Best advice for getting over DIVORCE quicker - MEN - 3 Quick Tips

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--------Chapters of the video--------------------
0:00 Intro
0:14 Tip #1 - Stop sentimental thoughts
1:03 How to stop
1:21 Tactic 1 - Rubberband
1:36 Tactic 2 - Breath
2:04 Tactic 3 - Talking out loud
2:52 Tactic 4 - Make a list
3:49 Tip #2 - Find a new community
5:14 Tip #3 - Conscious feelings of gratitude
7:43 A personal note

How to move on and stay the course after divorce to heal quickly? I give you my best 3 tips for dealing with divorce and how to help you get over it quicker. You need to first, stop having sentimental thoughts about your ex. Let that sh*t go, it's over, you need to move one. Catch yourself when you've gone down that path of thinking loving sentimental thoughts about her. They no longer serve you. I give a couple of techniques on how to help yourself to stop doing it.

Second, find a healthy new community. This could be church, running, Crossfit, cars, yoga, or anything positive. You need to start doing new things and meeting new people. Less time to dwell in your pain and thoughts.

The third tip is find things to be grateful for. Start small if you have to like your health, eye sight, smell, hearing, family's health, where you live, the people you know... There is always something you can find to be grateful. This will start to reframe your mind. Let the gratitude spread every chance you get. You will eventually be grateful for this pain and this divorce over time. That's a long ways away, but it will happen if you continuously find things to be grateful for.

If you've taken anything positive from this video, all I ask is that you please hit that Like button. I love reading the comments and I am the one that responds to them all, so let me hear from you!

Good luck to you!

[kev]

Great stuff man, I’m only 25 and we were married for 4 years. We have a 2 year old. Going through the break up right now and this really helped a lot. I’m in the military so staying busy has helped me but there’s times when I’m alone and I get this sentimental thoughts.... and is okay to have them.. my goal now is to have a great coparenting relationship with her because my son means the world to me

[LeeTaylor-ex]

I went through a devorce 2 years ago then got cancer which was really tough but I'm still here and ive got to be grateful for that

[m.fahmikosasih]

The pain that I am dealing with at the moment is unbearable. It's a nasty cocktail of resentments, memories ( good and bad ), fears and grieves. I am so grateful that I found this video during this phase of my experience. Man....I wished this all could stop as soon as possible, my mind is not my best friend at the moment...it's a struggle alright, I feel half in and half out, I am making progress but there were times when the emotions were so intense, I could feel them in my physical body, out of breath etc. next time my mind wants to drag me into that dark places of the past, I'm gonna stand up and say..NO.

[benjaminbarkerofficial]

It’s hard my brothers but I believe in everyone reading this message

[jeaf]

23 yrs of marriage. We had fertility issue for 10 years. Finally had 2 miracle kids. She got cancer and survived. I dropped dead from blood clots in my heart. And now at the age of 44 she has an affair with 29 year old and will not go to marriage therapy. I've tried everything. Im lost....

[t-pain]

My wife kinda lost it. 36F, married 10 years with 2 very young kids. She decided the marriage was over and had an affair for 1 month with a guy, and at the same time hooking up with our 22F babysittter who is kinda ghetto, but at least she’s in college. They listen to Toosii together, YouTube a song. Recently divorced. I found all the details on her Apple Watch b/c she forgot to change the password. Saw that they both got each others first initial tattooed on their wrists. Classy. Crazy part is my ex is a CPA making in the mid 6 figures. Educated and successful woman. Good riddance to trash. I like your videos.

[robofhistorique]

Thank you. Trying to get over a failed marriage of 15 years. I have a hard time not blaming me for everything that went sour in our relationship. Mentally, I'm not in a good place right now because of this. I really don't have any close friends or family for that matter. And she's moved on but I can't. Everytime I get a text or my phone rings, I wish it was her but it never is. It's hard my man. It really is.

[canadianmonte]

54, coming out of a 27 year marriage. Holy shit what a trip. Thanks for the tips.

[johnkauppi]

After a 3 year marriage where I made a 110% effort to do everything right a man can do, my wife divorced me.I was 31.I was very upset.The way I got over it was avoiding emotional attachments for a long time.Women are easily attracted to me because of my looks and would soon confess their deep feelings for me.That was when I would break it off.For a long time I just floated through relationships, emotionally distant not caring if the relationship succeeded or failed.I really dont still care if I'm alone or with someone.I like being with women but need lots of time by myself too.Marriage is a womans thing, I have no use for it.

[jdavidbolton]

Freshly divorced I’ve been struggling a lot recently, and needed some advice, and direction. Your video has gotten me started on the right track. I am in the process of making my list bc I do tend to focus on the “good” memories more than the bad.

[realrecognizereal]

Going through it right now, 20 years and she walked out on me and the kids divorce papers are here and I'm in the beginning of this metamorphic event, y'all pray for me, I'm going in the fire & coming out Gold. Thank you for the knowledge.

[Meister]

Wish I would've seen this years ago. My divorce happened 4 1/2 years ago but the memories, heartache, and pain is still there like it just happened yesterday.
I blame only myself even though she walked out on me without trying to even fight for the marriage. She promised that she would never ever divorce me yet she became cold and just walked out the door. I'd be lying if suicide hasn't come into my thoughts. I loved and still do love her. But these memories and thoughts have become poison to me and my mental health. I've tried to move on and date but I keep thinking about my ex, I hope and pray that one day soon I can free of this. Even though I wish we could get back together, she's chosen to throw away 7 years of marriage without a care. And I'm the one left heartbroken and she's happy with herself. Really isn't fair, isn't right. One day, one day I'll be free of this

[TallnBald]

Thanks for making this video. It’s obvious so many of us are in the same boat. All experiencing the same thoughts. Different reasons. I find community to be difficult but maintain my healing via workouts and any time spent with other “dads”. I find most of them won’t find time to come out due to wives controlling their time. Not to mention my X already talking with their wives. We both amicable during this divorce, yet she has gone out to all people to let them know her side of the story. She had taken away from me a moment where I could have said some things. Don’t let this happen to you. Go out there and let every one you know what has happened and how much you need their help.

[MichaelPrudhomme-ux]

Good tips. Thanks!

Analysis of this divorce experience had led me to see that it’s not the loss of love. Marriage for a man is foundational. Provider, protector, husband and dad.

When she comes to you with divorce, she’s already processed and grieved the loss. And she actually feels empowered for self.

Meanwhile, you are standing on quicksand. Your identity gone like tears in the rain. This is my 2nd divorce and I learned from the 1st; I can get over her quickly. But the kids. FK man. Dad is in the home.

Sure, father is forever but father is not dad. There are no mental gymnastics to overcome that loss. Some debts cannot be paid.

My advice is time. And so I’m giving it a year. My career, exercise, sleep, no booze or porn or politics or sports to numb. I’m going live in this 1br apt for one year and then look at the moon 🌙

I’ll see what I see and if I have peace and love then I made it through the storm. If not, plan B. Making a big change!

[Callahan-wj]

It's the emotional attachment that causes all the gut-wrenching heartache. Throw in the fact that you have young kids together and it's a living nightmare. It feels like your being punished by God and all you want is to rewind the tape and do it right. The crazy part is, I was allowed to rewind the tape, over and over. Chance after chance and it got a little better but always deteriorated. Sometimes I think I never really loved her and that was the root of the whole thing. But the attachment is no joke. You could put supermodels around me everyday and I would still just think of her. My brain is wired. I want it all to end, but don't at the same time because ending the misery would be letting go of hope (that's how it feels at least).

[GregoryBoyce-wi]

It works in stages
1 the cord cutting
2 . Falling into hatred
3. Get to forgive and let go
27 years ended bitterly

[flippedoutmom]

A bad list?! WHY haven’t I thought about this?? So simple yet so effective. Great video!

[steakslapn]

My wife and I have been together 10 years and have 2 kids under 10, I honestly feel I will miss my kids being around all the time much more, I will still see them all I want, but I miss them when they go for a sleep over. Lol, me and my wife really just want different things in life, she decided to call it quits. I tried what I could to fix but her mind is made up. We've been together since we were teenagers, in alot of ways I feel like I'm learning to grow up at close to 30. She was always taking care of paperwork and government stuff cuz she was better at it, so I depended on her alot. It's sad but exciting at the time. The thought of being able to finally chase dreams do things I assumed were not within my reach before is exciting.

[jrodgers]

Community has been helping me so much.

[bryantscott]

Good stuff. Especially the sentimental part. I’m always rewriting history making it better than it was. Thanks for the tips.