Toxic Coworkers? 4 Simple Steps to Create Protective Boundaries + Thrive - Terri Cole

Do you work in a toxic work environment? Do you work with a toxic co-worker or perhaps you are suffering under a toxic boss?

Also if you work in an office filled with drama, even if you’re not directly in a war with someone, the negativity still impacts you.

And maybe it’s not all that dramatic at all and you simply have a coworker who is nosy about your personal life or overshares about his or hers.

At the root of all of these scenarios is a lack of effective boundaries. So in this week’s episode, I am sharing 4 simple steps to create healthy boundaries at work, even with unhealthy people.

TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction
1:00 - What is a toxic work environment?
2:36 - Look at your side of the street (repeating realities)
7:50 - Harness the power of your intention
10:52 - Body language
15:40 - Make a simple request

RELATED VIDEOS:

ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

CONNECT ON SOCIAL

RESOURCES:

#terricoleshow #boundaries #settingboundaries

[skylar]

So many of these videos make it seem like you can actually make it better. i was in a toxic environment, got promoted and suddenly I had a target on my back. Every single manager turned against me and bullied me even though I was hitting every KPI, bringing quality work, trying to be positive. It was a small office and everyone was toxic or became toxic from working there. Sometimes it really is out of your control and you need to just leave.

[LizaLavolta]

So true. Toxic ppl do NOT like when you draw boundaries. One of their tactics is to throw a fit and when you don't respond they change their tune... You just hold your ground.

[jsh]

I had to draw a healthy boundary with a co worker who ran to my desk every time she had a freak out! I wait one year and as we were in a private conference room I shared that her behavior was disturbing my peace. I don’t think anyone had ever set a boundary with her! She didn’t speak to me for about 6 months . Her behavior didn’t change but she stays her distance and I’m good with that!🙏🏽💎👍🏽

[prettysuretv]

You can stay to yourself do your work and they will still cause problems for you. Pick, watch your every move. Waiting for you to make a mistake.

[JJ-yuog]

Terri - while those suggestions are great, in a (work) situation that is toxic, and uncompromising, especially toward non-management people, especially to new people, when you are so assertive to draw boundaries that is comfortable for you, and/but uncomfortable for others, you will be a target of relentless and ruthless harassment and gossip. That will be the consequence of drawing boundaries and speaking up for yourself. Even to the point of losing the job. Toxicity is called toxicity for a reason.

[caleuxx]

What I have found to be toxic at work is not only when a coworker repeatedly treats me inappropriately (recently a older male colleague pulled my hair - not in jest, totally out of context, another example of his level of human being) and when I told my supervisor, he belittled the behavior and said something in the sense of it is no big deal... so toxic coworker and toxic boss, when he refuses to deal with problems and does not have my back.

[karenmininni]

My coworkers were hostile, lazy and even made it clear they would not assist with work in any way. I tried being, kind, being humorous and finally standing up for myself. I realized I was in DENIAL big time and quit. The one manager who was supposed to be managing was rarely there so everyone tried to manage each other. Once I clearly looked at the situation I left.

[amasion]

I’ve regularly gone through toxic workplace issues. I do my best to be welcoming, helpful and friendly to new employees and they end up “clinging” and approaching me for every problem or questions about their jobs (whether I know the answers or not.). I can’t seem to strike that happy medium where I can be friendly and polite without becoming a doormat. Eventually I have to request or demand “breathing room” to do my own work and it leads to hard feelings. I like meeting people and getting to know them, but we’re on company time and we’re there to work.

[suvarnajoy]

First time I heard this kind of timely msg. Thank you so much for this amazing video. I need to hear this now .❤

[ryandunson]

Great video. Today at work I will be putting it into practice. Tired of bringing work home. Toxic

[Princess-gykx]

Repeating realities may exist in some cases however TOXIC people are just that and it has nothing to do with repeating realities especially when the person(s) Co- workers are bullies in the workplace!

[sheliawilliams]

Thank you for sharing this! I found you about a week ago because I am always looking for tools to healing from many childhood ACE’S.. I have ADHD, PTSD, and growing up with a narcissistic mother and stepfather who kept me from my biological father other paternal family(that i was unaware of until around age 12) which attracted me to your channel especially around “Healing the Mother Wound”…. I am in tears right now writing this because I need this… Thanks a million times

[koset]

Thanks, Terri. This is helpful and empowering.

[akshayhable]

This was so awsome, I kinda feel like i owe you some money!💐
Thank you !!

[juonisback]

I am currently experiencing the same in my work right now. This girl created her OWN clique and she's very clingy to the people within her clique to the point that she's becoming manipulative. She would tell people like "do not eat with them", and worst part is this girl makes up stories and bullshit things about ME to other people, without me doing anything to her because I NEVER TALKED TO HER or I couldn't recall any moment that we have to interact with each other, except that I just smile at her and greet her every morning though and she does too. But day after day, her "clingy" act and manipulative attitude is becoming obvious that most of us in our team are already noticing her and her clique's attitude.

I overheard her talking things about other people in our team and most of the time it was about ME. I'm not sure if she's really doing it intentionally to make it so obvious on my end. Sometimes she talks to her "clique" about a team decision that she doesn't agree with but when you approach her, she will respond otherwise as if she's very happy about the decision on certain points and never gives her thoughts about everything when you ask her.

[TheGodsgarden]

Excellent video as always, Terri! I love your assertiveness, kindness and sound mind advice. How come your videos don’t have millions of views? I’m going to share this one with friends. God bless you. Xoxo.

[yoyoyo]

wow I can relate to this so much.... exact same thing was happening to me thank you for this video very enlightening. I will get it together as an adult and stop doing things that are bad for my career..!!!

[Melisusy]

Super helpful video! Thank you again as always. Your information is gold.

[JAMIE-jftd]

Thankyou so much for making this video it helps so much, I have one co-worker who has been so difficult to work with and had been making things difficult with other co workers spreading fake gossip about me, I have tried so many different things and looked at so many different ways to deal with it, none of which seemed to work. It had gotten so bad that I would dread having to go into the office and was having trouble sleeping at night, but your video is so helpful and makes so much sense, it's really helped and inspired me. Thankyou so much (L&S) :)

[michellelee]

I needed this today! Thank you so much!