is sooo true! I'm always sad that ADHD is always associated with solely negative traits cause I personally often find myself really excited to be around all of you! There's so much fun, excitement and creativity to be found among adhd people, as well as a generally more forgiving environment and to me that's more to be inspiring than to be shunned. So even if life can be quite difficult at times, I hope all of you know how awesome you are!

[jaejayp]

Because hiding amongst the "normies" makes us feel like we belong... When a lot of us spend younger years as an outcast and tries to conform... Its those... Things we do without thinking but don't realise that neurotypicals don't even have to put that effort.

Well that's me anyway 😁, it is hard to embrace yourself fully always with a society that is often built against you.

[bridgetteblueeyesandgoodvi]

I think it's terrible that we people with ADHD try so hard to be the opposite of what we are. You don't see people without ADHD trying to be ADHD they will think it's so hard! Now they know how we feel trying to be something we aren't

[bartr]

A lot of people, including myself, need to hear this! There's one thing I missed in this video: You are good enough just for being human. Everything else that you're good at is a wonderful bonus!

Thank you again for being so on-point with this topic, it really helps me and a lot of my friends.

[bigbearnelson]

Here goes nothing:

I'm good at problem solving.
I'm good at seeing different possibilities and possible outcomes.
I'm good at finding a way to work with anyone, even if I don't like them.

Wow, this really is hard. Definitely harder than it should be.

[annelissett]

Jessica is good at being incredibly authentic on camera, and it makes her so compelling to watch.

[GlenHunt]

"...but that’s a skill, and it’s one that I would never have recognized if I had just continued to try to focus on making myself be good at file folders." Pure GOLD! In your face neurotypicals!! We rock!! 😂