What My Depression Feels Like

MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, shares with the audience a brief description of what his Depression feels like. Hopefully, this can help someone better understand what those who struggle with Depression may be experiencing.

#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #medcircle #psychology #livedexperience #depression #livingwithdepression #depressionrelief #depressionmanagement #depression

[khumarbabanli]

Depression is when you are living your life because you have to, not because you want to.

[angelacahill]

Bingo. I described it as, "everything feels like way too much effort to bother, and nothing matters enough to care about." Dread, overwhelm, mental & physical exhaustion.

[peterwickham]

I have been there.. and I got through it and healed. I had suppressed memories of childhood trauma. Now happy, great job, rewarding relationship. You can beat this too, you can be free and whole. Much love.

[mkdutta]

I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it would ever know how it feels like...
and I would pray no one ever has to feel or fall into depression
once in, one can never get out

[rijd]

When people think they're "lazy" or fatigued or overwhelmed, it can actually be depression in disguise if it lasts more than a few days. It's so important to be kind to ourselves and not be ashamed of depression. The book "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels really helped.

[zabidahkaramin]

Depression, pretending to be okay, even believing your own lies, and the lies don’t stay there when you’re alone. You may cried while you smile, nobody knows what’s in your mind until you’re no longer there

[negativezero]

I describe it as feeling almost exactly like the immediate grief from the death of someone close. You don't want to do your favorite things, you just want to stay in bed, you're not interested in your favorite foods - or maybe you're only interested in your favorite foods, for comfort.
The best ways to help yourself & cope is pretty much the same as with grief as well: spending time with friends & family, or even just enough friendly people each day, going to therapy & /or writing out your thoughts, focusing on your health, getting sunshine, gratitude, etc. Basically a combination of taking good care of yourself whilst also distracting yourself (in a healthy way!!!) from all the negative thoughts with all the positives in life.
The differences being that Depression (the disorder, not the feeling) & grief usually take different amounts of time to start feeling better, depression is from chemical imbalance rather than a life event, (you're grieving "over nothing" in the outside world, it's all internal, which isn't your fault, btw) & depression will come back if you don't at least periodically keep up with your (healthy!!! I cannot stress this enough) coping strategies.
Of course this is just my experience & what has worked for me, but I feel it's a helpful way to explain what it feels like to those without depression. The ways to feel better also line up with what professionals say for both grief & depression & it isn't hurting anyone so I'm keeping this ingrained in me belief system until proven wrong lol

[zyawotha]

sometimes my depression gets so bad that i just cry for no reason, its painfull

[evrebop]

Depressed is when you go to bed at night hoping to not wake up in the morning

Depressed is not being able to complete necessary tasks that you know you need to do, you might even want to do…. But you physically cannot do it

Depressed is trying to patch over the emptiness you feel with external things like food, shopping or even destructive behavior like drinking or promiscuity

Nothing you’ve ever achieved matters, you’ve nothing to look forward to and you avoid mirrors or showers because the act of showering means that you have to interact with your body

[Layla_]

Depression is were you randomly get agitated. Depending on how bad it gets you get used to it and don’t even feel sad. Your numb. You don’t cry. You can’t cry. It’s scary because I’m scared if someone dies I won’t be able to cry at all. You don’t feel emotions. But you feel everything at once to the point it numbs you. You don’t find anything entertaining. You feel lonely in bed laying down. You feel like you wanna go back to bed when people. My only joy and my only thing I I thought about was her. Until you left. I don’t have purpose. I know I did. But it dosnt feel like it. I don’t find benefits. We slowly become less hygienic and lose the point in living.

[SheAlmighty]

I can literally see the sadness in his eyes… 🥺
we will all concur this together!! 🙏💕

[kathleenferguson]

"Being depressed" is different than "Having Depression".

[ratvioli]

The thing is, i know I’m depressed, and when I open up to tell somebody, they don’t believe me! Which makes my thoughts that no one cares about and I’m going to eternally die alone ever bigger 😁

[heartz.luvly]

reasons to stay alive 🤍

1. your family

2. your friends

3. the feeling you get when you’ve finished something

4. the feeling you get when you get a compliment

5. the feeling you get when you buy new clothes

6. the feeling you get when you try on new clothes

7. the feeling you get when youre room is tidy

8. the feeling you get when youre laughing hesterically.

9. the feeling you get when you make a new friend

10. the feeling you get when you make someone smile

11. you’d have to watch your family and friends grieve.

12. you’ve never been to that place you always wanted to visit.

13. you’ve never been to disney world.

14. you’ve never been skinny dipping.

15. you’ve never swam in a lake.

16. you’ve never met your idol.

17. you haven’t gotten married.

18. you’ve never decorated your own house.

19. you’ve never saved someone’s life.

20. you haven’t learnt to drive.

21. there is music you haven’t listen too.

22. you have so many more people to meet.

23. everyone who thought you’d do well in life, would have been wrong.

24. the people who said you’d end up no where, would have been right.

25. all the fake people would pretend to like u and post u on their stories.

26. you would have been the best mom or dad.

27. you haven’t lived the ‘my funeral will be packed’ type of life.

28. your friends would suffer.

29. your mum would never be able to walk into your room.

30. you haven’t apologised to people you have hurt.

31. someone loves you.

32. you are not alone.

33. i’m here for you.

34. the clothes you’re buried in might be gross.

35. you haven’t truly loved yourself yet.

36. suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.

37. you haven’t watched your kids open their christmas presents.

38. you haven’t watched your kids grow older.

39. the pain you feel right now, isn’t forever.

40. there are so many foods you haven’t tried.

41. you’ll never get the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

42. finding your person.

43. really soft pillows.

44. eating pizza with your kids and partner.

45. you’ve never danced in the rain.

46. you’ve never kissed someone in the rain.

47. there are so many hobbies you haven’t tried.

48. you’ll never have a sleepover with your best friend again.

49. your friends would blame themselves.

50. your mom's smile.

51. your best friend's laugh.

52. your sister would lose her best friend.

53. your cousins that look up to you.

54. hot chocolate on cold days.

55. ice water on hot days.

56. getting a tan.

57. hearing ‘i love you’.

58. not being able to sleep the night before and exciting day.

59. your birthday.

60. you’ve never been to a nightclub.

61. long hot showers.

62. long steamy baths.

63. freshly shaved legs.

64. perfectly smooth hair.

65. watching people trip over small objects.

66. you could have a huge impact on someone’s life.

67. you would regret dying.

68. you can’t change your mind once you're gone.

69. you wake up everyday for a reason.

70. stars.

71. you will always be enough.

72. movies that make you feel warm when they’re over.

73. reading powerful quotes.

74. genuine smiles.

75. the crunch of autumn leaves.

76. christmas.

77. christmas eve.

78. decorating the tree.

79. long meaningful hugs.

80. sunsets.

81. ice cream.

82. you never got that puppy.

83. you are so brave, it would be a waste to let the fire go.

84. rainbows.

85. travelling to new places.

86. funny stories.

87. funny jokes.

88. inside jokes.

89. coffee.

90. your talents would go to waste.

91. the feeling you get when you’re truly happy.

92. all nighters with friends.

93. cuddling.

94. reconnecting with old friends and family.

95. smiling.

96. capturing perfect moments on camera.

97. swimming on a hot day.

98. feeling cozy in blankets.

99. helping other people with the same thing you got help with.

100! becoming successful.

101. cute babies.

102. cute old people.

103. love stories that make you jealous.

104. telling crazy stories.

105. watching lightning.

106. watching rain.

107. star gazing.

108. recovery.

109. melted chocolate.

110. freshly baked cookies.

111. late night adventures.

112. overcoming fears.

113. sunday mornings.

114. friday mornings.

115. you’ll be dead, forever.

116. you will make a difference to people.

117. picnics with friends.

118. waking up late.

119. waking up late and ending up being on time.

120. to prove them wrong.

121. to prove them you can.

122. to prove you're strong.

123. to love and be loved.

124. the ocean.

125. pets.

126. very loud music.

127. days out.

128. finishing a book.

129. conversations that just flow.

130. learning new things.

131. you are important.

132. you are wanted.

133. mistakes.

134. snow.

135. sun.

136. flowers.

137. flowers that look gorgeous but smell gross.

138. new bed sheets.

139. new home decor.

140. roller coasters.

141. theme parks.

142. smiling at strangers.

143. random acts of kindness.

144. the sound of water.

145. visiting a place from your childhood.

146. to look back on all the things you got yourself through on your own.

147. to feel proud.

148. reassurance.

149. cute nicknames.

150. long stares that make you feel loved.

151. meaningful gifts.

152. blowing out candles.

153. meeting online friends in real life.

154. success.

155. to work the job you always wanted.

156. the live the life you dreamt of.

157. babies smiling.

158. sleep.

159. tea.

160. breaking rules.

161. dreams.

162. the last day of school/work.

163. taking pictures.

164. brownies.

165. bubbles.

166. water slides.

167. holidays.

168. to fall asleep on someone.

169. to feel protected.

170. to grow taller.

171. to grow stronger.

172. to grow old.

173. to make memories you’ll cherish.

174. to laugh at old pictures.

175. to be loved by a pet.

176. the first signs of summer.

177. the first signs of autumn.

178. the first signs of winter.

179. the first signs of spring.

180. to binge watch a series.

181. to live independently.

182. to get somewhere in life all by yourself.

183. to not have broken any promises.

184. to fulfill your promises.

185. to breathe.

186. so you can tell your children stories of when you was there age.

187. so say you’re alive.

188. to know you’re stronger than you think.

189. falling in love.

190. you’ve never snuck out.

191. you’ve never not smashed your phone.

192. you’ve never stayed out all night.

193. you are a kind soul.

194. you have a warm heart.

195. you care for others.

196. the smell of pancakes.

197. when you walk over frosty grass.

198. you haven't truly apologized to all the people you've hurt

199. i love you.

200! to say you made it.

anyone reading this, please know you are not alone and I love every single one of you. things are hard right now i know. you’ll get over it I promise. nothing lasts forever.

[liscabio]

I dont want to feel happiness because the pain afterwards doubles so theres no point in being happy if your gonna lose it all

[hbrotha]

It’s crippling, it stripped me of all my will and left me broken. I fight it everyday, I knew it was real when I didn’t leave the house for a month and just slept in a dark closet all day long. Not to mention neglecting my personal hygiene. Scary thing

[SorenCalypso]

The thing about clinical depression that a lot who've never had it fail to understand. Is often times, it's not like it's something external that's making us feel this way. They are self inflicted wounds internally. Being depressed is like wanting to go lay down in a corner and not talk to anyone not eat or drink anything and do nothing and just rot away. That's what depression is like at times. Where even getting out of bed is extremely difficult. You just wish you could sleep forever and not wake up. And then eventually if this goes on long enough untreated, you fall into the dreadful question "What's the point". Once you reach that point, it's VERY difficult to get out of. And as someone who has failed 4 attempts and is trying to recover. Depression is not to be taken lightly. And it needs to be taken more seriously. Clinical depression is not being sad or feeling a little down. It's you LITERALLY not wanting to do anything and nothing makes you happy anymore or at least you find little to no enjoyment out of anything. And eventually the only thing that brings any joy at all are addictions such as Alcohol, Porn, etc and even those eventually don't become enjoyable if you let depression go untreated long enough.

To anyone struggling, I hope you can find strength and courage to seek as much help as possible and take any step towards recovery. From someone who failed multiple attempts, even I struggle to keep going to this day, but I'm still here. And there's hope. Stay strong everybody please. 🫂

[SofiDittmar-mnby]

This is very accurate… the things that should make you feel happy don’t. Even the things you though you wanted most in life don’t make you feel anything. When you envision the best, most successful version of yourself you still feel empty. Like nothing holds any real meaning or significance

[timoteooo]

You can definitely be excited for the moment. The thing with clinical depression is as soon as that little excitement is over, here comes the anxiety of not feeling safe. Disappearing for months or even years at a time just to be somewhere probably alone n not knowing what to do which is stressful as hell. That leads to other things like intoxication and then waking up in the morning with something “missing” n stressing some more even after you find it after probably having a fit and tearing up shit about it. After all of that, still gotta think about living arrangements and the anxiety of being alone n robbed….. Complicated…….

[gabrielj.negrontroche]

Not to mention you wont feel love anymore. I have diagnosed Clinical depression i am on the suicide notes and not even love is felt. It’s complicated because it is the pain doesn’t stop.