Why we hold hands: Dr. James Coan at TEDxCharlottesville 2013

Dr. James Coan is Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Director of the Virginia Affective Neuroscience Laboratory at the University of Virginia. Dr. Coan's work emphasizes the neuroscience of emotion and social relationships, and has been featured in Science, Nature, the New York Times, The Washington Post, Time Magazine, the New Yorker, The Atlantic, BBC News, Discovery Channel, New Scientist, Scientific American, CBS Sunday Morning, and other major media outlets. His work with John Gottman on behavior coding was featured in Malcolm Gladwell's best-seller, Blink. In 2010, Dr. Coan received the inaugural Janet Taylor Spence Award for Transformative Early Career Contributions from the Association for Psychological Science, and the Award for Distinguished Early Career Contributions from the Society for Psychophysiological Research. His talk today is entitled, "Why We Hold Hands."

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

CREDITS:
Editing: MC2 Creative

[lioong]

Ok but the way he talks is so cute and entertaining I don't get why there aren't more people laughing? :( you rock dude

[jauxro]

"It's not funny... It's a little funny."

[superdkls]

I love how he's the main one laughing at the spectacle of shocking his test subjects hahaha ... Super interesting talk, quite beautiful.

[salomeyul]

This talk gives a whole new meaning to the time when my dad was dying at the hospital. He had a terminal cancer, I've been told that he would not make it to the night. To make it worse, none of my siblings or my mom were picking up the phone or reading my texts, so I could not ask anyone for support of any kind.
I was devastated and didn't know what to do, so I just seated close to my dad, who was not able to talk anymore due to his disease. I held his hand between mine, telling him with my eyes how much Ioved him and that it was okay to let go. That I was there for him, to make sure he would not be alone. He lasted less than 2 minutes like that, and passed away in front of me. I know that he found the courage to leave this world only after he felt our hands joined.

That's how I know what this guy found out is absolutely true.

Love you dad, you'll always live in my heart

[Oshin_Life]

My mum says touching people you love soothes them and it is important to touch the hands of your children or hug them each day at least once.

[imice]

the love that married couple have is only comparable to the love this dude clearly has for science XD

[donboehner]

Yes.. I knew this but never have heard it spoken. After my wife passed I felt that half of me was missing. We touched and held hands all the time. Being a widower is most difficult because our loving touch is gone. The process of mutual touching growing into "I am you and you are me" is an awesome observation. Thank you for this.

[publicserviceannouncement]

A woman named Mary prayed with me and my mom at a food giveaway at a church we'd just started attending. She started to speak the prayer and then she reached her hand out for us to all join hands. When our hands connected I felt a peace beyond my own understanding. I can still feel that overwhelming feeling like everything is okay and is going to be okay when I recall the memory. I'll never forget that experience!

[nhilinhnguyen]

He missed the opportunity to say ‘She lent him a hand, literally and figuratively.’

[ErikBoesen]

We discussed one of this guy's studies in my high school psychology class. Most wholesome research of the year.

[arselamallick]

love this...when you really start to think about the depth of a small act of holding someone's hand you see how complex yet simple life is

[aellalee]

That explains why I almost cried when a coworker I felt close to held my hand. I am in a city where I haven't made close friends and this has been the case for many years. So for that moment I felt connected for the first time in a long time.

[buenahschoir]

This is interesting in the context of strangers feeling awkward about holding hands when asked to do so. Maybe if we had more physical contact with people who are different than us, we might see each other as connected and the same, instead of separated and different.

[judithkellner]

So glad for the world to hear you validating, through your scientific research, what we all human being need. We need to feel connected to a safe partner to confront and endure our pain.

wonderful talk!
 

[reneesegal]

This is very interesting and shows how we are wired for connection.  

[aberling]

This makes me curious about the psychological/neurological impact of shaking hands.

[karenKristal]

there are three kinds of handholding 1, we are here together 2, you are my possession 3, you have to look after me

[angelcakeart]

This video made me so happy. I don't hold hands often because of anxiety and boundary issues but man do I wish I did it more. So so wholesome, I needed this :)

[Vanditha-thoc]

I feel better when I hold my best friend's hand.

[publicserviceannouncement]

My mom told me that holding hands shows that you love a person.