Narcissists Circular Arguments| How to NOT Get Sucked In

This monthly membership meets live on zoom every week - each month we have a different theme. For the month of August we are learning how to regain balance in the nervous system after narcissistic abuse. In September we will be deconstructing the self image that narcissistic parents and/or narcissistic wife/husband created and conditioned you to have and learning how to re-construct the self image of your authentic self.
One last thing about the monthly membership - it combines cognitive learning, interactive group support and coaching as well as somatic healing modalities like EFT and Breathwork!! It's the combination of cognitive and somatic healing that helps create lasting change!! There are people from all over the world in this membership from Canada, South Africa, UK, Ireland, Germany, India, Spain and all over the U.S. just to mention a few. Will you join us?

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[manfredmann]

If someone says, “I’m sorry you feel that way” then that is a telltale sign.

[LittleMsLibra]

I’ve finally realized the power of disengagement… I’ve never been concerned with winning, just being heard, well now I don’t even care about being heard. I just want peace ✌🏾✨.

[neveragain]

My god, nothing more drives me crazier then these circular conversations.

My blood pressure goes through the roof. My anger is through the roof.

I find it ironic the person im having the conversation with staus calm and focused all the way through.

They arnt right in the head. They find joy in these conversations.

[Lyrielonwind]

Once you spot a narcissist, best thing to do is avoid any conversation at all.

[timhawthorne]

You will never have conflict resolution with a narcissist.

[tryingtosurvive]

OMG! Yes, when I pointed how my narc husband made me feel with his actions and words, he brings up something I said 33 years ago. I just said, really that’s all you got? What I said 33 years ago…

[goldieh]

So true! They want us dependant on them to dictate our reality. Its one thing for them to say that they don't agree with something we said, it's another thing to insult us for our opinion.

[luckycharm]

Both my parents are covert narcissists. I believe that they do the damage on an unconscious level. Consciously they try to be better people and want others to see them that way but their pattern and conditioning makes them to resort to their unhealthy coping mechanisms. Circular arguments are very common here at home. I don't remember having normal discussion with them.
Everything ends with shaming or blaming. So I use this method as you suggested here and it's called as the broken record method.
I don't even acknowledge their blame but put forth my point and walk away. Also using "I feel" with narcs only backfires coz they love to use it against you. Instead try calling out their intention like, when you said or did that it made you appear jealous or disrespectful. Prepare to be gaslighted but it only means it had an impact on them.
Narcs respond well to shame so include "what will people think." I know it sounds like manipulation but if you are living with hyenas and wolves then you need to be the dragon there (not a lamb).

[risingeagle]

Hi!

You should have told me this 32 years ago. 🤣

I got stuck and taught my narcissistic wife how to use my buttons inadvertently.

They are good at twisting what a person states at any given time by way of “Word-smithing”.

It’s a frustrating experience.

Your channel has been a a wonderful godsend that has helped me to heal and recover. Thanks!!!!

Keeping putting together this useful content to get over (and recover) from NPD abuse.

😁👍🏾🥰

[actionpls.]

You'll truly appreciate a (normal) relationship after a narcissistic none relationship. Now, this is someone I can reason with.

[MJay]

That big sigh at 4:07 is exactly how it feels having the thought of arguing with a narcissist go across your mind.

[fleep]

What you "hope" for will only be what you get. A continuing cycle of "hope" that well never be met.

[blurglide]

I'd always ask my Narc ex girlfriend "how many more laps around this topic would would like to take?"

[lil--mo]

Loving someone who does this to you is one of the worst experiences in life. I see how Stockholm Syndrome occurs.

[Creating]

They also spin it back on their childhood issues to try and make it not their fault.

[Bornintoclusterb]

Excellent Michele! The best way out of a circular conversation is - don’t enter into one.

[janellemmedina]

I completely must agree. No matter the amount of effort I put towards making my partner understand my concerns they remain unheard.
Confusion has become the norm for just about every conversation. Nothing ever is resolved and it has begun to evoke such a rage inside of me that I am actually starting to feel hatred towards my other.
I have become so argumentive and constantly find myself bickering at everything my partner may do differently towards myself from others that it looks like I am such a toxic individual. Insecure and jealous I can not help but feel so alone at times. I know this is not healthy for me. But he will not accept the fact he must leave. We have fallen in such a cylce of abuse without the physical abuse present. All gaslighting, abandonment and neglect and less physical affection withheld unless it's in his terms. I wish it were easy to escape. I would rather be alone than to suffer like this.

[楊宜強]

I remember my mom always saying to my father, "you're a broken record " and that's exactly what is going on. He is scoring a record on how many times and situations he could break her. Then she would be so drained she could barely continue being the fantastic mother to us. He would be so happy and satisfied, leave and take long walks to stay healthy...and be ready to do it again. Mom still accomplished being the best mother !!

[otherworlder]

My nex says I never want to resolve anything. He tries to turn it around so I look like the bad guy and when I say you’re trying to make me look like the bad guy he says it’s not a competition. It never ends.

[andrew_trucker]

That’s the biggest thing they don’t want to
Grow or learn they want to hate you