Two Ways to Deal with a Narcissistic Boss in the Workplace

or

Here are two ways to deal with a Narcissist Boss.

Dealing with a narcissistic boss can be challenging, but following up one-on-one meetings with an email summarizing the meeting can help mitigate some of the difficulties. Narcissistic bosses often have a tendency to take credit for successes and shift blame for failures. By sending a summary email, you can provide documentation of what was discussed and agreed upon during the meeting, which can be especially helpful if your boss tries to take credit for your work later on. Additionally, summarizing the meeting can help ensure that everyone is on the same page and that expectations are clear, which can reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts.

When dealing with a narcissistic boss, it's also important to be curious when they try to put you on the spot. Narcissistic bosses may try to assert their dominance by asking questions that put you in a difficult position or make you look incompetent. Instead of becoming defensive or reactive, try to stay calm and curious. Ask questions to clarify what your boss is looking for or to better understand their perspective. By doing so, you can demonstrate your willingness to learn and your commitment to finding solutions, which can help diffuse tense situations and earn your boss's respect. Additionally, being curious can help you gather more information about what your boss wants, which can help you anticipate their needs and avoid future conflicts.

[sfuterfas]

Never tell them anything about your personal life. Never become friends with them. Go greyrock with them. Do what you need to do to do your job. Never go above and beyond with them. Quit and find another job ASAP.

[Acquisitor]

I have had one for 7 years.
1) quit your job..
2) if quitting your job isnt possible, preserve your psyche from gaslighting, being his outlet etc by not caring

[Jerrux]

I handed my notice in to my narc boss a week ago, since then he has ignored me- never apologized for calling me names and screaming at me, or getting in my personal space to intimidate me.

I found out two days ago he has been spreading lies about me to my colleagues (who are my friends who told me), so i just up and walked out today after i was paid for the month.

he called me on my way home (not knowing my dad was besides me ajd overhearing everything) and threatened to 'redact my pay' if i dont go to work. he also said i HAD to come back into work, as i am legally bound to. but demanding someone work after their notice is handed in is literally illegal.

he then blamed me and called me childish for him screaming at me, calling me useless and stupid the week before. whenever I'd try to ask him a question to catch out the lies on the phone, he would ignore it and just throw a question my way instead - and when i pointed out he never answered my question, he yelled 'WELL YOU ARENT ANSWERING MINE NOW'


long story short, WALK OUT. LEAVE. they will never take well to anyone who questions them, which is why he tried to use scare tactics and being very patronizing to get me to bend to his needs. they are some of the worst kinds of people.

[ArielASMR]

My boss is 100% narcissist and gives me such anxiety. He never praises me in my work. Always puts me down. Talks to me like I'm a baby. He's very very controlling. Horrible man. I wish it was easy to get another job but it isn't that easy. My friend walked out bcos of him. She's now unemployed 😞. The moment she left, he had her JD up on the website. 5 yrs service he didn't give a sht. The thing is, I do like my job but I can't handle being controlled so much it's bringing me to tears. I obv don't show him that side. He would love to see me break down. I really don't know what to do. I just think.. Keep on looking for something else. The thing is... He's very charismatic to everyone else and a complete cnt with me if he's not having a good day.. If his mask slips.. he's controlling with everyone but I seem to perhaps take it personally.. I've never experienced anything like it. I'm just like anyone else on this mortal coil trying to get by in life and get on in my job. But the control is really very very intense. I don't know what he gets out of it. I wonder if he's like it with his wife and kids? Or is he just a bastard to his co-workers, his lackeys in the work place. I think his JD of CEO makes him think he's all that. Like I say, I've had some lovely bosses in jobs. Never ever like him ever. When we interviewed him he was charming as hell.. The mask of the narcissist.... I'm in a really bad place right now. 😞 If only ppl were just kinder to each other and encouraging... And not false like him. It's making me ill..

[MsPriyaLal]

This works for short term coping and managing for sure.. But long term that toxci behavior can ware you down.. So use thse strategies to manage your sanity most importantly vs change the toxic boss..

[duncabiscuit]

Great advice. Thank you. So many bosses are narcissists. Businesses tend to reward this type of behaviour because of apparent short term results, whilst not appreciating the long term effects. Supportive, caring bosses get the best out of people over the long term.

[camillereindorf]

I’m a hairstylist and my boss loves to act like I’m stupid in front of clients and tries makes me feel dumb in front of them. I’ll try the asking curious questions thing next time

[gladiammgtow]

Yep this is my Boss. The business is almost destroyed because of him. My boss can twist and turn all he likes but reality will not.

[sml]

Ya, I had to just leave. The constant stress of having them try to destroy me at every opportunity was not worth it.

[davvydivine]

Keeping records & turning it back ok them by being curious has been working best for me so far... though still frustrating at times. I don't plan working there very much longer.

[rosej]

THANK YOU for quickly getting to the point of the video in contrast to YT 30-minute, 60-minute, 2hour long videos who put the suggestion/solution at the last 5-10 minutes of the video

[jackbauer]

My new manager started 3 month ago. When i saw narc in her. I planned my exit. I will not give my 2 wks… 😂

[TimBailey-ec]

Distance, document and record these conversations. Never put yourself in harms way in any way.

[randomthinker]

Yeah putting myself in the spot infront of others is something my narc boss does all the time.. and I always defend it by saying explaining.. but it never works with them they are basically on an ego trip

[KelseysNeosho]

This is some of the best advice I wish I would have had a few years ago. I just documented but I should have followed up with an email.

[wwm]

Every week… the downside of working from home is they can mistreat you and no one is around

[QuantumInspired]

It's so sad that they deminishing you when you love your job and want to really go extra mile. So sad for the business. Trying not to care every day but need to move on. So sad situation. I know I am not the only one. I never never felt so low before, just deeply upsetting. 😢

[kumari]

My boss said in the meeting is that he has given our accountant a job to do.. he doesnt care how he gets it done. The accountant doesn't start till 11.30 then expects everyone to stay late. He shouts at the person who does his/her hours as per the contract. Accountant runs his own biz from the office, gets us to do his job too and hes always talking about one to the other and vice versa to divide and rule. Always gives unrealistic deadlines.. Managenet always takes his side and blames staff for things. No one takes any responsibility for their actions. Lots of gaslighting, lying and calling others liars, and management making excuses for the accountant's behaviour etc... realised its never going to change.. all these meetings we have are just one way conversation.. everytime you want to say something managements butt's in totally ignoring what you are saying and carry on.. 8-10 people in the meeting and couple of them speaking loudly and/or shouting... they dont care what you have to say, only they want everyone to hear what they are saying.. totally disgusting.. have no respect for them or there staff.. if they had respect for themselves as well the meeting wouldn't sound like a weekly shop to the fish market ...

[galacticman]

I went to HR about my boss. The director of my division came down and everything. Myself and the rest of the team let out our concerns, discussed their behavior, requested that supervision 1-on-1 meetings be less than 5 hours long. And now, after all that, it’s only gotten worse. Supervision meetings are now 6 and a half hours long indefinitely. On top of that, she has gotten more cruel, and almost seems emboldened to be that way. Then, I was added into a meeting with her and HER supervisor (not the director) because I allowed a little bit of my frustration to bleed into an email. Then HER supervisor threatened me by saying, “You know we really don’t need the number of workers we have” and “We can either be miserable together or happy together, and I’d rather us be happy”. I applied internally for another job, and just had an interview that seemed to go well, but if I don’t get the job, I will just leave. I’ve saved enough to keep me going for a bit until I find something new. I don’t have to stay here.

[satyasrikanth]

Thanks a lot for the general advice... I think it will help me a lot deal with mine... The first thing he always does is make me explain even if I am not wrong... I will use your strategy