What Creates Social Anxiety?

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[DElkan]

"...and often times socially anxious people grew up with oblivious communicators."

Oh my god

[Lonerhunter]

Trauma causes you to shut down and if you notice someone who "doesn't know how to talk" just please don't immediately give up.

[dialga]

That last line about how socially anxious people grew up with socially oblivious people really opened my eyes. I never really had social anxiety issues until high school and that was the time where I felt I started having issues communicating, because whenever I was having conversations I felt the things I was saying were either ignored or I would just get talked over.

[ShiloBuff]

Holy shit I didn't realise how much this fits me. People cut me off and ignore me all the time and it just leads to me feeling worthless and not wanting to talk at all.

[xenacakes]

"And oftentimes socially anxious people grew up with oblivious communicators."

That last sentence really hit hard.

[LilFeralGangrel]

This made something click in me. I'm extremely sensitive to everyone, but i kept having to deal with people that would just bulldoze me and make me feel bad.

[cyndit]

My mother does not have conversations. She just talks, not even caring if I am listening because of how much she loves hearing the sound of her voice. She never stops to just let me speak, and even when she does, she isn't actually listening or understanding me.

I tried telling her I was sick a few days ago, but she wouldn't stop talking about the stupid zombie movie she was watching. So I just had to sit there for like 5 minutes before she shut up.

No wonder I struggle with conversations with regular people

[menamgamg]

Damn you just made me realize maybe it's not all my fault lol. Those situations are 100% some of the worst interactions i've had ever and it even though i always blame myself it can still piss me off a bit because im so hyper-aware and i simply can't understand how someone can be so unaware and seemingly inconsiderate that they let me go through excruciating pain xD

[hawleygriffin]

I think we're socially anxious because we're expected to perform perfectly and the slightest mistake is going to be magnified, shamed and ridiculed by those I'm expected to perform for.

[YACHI]

"Socially oblivious"

There's a lot of that online lol.

[sewatweaty]

The biggest change in my ability to handle social situations and to build a wall of defense was when I finally realized that there is nothing wrong with me, When someone thinks bad of me, it does not make it true. They are not above me, they are not better, they don't know more than me. A lot of times they are just rude people with ill intentions and letting them get to me is exactly what they want.

[Neos]

I feel like I'm both. I'm anxious but once I get comfortable with someone I get oblivious.

[melissachartres]

I completely agree. In fact... a lot of times when "problematic children" in schools are difficult to deal with- it's most often the parents that are dysfunctional and the root cause of it all.

[irizjuh]

It makes perfect sense for me. I had parents who often acted on emotions and didn't sense when I needed them. They could be quite passive-aggressive and it would cause the entire family to walk on egg shells. I thought my whole life that it was me, but actually I was constantly trying to sense how to keep the peace. I was the socially sensitive one.

[emmanuelibarra]

Makes so much sense. I find it annoying when people cut me off while im talking because then I have to wait on them and sometimes I lose my train of thought. Then they wonder why I don't speak as much.

[Elayaass]

dude the insights I'm learning with this guy are priceless. in like a week I have noticeably improved my comunication and conversation skills with just a couple tips and hacks like this one

[Pinkponk]

Something i realised recently about my social anxiety, is that what i actually fear is being forced to fit into a role for someone's selfish needs. Surrounding myself with those who fully respect my boundaries, and actively reminding myself I am allowed to have boundaries, has been a great help

[KelsomaticPDX]

I’ve been aware of this for a long time. Socially oblivious people make me feel like the air is being sucked out of the room and every second is 10 seconds long 💀 it’s pure torture

[TaylorWillis-fw]

My sister is socially oblivious. She’ll get kind of upset when I don’t call her for a couple weeks, but she *never* calls me first. When I talk to her, it’s painfully obvious she’s not paying any attention to what I’m saying. It’s kind of like when you’d be talking to your family member that just rambles for hours and you go into autopilot with the “yep, uh huh, oh wow, that’s funny” on repeat the entire time while you’re cleaning the house or whatever. The only difference is that I call for just 10 or so minutes at a time and try and have heartfelt/funny/nostalgic conversations with some kind of meaningful substance. It just gets ignored. I’ll finish what I’m saying and then she doesn’t even realize for a solid minute at a time.

Even in person when I visit, she’s always doing something else or looking at her phone and not acknowledging our conversation. I know she has issues of her own, but there’s seriously no effort put into the sibling relationship at all. It hurts.

[tikaishuman]

Christ finally somebody's affirming Its so true! I get socially anxious around people who are not very considerate of other people and just keep on talking and taking up space