How To Discipline A Child With Oppositional Defiant Disorder

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and how do I know if my child needs help? First off, let's clarify what this means. In this video, I'm going to explain to you what Oppositional Defiant Disorder is and how to manage it. You might be surprised that it's easier than expected. Watch on to learn how to discipline a child with this disorder.

00:17 The diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder
01:02 Consider that it's not a thing that you can just give a pill for
01:31 It's disciplining a child
02:00 Stage 1 - Oppositional
02:25 Stage 2 - Cooperation
02:44 Stage 3 - Responsibility
03:29 Please remain calm
04:23 3 Rules for the Power Struggle
05:29 Stay in control of timing, content, and emotion
05:44 Timing
07:52 Content
09:40 Emotion
10:57 Give them 2 choices

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Dr. Paul Jenkins

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MUSIC
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Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Licensed under Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0

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Video by Nate Woodbury

#LiveOnPurpose
#PositiveParenting

[ambur]

Idk if anyone will end up reading this but as someone who was diagnosed with ODD around 13/14 (I’m 22 now), I often needed someone to tell me when I was doing the right thing. Idk if this is the case with anyone else who suffers from ODD but I never came crazy at people who acknowledged the good things about me alongside the things that needed work. Try being willing to work with them. Also, I really like the “give them time to think” because when I had the time to do that, I always recognized where I went wrong before needing to hear it.

[flawlesssensations]

It feels a relief to know that I'm not the only parent going through this

[Philippians..]

I don’t even interact with my kids until I have first prayed and listened to your Positive Parenting Playlist, I listen in all my free time and it is really helping me internalize the concepts! Thank you so much, Dr. Paul and Vicki💯✅✝️

[jesuslovesyou]

Lately, I've looked at raising my son differently and it has helped me with the burden of being a single stay at home mom (while I'm going through a divorce). I tell myself that my child belongs to Jesus and I am here babysitting him since His Father hired me to raise him right. Thus, I am seeking wisdom through prayers or videos like these to help me raise God's son better. Our child(ren) doesn't belong to us. Once I changed my view of this, I don't feel exhausted, frustrated and burden anymore.

Edited: Remember you are a Queen and you are an asset to your child(ren)and you are doing the best as a mom.

[kaymack]

I need to binge watch your channel. My son has adhd with ODD and boy is it a challenge. When he’s on his medication for adhd, he is the most amazing, loving, kind, helpful, talented person you’ll ever meet, but when he’s not everything is a negotiation, he’s confrontational and an instigator. It’s so exhausting.

[RandomRouletteFun]

ODD is the worst disorder ever invented! Thanks for the tips to help me stay sane.

[queenofthebutterflies]

God, this is GOLD!!!! My child is 5 and I'm actually bruised by his violent outbursts. I'm a complete mess from it. This is REALLY good advice. I'm SO grateful. I love my boy SO much, I don't know how we got so far away from one another. This makes me feel somewhat secure about how to handle the next round!!! What an amazing person.

[valerieramirez]

My son mostly wakes up in a bad mood most days, he’s constantly being negative on life & everything. He rarely wants to go anywhere! He’s constantly argumentative & if you try to ignore the situation he will definitely make his presence known for hours. He constantly messing/destroying his siblings personal things, or things in the home. You can’t have a regular conversation when he’s upset cause no one’s ever right but him, he will take you in circles for hours of why he got something taken away! And yes I do try to give options on receiving something back or recognition for good behavior. He’s about to be 16... HOPING FOR ANY STRATEGIES PLEASE!

[sudeshnabasu]

Thanks for this helpful video 🙏 My son has ODD. He is 5 & a half yrs old. Everyday is a struggle

[mymommysjournal]

Thank you Dr Paul for inspiring me to be a better parent. It's so hard but I realised it is not much to do with the child it's about having the right tools and information as a parent.

[mingle]

Thank you, Dr. Paul. I appreciate your advice and guidance. My son is four and a half, and I do wonder if he has ODD. I find my son struggles with: anger management, attention-seeking behaviour, impulsivity, ODD, and control issues. I don’t know how much of his behaviour is age-appropriate and how much is not. I know my reaction to his behaviour affects his behaviour. I hear your voice telling me, “Calm voice, calm body, calm mind, ” when I am trying to deal with a situation. His behaviour often continues to be toddler-like. His language acquisition is advanced, so it is easy for me to forget that he doesn’t always respond to reason. Thank you for your videos. They do help me make it through the day. I also would by that t-shirt in a heartbeat.

[margitkremer]

Great advise. I have a 17 old who is extremely defiant. It helps to wait.I’m often triggered and lose my temper

[mvassar]

Awesome video... I just don't know how to handle some of the things though... example. This morning my 8yr old would not get dressed for school. It's below freezing here, she threw a fit to wear warm clothes. She picked out her sweatshirt and I said "Okay, good, now lets finish getting dressed, she then decides since that didn't get a rile out of me she said she doesn't like that sweatshirt and threw it into a pile to get rid of! Then I had to argue about putting something else on. Then she wouldn't eat breakfast before school, so I just let her go without it then. But I did end up loosing my temper this morning and I hate it! This is a daily DAILY thing! She argues with me over eating, going to the bathroom, brushing her teeth, doing her homework! Basically anything I ask or tell her to do. I try to stay calm and she keeps pushing until I just snap! :( I will take things away... no playing with the neighbor or no watching tv, etc. I am just lost and so exhausted and also soooo worried about my daughter!!

[Adamsfeatherhead]

What I wouldn’t give to have you sit down with me and my child! I stumbled on your videos last year when all of this started and have tried to apply your techniques but sometimes I struggle with how to do them for every situation. And now it’s morphed into an ODD situation. She is almost 15 and quite honestly sometimes I worry that she will lose her temper and seriously harm me. She has gotten physical in the past and really really struggles to control herself. I find myself afraid of my child sometimes.

[jui]

Gladly you are addressing this topic. With the help of your videos and the 'stage model' I think in 80% of the critical situations we are acting positivily. Sadly there is still plenty of time left through the day, where teachers and after school advisors might act differently. If kids are not fitting into the norm it is always difficult. Thankfully after your help more for others than for us :)
Thanks for the continuing video uploads!

[patriciajacques]

I love how you get excited talking about these confrontations. Almost like you’re looking forward to it, and it makes me think I can handle this. Maybe with a new perspective.

[salafam]

Viewing your video in 2023. Needed some guidance on autism and defiance disorder. Thank you for this video

[wendellst]

I like you. I’m a grandparent, glad to listen to someone who doesn’t talk over heads but makes sense. Can tell you’re sincere! Thank you!

[s.jolsen]

I’m 26 with a 5 year old. I subscribed due to this video. Thank you man. Thank you so much.

[MelissaDietz-bi]

Yes! Always give credit where credit is due. Also, adults should acknowledge when they make a mistake and apologize. They can't disrespect me, but also no "lording" over the child.