RED FLAG for Trauma Bonding

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST

LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[NarcSurvivor]

They never let you think for yourself or even define who you are. They have to tell you who you are. And by doing that, you are already stuck in a loop where you have to please them.

[sbella]

When I stopped the justifying, rationalizing and excusing and I really started looking at what I was allowing, it was unbelievable. It was like I had woken up from a self hypnotic state.

[lisabradyusa]

Sending healing love to all who have suffered and are suffering ❤

[andie]

Needed this today...5 weeks free and thriving..the loneliness is the worst thing but that was there anyway. Life is peaceful now, im allowed to dance even if it is alone 😂I don't miss him I miss the false persona he falsely promised. Stay strong everyone, survive and thrive ❤❤

[jeffreyjackson]

Eckhart Tolle put it this way: "Only when you have truly had enough suffering in your life are you able to say, I don't need it anymore."

[lloyannehurd]

I’ve run into several people who are stuck in relationships where they thought they had values in common. Only to discover that they were lied to. It’s because the person they married simply imitated to ‘catch’ them and was incapable of forming their own value system! They then lived off the good reputation of the trapped spouse.

[stylingandhealing]

Kept giving chances until I've realized that I wasn't really the problem, once I got out of the relationship I felt safe and better on my own. Been going to therapy to help myself heal, and always listening to Dr. Ramani to learn more about this stuff and honestly this helps a lot.

[guppywibble]

I unwittingly did this when I got tired of the constant abuse from my ex best friend. For the last time she'd publicly humiliated me with barbed comments I went home and thought; "why have a been friends with this person for so long? I feel so drained and upset when I've been in her company? I do all the running around after her? What exactly do I get from this friendship?" And that was my moment that I vowed to never contact her again. My circle of friends became her flying monkeys. I'm happier and have found peace, alone. I honestly dont feel alone, because i have plenty to keep me busy. My lovely family and my lovely furry family, too. I think it must be awful to resent people so much that you only want to tear them down. I believe my other innocent friend is her next victim. I wish I could do something, but I believe I would come off worse from a smear campaign. Hopefully she'll figure it out and not put up with it like I did.

[sushmayen]

My narc spouse abused me for years and also gaslighted me saying that it's good for me and toughens me up. I used to believe him until recently. I left him and taking time to heal

[jadehalliday]

"What if I'm wrong?" ~ yes! 💯✨️

[WarriorOfTheMostHigh]

Thank you Dr for your channel. You helped me get out of a 12 year marriage with a narcissist about 5 years ago. I watched your videos for 2 years out of the 12 and finally build the courage to leave. Still to this day I watch your videos that continue to help me stay away. Blessings be poured upon your life 🙏🏼 ❤

[LovelySoul]

When I healed my own trauma the bonding ended. It was like I woke up. ❤

[terryhutchings]

Have had the horror of having two narcissistic relationships back to back. The first was six years, the second 10 months. It was the shortest one that destroyed me. I have not dated anyone now for 9 months. Still healing, but feeling stronger. It takes time and alot of therapy, but I will never be someone's 'option' again. I'm a good person and deserve to be someone's priority. If they are not consistent in their contact with you, cancel at the last moment and don't make you a priority, RUN! The sex may be great, but that is part of their plan. Do not buy the 'I am so busy' nonsense.

[LarsTimberlake]

Asking the question 'What is it that you like about this person?' is a great excercise. I asked myself 'What is it that I like about my mother?' And the answer was: She is needy. She is like a child that I have to take care of. It is a suffocating relationship. I feel like I'm tied to her and I'm completely dominated by her needs. The relationship is ruining my chance to have a rich independent life. But there is a strong connection there... I always thought that was love.

[DeborahOlander]

This video triggered a memory. I remember having panic attacks at the thought of my dad dying and him being unavailable to give me advice about life. What a painful joke. It was a trauma bond. I've been doing just fine since I went no contact 7 years ago.

[maryadams]

Spot on. I lost my health over it. 33 years worth.

[DC-mpkj]

I've just come out of a narcissistic/sociopathic relationship and this was the number one reason I didn't leave. Thank you so much for the work you do.

[sarahferguson]

"It's beyond words..." It's addiction.

[matteblak]

In 2017, I went to a marriage retreat with my wife. They gave us a little chalkboard that had “I love you because“ written on it, and we were supposed to fill that in every once in a while to remind each other why we love each other. That was over six years ago and I’ve never been able to think of anything to put on the chalkboard. It hangs in our room and makes me wanna throw up

[SnarkyGoblin]

One person I know who is in trauma bonded relationship, once said she liked that her partner is ''very persuasive, thinks rationally and brings fresh perspective to the table''. I remember saying very similar things to my therapists when I was in this position myself. Idealisation of a partner and of some actually difficult experiences, even being manipulated on a daily basis, is often a part of trauma bond. Therapists usually stop when they get this type of an answer because it feels insincere. If this question is a part of a regular conversation it may pass unnoticed, or at least will not be challenged. That's why therapy is crucial in going narc free.