How to Diffuse a Narcissist

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🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.

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The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

[izawaniek]

True. Using a calm voice and not getting emotionally triggered is the best way to deal with narcisists. Only If you have to deal with them, the best of the best is zero contact. Thank you.

[taraarrington]

Sometimes it really sucks to be the only adult in the room but I've gotten used to it dealing with these kinds of people 🤷

[maryw]

Thank you Chris I have found this technique to work you can’t reason or have an ordinary conversation with a narcissist person they can go from zero to 100 in a blink of an eye this last year my husband has compound his narcissist personality with dementia no violence thank heaven I heard Alzheimer’s is often associated with violence

[tericollier]

I can see both working because in the past, the only way I could get him to stop in a few minutes was for me to become louder than him. But then, afterwards, I could lower my voice down. Sometimes, if I didn't get louder than him, then he would never hear what I was saying, not to mention whether he registered and remembered the conversation later.

[wayneelliott]

Yes, raising your voice feeds the narc. They love the competition. Mother Dearest who provoked arguments with every interaction would display a satisfied smirk when achieving that, then accuse you of being emotional/unbalanced. The old man learned to be silent, about which she would complain that he never spoke. If the narc won a lottery they’d find something wrong with it.

[mikehess]

In NLP it's called matching and pacing. Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

[Amanda-Mazzullo]

I just spoke with my exs lawyer who got an attitude with me on the phone, and I can say being calm will definitely work. I also recorded it so that also could have been that, he doesn’t know know any of that yet though lol. Being annoyed is probably what got that response, it’s kinda hard to think that yelling will result in diffusion. I also feel like if this case caused him so much trouble he shouldn’t have taken it though🤷🏼‍♀️. He’s only just barley began to deal l with what I’ve had to for over 9 years now, and he gets paid to. When professionals don’t act professional record it and save it for later. It happens what seems like to often.

[jbd]

Might work on certain kinds of narcs but when you're the weaker one, it will never work. Narcs will get more and more aggressive. Some narcs will bait you into acting aggressive as an excuse for them to get even more so aggressive with you.

[grrrrb]

Not from my experience. Staying calm and keeping my emotions in control infuriated my nex of 33yrs, she would always escalate regardless..

[saab]

Best ever advise ... believe me I am doing it every day

[melodyslocum]

what do you say to a cop or a judge? Late night dj voice to slow attackers Im going to practice..

[brucelyons]

My attacker wants silence. So she rules .she's had me arrested for speaking inside my residence. She recorded me reading my statement that I wanted to send them .she's oppressive silent any voice any word I say she's thinks is about her so paranoid..I vent in my yard about all sorts of stuff I'm thinking about .and need to for my ptsd .she's a vigilant stalker recording me

[FleetwoodCaddy]

Raising my voice always makes things so much worse. I stopped talking long ago