MUST WATCH Before Dating a Japanese (Kokuhaku Confession)

One of the strange cultures of Japan is the "Kokuhaku (confession)," isn't it? When watching anime and movies, there are often scenes of confessions, where a person tells another person that they like them and wants to date them. Many viewers have asked me about how it actually works. As a Japanese person, I had always taken this custom for granted, so I wanted to take this opportunity to analyze it.

So today, I will explain the three reasons why Kokuhaku is important in Japanese culture. The reasons will get more and more important towards the end, so I hope you can check out all three. And as you all know, in my videos I try to explore it from a cultural and historical perspective,
so I am sure that there will be interesting discoveries in this video that other people rarely talk about. Keep in mind, however, that this is the opinion of a 28-year-old Generation Y person,
as cultures vary greatly from generation to generation.

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♪Music♪
おとわび

♪Sound effects♪
効果音ラボ

♪Pictures♪
かわいいフリー素材屋 いらすとや

#kokuhaku #confession #japaneseculture

[LetsaskShogo]

▼My New Channel: Let’s ask Seki Sensei | Kobudo Asayama Ichiden Ryu▼
Are you a Japanese budo martial art lover watching this video? I am now running the best channel for you to learn more about samurai, katana, and budo martial arts from a Kobudo master who is running a 400-year-old Ryuha. Our goal is to achieve 100, 000 subscribers by 2023, so please check it out!

▼Interested in learning Iai/Kenjutsu skills online?▼

▼Please support me through Ko-fi (a donation platform like Patreon)▼
The management (filming, editing, etc.) of the new Asayama Ichiden Ryu's English Channel "Let's ask Seki Sensei" is completely my voluntary work. If I am not able to pay for the expensive bullet train fare from Kyoto to Ibaraki Prefecture (where the main Dojo is located), and hotel/filming expenses, this activity will cease. Please help us spread and preserve this 400-year-old martial art. In return, I will try my best to create the most educational and exciting content about Japanese Kobudo.

▼The BEST online katana shop for martial arts (Iaido, Kendo, etc.): Tozando▼
Everything I use for my katana training is bought at this shop! I still use the first training katana I bought in 2016, and it is still in good shape!

▼The recommended online katana shop for decorations and cosplay: Mini Katana▼
*Get 15% OFF off all their products by purchasing through my affiliate link

▼Where you can meet me in Kyoto, Japan | Yushinkan Samurai Experience with Modern-day Musashi▼
A 90-minute experience in Japan where beginners can learn how to wield, draw, sheath, and swing the katana from the modern-day Musashi! I, Shogo, will be your interpreter to lead you into the wonderful world of samurai martial arts!

▼Let's ask Shogo Merchandise Shop▼
Where you can buy t-shirts, hoodies, mugs, stickers, etc. of cute Ukiyoe animal characters and logos of Let’s ask Shogo:

▼Who is Shogo? What is this channel about?▼

▼MY DREAM▼
“To make every Japan lovers’ dream come true, by making Japan a more secure, comfortable, and safer place for everyone to visit, study, and live in”

▼Join our Membership▼
The ticket to the front row seats to Shogo's rapid adventure to make his dream come true! Through the limited videos and live streams, your ideas and opinions will be adopted for Shogo to make the right decisions for his challenges!

●Membership benefits
-Limited behind-the-scene videos every week
-Limited live streams every two weeks
-Priority reply to comments

▼Sub-channel: “Shogo’s Podcast”▼

▼Instagram▼
*Please ask me questions through the DM here!（⚠I do not use e-mail）

[cocos]

I love that Shogo brought up the Edo period. Shogo not mentioning the Edo period is like Chef John not adding cayenne to a dish. I start doubting the authenticity of the video when it happens XD

[eugeneoisten]

Can confirm 1.
My complete lack of understanding Kokuhaku and its importance to my wife very nearly killed our relationship before it started. While she was waiting for me to confess how serious I was about her, I was walking around like she knew by instinct.

Needless to say, I almost blew it by not realizing she felt I didn't take her feelings into consideration and was just living out some gaijin fantasy.

[BlackFireChasm]

Thank you so much for this video. I had always been confused about why in anime and other Japanese media, characters acted pretty dense or oblivious about the obvious romantic nature of their relationship until one of them confessed their feelings. Now I think I'm starting to understand.

[AmericanScholar]

Even though I'm not of Japanese Descent, Kokuhaku makes a lot of sense to me, and it's normally how I approach initiating a romantic relationship.

[bubbliehope]

I love the Kokuhaku and think it should be in my culture, too. There are so many people I've heard who don't know where they stand with someone and are confused. It causes a lot of worry and stress. It is best for people to have it clear and not waste time thinking "are we /aren't we" or stressing over "well, what do they think about me?" I think it's a great thing to be clear when you are sincere. <3 Thank you for sharing!

[neonnwave]

Clarifying and being direct of one's intentions have been on the rise here in the west. While I'm not too keen on the idea of immediately dating after a confession, I do appreciate it when someone is being direct and open with someone. Too often people assume someone they're seeing wants to be in a relationship, and even assume they're in a relationship, only to find out that was never the case and they were just a casual hook up. Now more and more people are taking their time rather than committing to someone so soon, with more and more people going on dates with a person for at least 3-4 months before officially being in a relationship - as well as dating each other for at least 4-5 years before getting engaged or at least moving in together. People need to get to know each other very well before deciding on something so important.

[jp_ravenfire]

It's sort of like gathering the courage to ask someone out in high school in America. I only did that once and was rejected. Years later, I did again through text message (didn't have the opportunity to in person and the timing just led to that), and that one was a success. Having never dated since that relationship ended, I really don't know anything about modern dating.

[fruitygarlic]

Beautiful story about your confession to Harumi.

Each video is like a gift, not just for the clearly laid out information but also for the warmth you have for each subject. Thank you. :)

[maryhildreth]

Thank you for your videos explaining Japanese culture. You always seem so friendly and happy. Also, I really love how much you love your country and are proud of it and it's history.

[annaconsta]

I wish we did the confession in my country, too. I find it romantic and it makes things much easier for an introverted person like me. This is so nice.

[Churchkey]

It exists in America when a guy or girl is super oblivious or if somebody's being wishy-washy then the other person will confess. They like the other person and want a serious relationship. It's also used to force a decision on somebody who might be in a more casual relationship with a person but want to get serious.

My younger brother did it to his current girlfriend after three dates.

[tlspud]

It used to be here in the US, that young men would ask a girl they liked to "go steady." This was an upgrade from a casual to exclusive relationship if accepted. It was often marked by the exchanging of some meaningful token like a sports participation pin or a letterman's sweater. The girl would then wear the item as proof that the pair were "going steady."

[KingKafei]

How does kokuhaku work between adults? Do you ask them to meet you somewhere and confess verbally? What do you usually say? In some images you see them giving an envelope, what would the letters in them say? Are they declarations that you want them to read instead of saying it verbally?

[ShinSeikiEvan]

I just wish I had known this 20 years ago. I didn't know about kokuhaku and I think I unknowingly hurt someone's feelings. She and her friends didn't seem to believe me when I tried to explain that my country doesn't have such a custom.

[jackiewepps]

I feel so odd over here. I feel like there are certain unwritten rules in western dating, like when you need to kiss, when you need to go further and things like that. It wouldn't surprise me that there is an unclear line you cross when you enter a relationship. There are also unwritten rules on how many times you need to meet the person you date. It seems like everyone see the person they like several times a week. I have heard that in Japan, you don't need to see someone more than once a week if you're dating them, and with the confession, you have a clear line of when the relationship starts.

[lotusnegra]

I was waiting for Edo period, and I wasn't disappointed.

[MayDay]

With White Day coming up, this topic seems to be perfect for the video, Shogo!😁

Overall, everybody has got to be *honest* (especially with their feelings) to certain things even when they’re being asked a question about something like how they think of that person. That honesty will pay off in the long run as there might be a less chance of ruining your relationship with the people you hold dear.☺️

[atg]

It happens in the US too by way of how we introduce one another. Both guys and girls will announce to their friends in front of each other that "this person is my boyfriend/girlfriend" as a way to formalize the relationship to each other

[lastnamefirstname]

thanks shogo. this is very common in many anime and manga, and i didn't even think that this was very common or even completely real.