What Drives A Narcissist's Exaggerated Self Importance?

Narcissists can have insufferable levels of self-importance, to the extent of truly convincing themselves of their superiority over you. What's that all about? Dr. Les Carter offers keen insights about a predominant characteristic that props up their false narrative. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

📣 Dr. Carter's new course, Anger Games, is now available! 📣

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his YouTube channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.

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Dr. Carter has three other courses that you may find to be useful:

[BaraSchmidt]

A narcissist is driven by self- concocted self-importance. Everything, EVERYTHING else is transactional, fodder, supply...Stay Healthy!

[Leviajohnson]

On point as always. Can’t count how many times I was called a burden as a child for staying under their roof, benefiting from their mortgage, eating their food and sitting on their furniture they bought. Imagine saying that to your child. It’s unthinkable. What a joke!

[Cassie-ptmt]

My older sister was the Golden Child. I was the Scapegoat. We were raised in an abusive, neglectful, alcoholic family.

A mutual friend of ours once said, "You and your sister are so different. She expects everything and that's what she gets. And you expect nothing and that's what you get."

[christiebell]

This describes my husband 100%!!!! Thank you, Dr. Carter, for this explanation. I admitted myself in the hospital last week. I had an absolute nervous/mental breakdown! It was the best 4 days! The doctors and psychiatrists were so caring and validated all of my emotions due to the gaslighting and exhausting 24 years of marriage. I've been called crazy almost every day. My therapist has told me for 2 years that I am perfectly sane. The psychiatrists told me I am certainly sane, and they could tell I had been mentally abused for many years. 😢 In the hospital, I felt calm, at peace, no headaches and no muscle aches, no brain fog/confusion. I was able to realign and reset. I came home feeling stronger and more assured in my thoughts, opinions, and emotions. I pray I will never "break" again like I did a week ago. It is a dark place I don't ever want to be in again.

[AlwaysStampinVideos]

What’s really hard, DrC, is when that’s all you have. When it’s what you’ve grown up with and married into, it’s so hard to leave. And for awhile it’s hard not to go back to. I finally stopped going back. But it sure is difficult to make new friends, especially ones who feel like family. Still, being lonely and away from all of that is still far better than the alternative. At least I am lonely and at peace instead of with people who constantly chose their hubris over their relationship with me.

[roxymovie]

Checklist of Narcs hubris:

1. Exaggeration of one's personal uniqueness
2. Insufferable superiority
3. Chronic condescension
4. Dismissive with extra measure of haughtiness
5. No need to admit wrong
6. No need to seek forgiveness
7. Insulting, then feeling justified
8. No remorse for belittling others

Byproducts of Narcs hubris:

1. Incapable of receiving direction
2. Very low insight regarding personal skills
3. Very easy anger
4. Holding grudges readily
5. No compassion for others
6. No empathy for others

What's going on with them?

1. They may have sociopathic tendencies
(no rules apply for them)
2. Drawn toward authorian patterns
3. Expect the position of privilege
4. Easily abusive
5. Defenses are off the charts
6. Their selfishness will be their undoing

Be aware:
》Hubris is 100 % phony confidence
》They are outside reality, delusional
》You will not be happy with such a person
》Remove yourself as soon as possible
》Prepare for predictable blame

Dr Carter 👨‍🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈

[annemariepeterhoff]

I asked my husband after fifty years if he ever loved me his answer was "I cared" that was the exact day I knew it was over, and more importantly he never did!

[callalilly]

"I'm the smart one here."
"Helping me is a privilege."
"Do you think I want to be here?" -"here" being the home I had provided for a narcissist whose only other option was the street.

These are actual statements he said to me.

[aaronkwolfe]

Overcompensation would be my guess, based on experience. The one I’m thinking about was dismissed, ignored, trivialized (as opposed to the golden child sister), and had to conjure an inflated ego, in order to justify her own existence.

[chadandrews]

My latest non romantic NPD seemed to have a “triple strategy” 1. Always telling stories about his and families’ accomplishments 2. Minimal (no?) empathy or interest in anything I had to say 3. Clever put down jokes or innuendoes. With his wife not present he told me she was smarter than Bill Gates. When she was present he made fun of her for not learning Spanish very well.

[stlnola]

My ex narc was every single thing you described in this video. She said, “ you were feeling very hurt and I am not responsible for that. I did nothing to hurt you.”

[flyingeaglewoman]

People in positions of power with these traits are very damaging… Indeed they would willingly take others down in flames rather than concede to the well being of the people they represent.

[sandralevy]

I find they lie a lot. Poor self confidence is a trait that really stands out with the one I'm dealing with. This is a relative. It gets old after a while.

[qvnwdqf]

Such behaviour is overwhelming, sociopathic and scary to the max!

[ricardajames]

Dr. Carter, you just explained my narcissistic mother to a 'T'. I have been in therapy throughout my life, and since April 2022, I have gone no contact from her. I'm in therapy, on my spiritual healing journey, and finally loving myself and my life. Thank you very much for sharing this video and your wisdom 🙏 🌼. Blessings to you and everyone on this channel 🎉

[darinsmith]

In a way I am glad I saw this video and in a way I am not.. What you said describes someone I know very well.. That person is gone and just returned.. What I am not looking forward to doing is the work to get out of my self appointed people-pleasing role.. This is where I need to make a conscious effort to start making interior and exterior boundaries..

[robinsmith]

My husband and his family (except the mother) talk about themselves, their accomplishments, and gossip about others. I was not introduced to his family until after we were married. I meant my husband in college. Hindsight: 😢😮 Anytime spent with them is exhausting and I am just silent. I have been asked why I stay with my husband. One reason, he loves to help other individuals and is gifted with intelligence. He has his mother’s heart / but the personality of his self centered father. I choose to look deeper and I know longer need a relationship that is reciprocated. I have been told (48years) I don’t respect him, I just remain silent. I created my own world (book club) with amazing friends. I do have a counselor and your courses as well as books. Crazy life but it works, he needs me more than I need him. 😂😂

[AnnMarie-pycy]

They are so grandiose it is like they are a visiting arrogant celebrity . Probably it is an over compensation for no ego strength. Keep your distance because there has to be sociopathy involved to act that grand.

[Yatukih_]

I wrote a short story about Neil Gaiman and it discussed narcissism, and in the story, it is hypothesised that some narcissists create alien alter egos which they succumb to later in life. Thanks for your video!! Best wishes from Iceland!!!!

[venus]

Hi Dr C, I just asked my boss with a strong narc streak to be more respectful when talking to me. I work for The Australian Greens, who should be good at being egalitarian. I did it very kindly and I'm glad I did (I think she is on the narc spectrum) - it's up to her now 👍🌟