How To Baffle A Narcissist

It's common for people to complain about how baffling narcissists are and how impossible it is to blend with them. The truth is that they love to gaslight you into feelings of confusion. But what if you turned the tables by deciding you won't play along with their mind games? It's possible that you can respond in ways that baffle the narcissist!

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[goldilocks]

Being ethically immovable is what really baffles them. They are very confident they can manipulate you by weakening your boundaries. If they can’t, they really can’t figure out what has “gone wrong” 🤔😇

[kevindavis]

My new favorite line is...
"as a former 2yr old myself, I can relate to your tantrums'

[soloman]

Narcissists crave relevance. It baffles them when they're irrelevant to you.

[brg]

The littlest things trip them up. They aren't too bright.

[colleenshea]

After learning (finally) to understand and emotionally manage the narcissist - I find the biggest pain of it all is the certain knowledge that nothing can be done with this relationship at all. It is a limited relationship that must be controlled and has no breadth or meaning because everything is based on the falseness of the narcissist. This is painful when it is a family member or long standing friend.

[dumblizzie]

Success - give them boundaries, don't show emotion, stay calm, expose them covertly to everyone, no contact, laugh, have fun without them - watch them die inside cos they lost absolute control, they play the victim, make you look like a nut job - true self revealed, games up😂

[shelley]

The covert I deal with operates a bit differently. They do things to annoy you to get your attention, and then if you take the bait and argue, they blame it on you. I've learned to remove myself mentally and physically. It's amazing though the lengths they will go to get your attention. They really are children in so many ways. Thanks, Doc, another great video!

[cashway]

A lot of narcissist will be mad at you for sticking up for yourself because they weren't able to stick up for themselves against the narcissist in their lives that controlled them.

[ChildoftheLIGHT]

“We clearly think very differently.” No need to say anything further.

[DJDaveParks]

“i really don’t think i need to defend myself like i have in the past” that’s gold, will add that to my lexicon 👍

[secondhorizon]

Vanish (disengage) abruptly w/o any "farewell" spoken.

[istateyourname]

Through Doc's teachings and other resources, I endeavored NOT to engage a coworker who was angling for a conflict. She looked as if she was about to self destruct.

[joshuaanzalone]

I have cut them all off and none of them are welcome in my life in any way and noone controls me. Like you said doc, I stand on my truth and my dignity

[daynapeterson]

My narc mother was always an instigator. Loved to stir me up. I would fall into her trap every time. I would become emotional and argue back. Had no idea she was feeding off of it. I am free now; went no contact a year ago. Life is drama-free and no chaos.

[blueseptember]

Your self respect has to be real. Because if youre faking it youll give in eventually and be super bothered and retaliatory

[anjanettesagona]

I love Dr. Carter because he always spells out what to actually DO. From today's video ... When they accuse, gripe and complain: offer simple self affirming comments: 1) Say, I know that I don't make sense to you, but I make sense to me. 2) Simply say no. 3) Say, That's the decision I've made. In addition: A) Turn down invitations to argue or gripe in reverse, given words will fall on deaf ears. B) When they come at me with anger, choose detachment. Pure gold, Dr. Carter.

[stanleydrive]

Oh dear Doc, how much I wish you could have explained all this to me when I was a kid. You make my heart feel better! Sending you a giant hug🧡🧡🧡

[lindaadams]

Narcissists are overbearing bullies... I went no contact twenty-five years ago... Loving yourself is your first priority...

[Ohjustlovely]

For me, keep a journal. don't need to elaborate, just write date, time, things like "Phyllis said good morning to everyone but me. I said good morning, and she said "Ugh, you again." Nobody but me heard it. This encounter was rude and uncalled for. I turned back to my work, acted like it was normal." This journal helped me because later she will gaslight and say I was never pleasant, and she would gossip all kinds of falsehoods.

I also tell myself I am fine the way I am.i am kind and treat everyone with respect. And I do t care what Phyllis says or thinks of me, because I have plans and friends and I will succeed in my life.

[TRL]

In a nutshell: "Don't Engage". But you can only do this for so long when living with a narc partner. You end up cutting off, shutting down, finding a quiet corner or an empty room. I did this - but then I found out her ex partner had done this too! That was my light bulb moment and what led me to find out more about this narcissistic use and abuse. (I had noticed a pattern of similar behaviour in myself and her ex) 3 years on from leaving - still surviving and learning!