The Harsh Reality about Personal Projects in the Long Run

In this video, I talk about a personal struggle I have with personal projects. As we get older, the opportunities and time for personal projects start to narrow. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

00:00 - Introduction
02:21 - 0 AGE
03:01 - 1 Will power and Discipline
03:59 - 2 You are your only boss and harshest critic
05:02 - 3 Doubts due to past experiences
06:42 - 4 - Costly
08:13 - Sacrifice other aspects of life
09:13 - So much to do, So little time
10:27 - Final words and advice

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Video Editing - Premiere

[queertales]

I find the middle part of personal projects to be the hardest, when you're past the initial infatuation with the idea, but the finish line is still not in sight.

[meatsupplies]

I was here to get learnt but I just got an existential crisis.

[ausaskar]

I just build and paint little plastic tanks, I can't even imagine doing old school animation and spending a year on 1 minute of footage lol

[Beanie]

This was a really good talk. The realities of life and aging aren't discussed that much in the art and animation community. We're so focused on improving and what it takes to get a job and glorifying all the sacrifices that have to be made. But, you're right, no matter how gung-ho we are in the beginning of our creative journeys, time catches up with us whether we like it or not. I'm reading about a lot of artists my age and even younger who are burning out already. Will our generations have older veteran animators still actively working (either for a studio or for themselves) or will we burn out before our prime?

I've found that I have more direction now than I did in my 20s, but my stamina isn't quite what it used to be. I still manage all-nighters when my art mojo is fired up, but I can feel the effects of those sleepless nights more now. I have to be precious with my time and health, and be available for my family (my husband happens to be an artist, too!).

It's important to weigh our priorities outside of what the industry demands of us or what a pro artist thinks we should do. I appreciate you being open about your life experience and sharing your knowledge with us!

[casvol]

"Sleep is for the weak, brah!"
"Indeed, and I am weak. See ya."

[CrownePrince]

This has been my whole mood of turning 30 so far. I've gotten tired of fighting and want to enjoy life more. My struggle these days is mostly choosing want to do with my time on a limited budget... and trying to not beat myself up if drawing fan art is what I feel like doing rather than tackle (again) the immense difficulty of creating truly great original worlds + characters.

[AnAngelineer]

The big problem today is the unrealistic expectations we have for personal projects. They are compared to stuff done by million dollar companies, and therefore it has become basically impossible to "wow" anyone with a personal project.
But on the other hand, it is also a "great filtering" : people who still do it and that are willing to compromise (on detail or story length) in order to pull it off over decades, are the ones that really care about their story being told. People who focus on technique and "wowing" people are often much more ego driven and don't have very interesting stories to tell!
Basically, we have to take a clue from Tolkien, the most successful amateur ever : 40 years to make one project, that is "not that big" when compared to a multinational corporation's product. But a project with a soul.

[NCHProductions]

can relate but my "personal project" is more of doing an animation thats out of the norm from my channel's content. since I run my YT channel full time, I've to crank out animation every month. My channel has been unfortunately stereotype on a certain topic and my audience have been build base on that topic solely(unfortunately and the price to pay for audience growth). so usually, when I do some animation thats not base on what "my channel is known for" the animation will not do as well as the topic I do.

Thats why everytime I start a "personal project" it means doing something thats not what I'm known for on my channel and put a gamble/risk on how sucessful the content will turn out when its released and if my audience even want to give it a chance to watch it at all.

Alot of it on the line since it would mean I would be earning lesser ad-revenue/ the 1-2months put into working on a personal project is at a lost. While I still had the benefit of patreon to settle off some of my expenses in hiring folks to help me in audio and so on, it overall is disheartening when a personal project u put out dosent get well received just because you had unfortunately build an audience expecting you for only one particular topic you're known for.

basically, its always a gamble when I start a personal project for my animation channel in hoping my audience receive it well, or else It will be a self-gratifying experience that I've done what I want to do I guess, if I've to pick the pieces of a failed one.

[colibri]

I live in France and I've spent the past months (due to coronavirus lockdown) working on a personnal project I never thought I would have start this year or finish in such a high quality.
I know this year suck but it really helped me be more productive.

[DigitalDesignDude]

9:20 I'm actually relieved I'm not the only one who felt worried about not making an impact or even completely finishing a dream project before i die.

I have so muh inspriation from all the movies, games, and stories i grew up with and i want to be able to use that inspiration in making entertainment for the current and next generation of people.

I love this industry, and even though advances in technology is helping, great things still take a lot of time to make. Years worth.

Hang in there those of you who also have the same goals. You have creative talent or are developing them for a reason and so long as you don't give up you WILL accomplish something awesome in LIFE.

[miai.]

This was so stressful to watch and reaffirmed so many of my worries. I'm having a bit of an existential crisis but it actually is nice knowing I'm not alone in these feelings. Thank you for that.

[RCN]

This totally hit me in the right spots, I have taken animation as a way to leave a legacy when I die, asi it speaks a lot about me as the creator, the hard work, the hours, weeks, months spent on as little as 3 minutes of video, with the hopes that it will live forever, but the artist doesn't. And still, those 3 minutes are the best feeling ever. The success of accomplishing something challenging, the results of many nights without sleep, and the hopes for the next project, those feelings I wouldn't change for anything.
I love your videos, and they have made me think a lot! Thank you

[PallidCrest]

This video is scary true to a lot of things that have been happening to me with personal projects.
It's very informative tho, and I wish I had this advice like 7 years ago haha.

[ReallyRedPanda]

Thank you for taking the time to make this. It's a lovely change from the crashing sea of p0SiTiviTy and jUst d0 iT that is so very popular on youtube and social media.

Of all the art disciplines that demand a hecking lot from the artist, animation is waaay up there. I'm struggling to think of anything as mind-numbingly tedious and perpetually challenging (probably some jobs in film editing). But yeah, the glamorous part of design and exploration is like 20% of the work, with 80% going to making that design move and breathe!

It's good to keep this all in mind. There's a bias in colleges and here online that unwittingly leans towards the young! Full of pep! And free time! And zest and energy! And the positivity is a great booster for anyone who has doubts about starting. The reality of any personal project though is it's just...an awful lot of sameness, isolated focus, continuous learning, repetition, repetition, repetition etc.

So yes, thank you for acknowledging this and the great advice at the end. Your first video on personal projects is exactly me at the start of anything - super enthusiastic. This one speaks more to the Me that has to actually follow through with my lofty ideas and trudge through the Work part!

[zhengistasbolatov]

In the beginning of 2020 I've decided to make a video game. It's a beat'em'up with animated comics like visuals. And yes, I'm making it on my own (artist, age 30). So, I'm learning coding, I'm drawing all the assets and well, guess I'll have to find someone to write music for me. And I've estimated to have a demo version by the june, now 7+ month of production and I'm not even close to have a demo. They say when you start making games, begin with something small, and even tho my project is not a GTA6, it's quite ambitious game for a debut, but I'm confident in my skills. Sometimes I feel lack of motivation, sometimes it seems like there is no end to this work, sometimes I spend days trying to solve some coding issues losing sleep. In my 20's I could go without sleep for 50+ hours, now if I pass 24 hours my heart rate goes up so much I can hear it, I feel sick, and etc. Sometimes I feel lack of motivation, sometimes I really enjoy the process and feel proud of my accomplishments, sometimes it's very stressful, sometimes I fear that no one will like my game. It's an emotional roller coaster. But if someone asks me "why bother? Just make money" ... I'd answer "I just can't not making stuff, not drawing". (I just needed to let this out, thanks for the great video.)

[jamkat]

I've been experiencing a lot of what you're talking about. How serendipitous.

[alexandravargova]

This is exatly all the things I struggle with and not only on personal projects, but also projects from work....I feel like I am just working and dont have time for anything...and at the end of the day you got paid so terribly, that you start realizing that even though you love this job you dont know if you should continue with animation at all.

[Eggbubble]

Another great video Toniko! Thanks for your effort on making these videos and talking about your experiences. And one that is so important!
I think one of the most important things is that at the end of the day, work on what makes you happy. It will be difficult, and all the problems you mentioned, but if the personal project just makes others happy and not you (hence, the word PERSONAL project), it will just be too exhausting and a lot of times not worth it (for the practice, sure, but that could be anything else). Even if its things that many people won't like, even if people push you to try other things instead or do what you are doing but in a different style or way. As someone who is approaching their 30s and which has had lots of problems working on my personal projects: time is precious, pick your battles carefully, and be true to yourself (oh, and don't forget that one's opinions and likes can change with time. Embrace that change in your projects, even if its a very years-long one)

[dublinphotoart]

Hey life is HARD with or without a passion project... 🤣 life is HARD even when its going well 🤣 but doing things in the hope it will help others will give your life and your efforts meaning regardless... 😎

[kazmos_art]

Younger artist: " Wdym? We just gotta crunch our time to finish it. "

Toniko: " You wouldn't get it. "


Tbh the older I get, the more I understand to plan my time better, for sleep, work, studies, etc. This vid did give me another kick to the head to really think things through.