Raised by a Borderline Parent? What you need to know

Have you ever felt like you were constantly walking on eggshells with a parent? Unsure of what mood they'd be in next, caught in their drama, or hesitant about their intentions?

If so, you may have experienced a form of abuse related to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

In today's video, we delve into what BPD is, how it differs from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and shed light on how it can manifest in a parent. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for scapegoat children seeking healing and recovery.

If you resonate with this video, it's vital to recognize that the abuse you endured was not your fault. You can learn more about this by grabbing your FREE copy of my book, "Surviving Narcissistic Abuse as the Scapegoat."

#jayreid #jayreidpsychotherapy

[ashleyinmexico]

The ability to switch from anger to sweetness is why no one believes you when you try to get help from others.

[carolynlindstrom]

Having a mom with BPD was a living hell every single day. We should never been left in that madhouse

[MissMonotheist]

"overly invested in the goings on of other people" lol what a polite yet spot on description

[YasminYoruba]

I feel sorry for my mum for having this. However I’m disappointed she didn’t tell me till I was almost 30! She also didn’t do what she was meant to do after being diagnosed. I suffered as a child and young adult. I can’t explain the pain I suffered being in that environment. I’m moving forward now though and do realise it’s not her fault for being this way and nothing she said was actually personal. Prayers to you all ❤

[Bornintoclusterb]

This describes my primary “caregivers” NPD and BPD. It’s hell on earth.

[p.t.]

I hit the jackpot as a kid. One is a Malignant Narcissist, and the other is BP.

[rinowx]

This is so shocking and comforting. Just realized that my parent has had BPD throughout my entire life (30) and I appreciate the information. I thought I was going crazy.

[catjones]

Did anyone else identify strongly to the phone call induced persona switching ?

[bonnenaturel]

Wow, I finally get why mom can hate someone one minute and plead for help in getting away from them then be their best friend the next minute and chastise me for mentioning the conflict from yesterday.

[aniokay]

This is shocking to hear. It is shocking to realize that children are raised in such chaotic environments. It should be illegal to witness this and ignore it for other grownups....

[atelier]

“they are aware of power dynamics” they KNOW who they can abuse and sound off on and who they can’t. My mom rarely saw anyone outside of the family because she couldn’t get away with the bat shit with others, but with children, vulnerable children, who needed her for everything’s and whose self worth become dependent on making her happy (impossible)

[taniabluebell]

The borderline is violent. My mom and younger sister are both borderline’s. They are vampires. They need others to regulate themselves.

It’s interesting how Amber Heard kept throwing bottles at Johnny. My younger sister’s favorite weapon was to throw soda cans at me, striking me in the head when I had my back to her. She’s also closed fist punched me in the back of the head.

When I was really depressed due to the abuse from my family, my sister came over unannounced. My house was a mess since self care was not a priority given my depression. During my sister’s visit I set her off, which didn’t take much. That’s when she unleashed her narcissistic rage. See then started taking pictures of my messy home and said she would share it with everyone.

The borderline has self control. How do I know this. They know how to behave in public or when there are witnesses. I reject the premise that it’s subconscious and they don’t know what they’re doing. Their identity is “victim”.

My sister also tortured her boyfriends. I’m glad borderline and histrionic personality disorder are finally being shared with a national audience.

[erikavaleries]

Happy Mother’s Day to Survivors who raised themselves while appeasing an untreated, personality-disordered parent. This video will tell you if were also raised by an Amber Heard! No wonder this trial is so obvious to me & triggering. I assumed from the law breaking, rage, & violence it was more likely Sociopathy in my experience (& with Amber). My abuser definitely has this type of malignant Borderline as well as Narcissism.

I thought borderline was about cutting and self harm, not rage & violence towards others. It seems worse than Narcissism IMO!! I think my grandmother had Histrionic because she was always very sweet, affectionate, & generous in a superficial way but also dramatic and prone to conflict. Being raised by women like this can be completely life ruining. The whole family had to revolve around them, or else. The price of non participation is like leaving a cult or the mafia.

She could never stay close to anyone without constant rejection, criticism, nitpicking, devaluation, sabotage, manipulation. The recipient of the abuse would switch around the family or even outsiders used to create “jealousy, ” when in fact we would be relieved she turned her hyper fixation on someone else. Idealization is always followed by cruelty, gossip, character assassination, & destroying the trust and any connection. Then a silent treatment when you wonder what you did wrong to be receiving false rumors, hate mail, & stalking, followed by demands to caretake her feelings again with no apology, lots of blame & gaslighting, and zero discussion of the abuse, as if it never happened.

[mores]

Does a borderline mother enjoy emotionally hurting her child? My mother loved bringing me down, taking me from happy to anxious, ashamed, and humiliated. I could see in her eyes she enjoyed it. I became no longer ever cheerful. I'm trying to understand my life, at this late age, either that or be engulfed in difficulties. This is the first I considered maybe she was borderline. Your videos are so thoughtful and helpful -thank you.

[carospereman]

Well, I now know why my mother emptied the entire contents on my room and put all my stuff including the bed on the front porch. I was on my bike one day and she called to me; I didn't acknowledge her and didn't stop bicycling. I have been wondering why she did this for a long time. Jay, I have said this time and time again, your assessments are so correctly detailed that one could easily understand what they went through and recover from negative family origin. Thank you for putting out vids, you are helping a lot of people understand and heal.

[sanaon]

Being a child of a BPD parent is very exhausting and mentally taxing everyday.

[frau_ic]

With such a parent, relationships with significant others are always an arena of competition with you. You are always a thorn in their side, especially when you are still small and cute. They compete with you for the love of the other parent, their own parents, and so on.
That, to me, is the main differentiator from the narcissist.

[julianbrose]

I grew up with a BPD mother with what seems like an infinite rage and hate. She is 95 now and still as evil as ever. I fear she’s going to outlive me and I’ll never know the feeling of release when she’s dead.

[TheMoonRain]

I’m curious about why a parent would be disinterested in how they affect the child? That’s the unforgivable part. And when that parent purposely tries to cause hardship on the child. I’m also curious about a parent who tries to get a child kidnapped on purpose and not care what happens to them. It’s as if they feel the child’s life is garbage to throw away.

[KikyKreemcheese]

describing my childhood, growing up and adult life with my mother almost word for word