How To Reconnect With Your Fearful Avoidant Ex In A Way That Works | Avoidant Ex Relationship Advice

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How to Heal From a Breakup & Transform Grief

In this video, we talk about how to reconnect with a fearful avoidant. Things you need to keep in mind, how to go about it, and especially some interesting thoughts for you to consider to figure out whether this is something you want or not.

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If you want to listen in, check out Thais' podcast here:

I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#FearfulAvoidant #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #Relationships #ThaisGibson #PDS #Love #Romance #Dating #AttachmentStyles #DatingAdvice #DismissiveEx #NoContact #FearfulAvoidantAttachment

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I just hope ya'll FA's know that it's not your fault, but that when you do become more secure, you really owe folks around you a lot of gratitude because it is SO SO difficult

henryzhao
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To be honest: Fuck that. I was the best version of myself and she shut down. She got back to me like nothing happened.
I told her "Hey, I don't think I was treated right but I do see how I triggered you. Please let's just talk about it so we're on the same page". Got lashed out at, ignored for a week, dumped.

If she decides to come back I'll not do a month of casual chatting. She's in or she's out, I'm worth being treated right.

inanitas
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4-6 weeks?? Try 2-3 years…FAs string you along. Check in on you. Act like they still love you & want to meet up yet never commit & follow through. It’s cruel.

Do yourself a favor give them two proper chances to get back with you…if they don’t bite on those opportunities, then dismiss this behavior & find someone who commits & where their words / actions align.

rvolution
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Regardless what attachment style they are, you should focus on yourself after a breakup. If they want you back they should reach out. It’s unattractive to connect with someone who didn’t want you and caused you pain

ilovelearning
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Do yourself.a favour and walk away from people like this. They will cause you soo much hurt and pain, the longer you stay the harder it gets. If you're a fearful avoidant you need to put some serious effort with therapy to make yourself more secure before you try and date because the pain you will cause to your partner is horrendous, if you consider yourself an anxious person it could literally make you feel worthless and put you in a depressive state of mind. I went from being a secure person to anxious within a month of dating a FA.The rollercoaster of emotions and uncertainty was like nothing i've experience before. They discard you like a piece of trash at the end and move on like you meant nothing.

timmyturner
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This is awful…I miss her terribly. AP male here with a highly activated attachment system. Having to quit my job to get away from her. My grief is horrific.

fringbabyross
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Please please add Secure to this series on reconciling! It would be so helpful. For example, I can't imagine your average, not wildly busy Secure person hanging in there anywhere near 6 weeks of "talking" to hear someone offer some reflection or repair for the past. Thanks for all you do!

jnfrspears
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It’s hard to be friends with someone who dumped you. And to see them with new people.

dannycolwell
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Watching this as a fearful avoidant myself was was it thought I had just to work on me!
Those dynamics explain so much and I'm glad that I got to hear this side.

Lolo-ltlf
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YOU DONT WANT THIS. Take it from me he came back with so much interest in where I was going but that doesn’t mean he’s showing up with interest in a relationship. GET SOMEONE READY TO CONNECT INSTEAD OF TIPTOEING AND REOPENING WOUNDS THEY MADE IN TNE FIRST PLACE

Addease
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We did all these steps. I thought it was going great & he ended up ghosting & blocking me out of the blue! I'm so heartbroken. This was the 3rd time I had let him back in. I love him but idk if I can do it again. 😔

tinac
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Been in no contact for 7 months. Had kind of a situationship for 3 + years. I broke it off so many times because of lack of commitment from his side, him stating he had no feelings for me and me then stating my boundaries, and wanting more. He pulled away and then after some time apart came chasing me again. Classical... We did this many times. I finally had enough last year and said my goodbyes. He totally ghosted me. For 2 months. Then reappeared acting as if nothing had happened. Texting casually- "testing the waters". I suspected he had met someone new, like a FWB and called him out. He called me crazy. I wrote a lot of things- some angry and that he should leave me be if he had moved on and didn't want a relationship with me. I blocked him for my sake, he seems to have gone underground 🙄. I'm trying so hard to move on but me head is still occupied with him and thoughts of what I saw us becoming. Any advise? Should I stop hoping for a reachout from him? Guessing it could take a long time for him since he seem to be extremely dis.avoidant. Could it have hit him pretty recently that we're actually out of each others lives? He seem to listen to sad love songs but maybee that has to with the FWB and not me.

Could you make videos on how to move on? ❤️.

MsRipley
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Thanks for the info. Healing work is so important. It sounds like FA's who employ these distancing strategies are better off not dating or getting into relationships until they work on themselves bc until then, they attract unhealthy ppl (mostly AP's, some FA's & DA's) who become willing participants in a toxic and chaotic dance who end up in 'comments' section like this seeking tips on how to tolerate & endure bull$***. Healthy ppl don't put up with this crap. Pls get help and healing for yourselves. Nobody should live life this way..waiting around for someone who may or may not get back with you. Geez.

TV-wypy
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I don't want her back... but I would love to hear from her after she left out of the blue 6 months ago.

disorder_go
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Have always been pretty secure in any relationship, friend or romantic, outside of anything lasting more than 2 years which of course leans me towards anxious like anyone after that kinda time invested

2 months of the most beautiful honeymoon phase I've ever experienced or even witnessed outside of my own endeavors and then being discarded so quickly has just left me a blubbering mess of anxiety. I honestly can't believe its affecting me this much, it was such a short time but we were so in love. I dove in head first just like she did following her lead, but I broke my neck on the bottom of the pool and she got away with the handsome lifeguard. Think I pushed too hard after she left and now she's in full dismissive ignoring mode. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone, its unfathomably treacherous

MindfulPond
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Thais has an amazing amount of knowledge!

roshalllambert
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What to do when the fearful avoidant SP runs away when to close, even if they say they are crazy about you...

michelledehaen
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This stuff is so good to know, and thank you so much Thais for providing this kind of information.

At the same time… I hear these things and feel like “Jesus… this sounds exhausting…”

So, good point, like you said “is this person… moving in a positive direction? Towards becoming more secure?”

If so, terrific.
If not…

Yikes.

agent_exodus
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What if you can’t go 100% no contact. It’s my wife and we have kids and a lot of entanglements?

mccoken
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Dont reach out ever.... what this fails to address is a month of no contact is a waste of time when they are just finally starting to miss you. Depending on the length maybeeee 2 or 3 months. If it was a good relationship and not many fights happen they will reach out at some point esp if they didnt remove you on social media

ApostleThe