The Interpersonal Problems in Borderline Personality Disorder #shorts

WANT TO START IN THERAPY? Here’s a convenient and affordable option with my sponsor BetterHelp

For a monthly fee, you get a REAL licensed therapist with whom you can meet weekly by phone, video or chat. You can also send daily messages.

Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[codeman]

For all the questions about impaired empathy, do not mistake it for “lack of empathy.” That’s not what “impaired” means. People with BPD have empathy for what they feel towards others, however it’s not cognitive, or reasoned. Rather, those with BPD project emotions onto other people, becoming “mind readers, ” assuming they know how that person is thinking or feeling, what their intentions are. How this plays out is in relationships/friendships that go south. The person with BPD’s highly subjective thought process isn’t reasoning with the other person’s point of view. They ASSUME the other person’s point of view, which leads to misunderstandings. Ever tried to defend yourself against someone with BPD’s accusations? They are so convinced of THEIR own viewpoint, they don’t believe yours, and they steamroll the conversation/argument. This break in communication destroys relationships and it stems from a lack of true ability to reason and understanding the other side.
People with BPD can be intelligent, but it’s like their amygdala and hippocampus hijacks their impaired prefrontal cortex and steps on the gas. That may be an oversimplification of it.

IF they’re aware of their intelligence and have been “right” enough times in their life, they’re likely to believe they’re always right and the other party is either lying or wrong.
It’s the adoration/demonization process. Finding the balance, calmly reasoning with the other side, feeling tough emotions without getting overwhelmed - that’s what impaired empathy causes.

This is often why you see people with BPD preferring the company of animals and infants, as neither are able to voice their thoughts or opinions into words that disrupt the BPD’s peace. The BPD person is able to project “they love me, they love me! They need me!” without interference.

[RhiannonClarkMusicofficial]

Being emotionally neglected, whilst being on the spectrum and growing up, in an environment where you were loved by one parent and hated in by the other can cause people to have symptoms of bpd.
I know this from experience, and I self Healed.
I also had CPTSD.
All except, Being Autistic can be Healed.
It's not a forever thing if you seek to find ways to heal ✨️ ❤
I am living proof. I've been with the same man for 6 years ❤

[skabarella]

I think, a lot of people get misdiagnosed with BPD, when what they are actually struggling with, is CPTSD. Traumatic upbringing with inconsistent / abusive /neglectful "parenting" will have exactly that result: a deep rooted mistrust in other people and themselfes. The overlap of symptoms from BPD and CPTSD is significant and in around 20 years of therapy, including group therapy settings, I met not one person diagnosed with BPD that had a normal childhood. There was always abuse, neglect etc.

[margaretcampbell]

Dr Marks could you do an in-depth talk about borderlines specifically about their depression, and anger issues and what generates their anger. Also can you describe how their traits block the functioning of emotions compared to normal healthy individuals. It is no wonder they behave as they do as I believe their abandonment issues come from severe neglect in parenting, their anger issues also arise from constant put downs from nearly everyone around them as nobody can see they are struggling to adapt to a world they experience so differently than others. Abuse of all types I believe figures so much in their anger issues and this abuse is continuous throughout their childhood. Why would they not be angry?

[eastafrika]

At the core of borderline disorder is grief, death of a mother or caregiver, submission to the violent limitations of a caregiver who themselves were dead inside and felt inadequate and deprived them of independence.

[saras.]

A lot of people with Cluster B disorders such as BPD or NPD had parents who related to them in a split fashion (all good/all bad).
For instance, my mom was great with babies. I was a good, obedient daughter…mom and I were deeply in love…until I turned 12. Then I started “talking back” which must’ve triggered her because she slapped me in the face. I learned that no matter how close you think you are to someone, they can do a complete 180 and devalue and abuse you. I’m never safe.

Fast forward to 30 years later, and I have problems with my brother and best friend because they won’t validate that something abusive happened to me. They are team Mom. Which makes me feel alone, misunderstood, and not important. Also always hungry for empathy that what happened to me truly was harmful.

The longer I go without that hunger filled, the more frustrated and irritable I get, and the more negative view I have of others. Which to others probably makes me look emotionally unstable.

[liferadous]

This clip is so misleading, and I think meant to appeal to people who have had a bad experience with someone who had or they believe had BPD. People with BPD feel visceral empathy-- other people's pain and compassion for it-- to a degree that is overwhelming. It's the kind of empathy that involves accurately reading intent that gets warped during an episode, when they go into threat mode they see disapproval, hostility and anger where it isn't and perceive neutral things as negative-- AND, the rest of the time, pwBPD score higher on average on tests of recognizing emotions in facial expressions and body language, so it's very disorienting when it happens. Also messed up to say self-harm is interpersonal-- this comes from the old interpretation of cutting as a manipulative tactic rather than a way to replace emotional pain with physical, as it's now understood.

[shaun_rambaran]

hmm... I feel this one needed to be a longer video. I wish there was some elabouration.

[ItsMeNanaD]

I need “impaired empathy” elaborated on so badly. I suffer from BPD & am extremely empathetic. I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety & depression, which has turned me extremely introverted.
I’m just a mess tryina get it together.

[frankiem]

More than I fear being abandoned, I fear being betrayed and I feel like all of my loved ones are plotting on me. I see everyone as an enemy and I treat them as such.

[Rocketman]

My experience is that I got more emphaty than most people. In certain complex situations though I just need to turn it off to be able to cope since the feelings are so strong.

[JusticPourTous]

I feel like this impaired empathy theory is so invalidating. I have BPD & my intense feelings of empathy have gotten me into so much trouble because I empathized with broken men & given them so many chances and excused their toxic/abusive behaviour because I knew about their past traumas.
I’ve made so many excuses for my abusive mother because I empathized with the pain she was carrying. I pushed my feelings & safety aside for other people because of how deeply I cared for them. I truly believed that if I loved them hard enough, it could help them in the long wrong. But I know now how delusional I was for thinking I could fix them. Narcissistic people rarely change

[marybeth]

I actually had immense empathy and was miss diagnosed. Cptsd and autism. A correct diagnosis is beyond crucial!

[JoyFay]

Why impaired empathy and not attachment and shame issue

[aludtke]

Doing everything to a person that you unjustly suspect them of doing will leave you without them

[tracierendell]

Thank you. I always love your information. I love your make up today too

[peterwaugh]

Certainly, there is the misbehavior in community or hospital settings. You can interact in that way.

[Clevelandsteamer]

They fear being abandoned then make it happen

[Whogaftbh]

No, I don’t think so. Not even cognitive vs emotional. To me, and to many professionals, it’s about misperception. It’s like the worst thing that can happen when you’ve lived a childhood of intense trauma where you wanted to protect yourself but could not— but once you could, you literally distort reality when you get into a heightened emotional state so that you launch into “ILL SHOW YOU(!) FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY BY ABANDONING OR BETRAYING ME!!!” when in fact that isn’t even happening. Hence the self fulfilled prophecy aspect with our relationships being unstable. We set ourselves up by reacting to things that aren’t even happening.

[breao]

I have BPD and I absolutely have more empathy than I know what to do with me. I’m just afraid