Don't Let Loneliness Win: 10 Actionable Steps to Make New Friends and Boost Your Happiness

Feeling alone lately and/or are you struggling to make new friends? The pandemic was a struggle for so many in so many ways - and one of those ways was not having the human connection necessary to make friends and build and maintain relationships in our lives. We may have asked ourselves how do I make new friends in college or how do I make new friends in my 30s or how do I make new friends in my 40s - or where do I make new friends. Friendships can be tough and if you recently moved or work from home or just struggle being vulnerable in social settings - building new friendships can be really difficult. Let's take me for example, I recently moved to a new city and am missing my friends back in Los Angeles. I'm in my 30s and work from home and making new friends has been really hard for me. I don't know where to go or what places to make new friends. I also know that making new friends takes effort and time and it's hard to dedicate time for new friendships. But then I can catch myself feeling alone or lonely - and as a therapist I know I need community and friendships. In this video I'm going to talk you through the 10 ways and places and tips and how to make new friends - whether you're in college or high school or in your 30s or 40s or 50s or whatever age. Know that making new friends and feeling alone is something so many people face and you're not alone - and there are people out there that are also looking to make new friends. What has worked for you in making new friendships? Where do you go to make new friends? How do you make new friends? Would love your tips, too!

Here are some other videos on how to build healthy friendships and make new friends in a new city or as an adult that may be helpful:

The Secret to Making New Friends as an Adult | Marisa G. Franco | TED:

4 Steps to Making a New Friend | How to Life:

More videos on feeling lonely and loneliness from me:

My Books (in stores now)

Journaling

Online Therapy

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[LiveProfound]

Thank you for sharing these tips Kati. These ideas are quite simple and effective.
Making a list here:
1. Volunteer for a cause you care about
2. Join a group or club
3. Take a class
4. Re-engage with old friends
5. Connect with friends of friends
6. Talk to strangers
7. Make friends online
8. Try friendship apps
9. Connect on a neighborhood chat site
10. Pursue the peripheral friend

[rebeccas.]

I made friends with a girl by crashing my car into her ditch while looking for my lost dog 🤣 She came out to check on me and we sparked up a friendship.. three years later she’s still one of my besties! She tells people I crashed into her life!

[Amanda_]

I miss the time when I would be playing alone at a playground, just minding my own business and a random kid would come up to me and ask to be my friend without even asking for my name first

[paginaventisei]

It's always been hard for me to make friends and I thought that since I am now an adult it would get easier. But it's become somehow even harder

[Mickey-osmy]

The older I get, the less interest I have in sharing time with others. Solitude is always wonderful to me.

[colleend]

Making friends as adults is terribly difficult especially when the other person is married with children, so spending time with a friend is not a priority anymore. They have their spouse, children, job, family and personal errands. I wish I had good friends 😔

[Gwenx]

I started a Japanese class last year, i didn't get to connect too much with the people in the class because we went from 12 to 7 and then to 3, but the teacher told us that she had a private class where she taught how to read Japanese Manga and we could attend that instead as this one was ending and she couldn't continue it when there was so few signed up for it (we where like 4 people signed up again) In the private class i met other people with interests in both Japan, culture, anime and manga and i have to say i very much enjoy spending time with them all!
We have meet outside the classes, 3 of us meets up 2 hours before class to sit and chat and do some of the homework together, and we all talked about traveling together with our teacher, as she has been doing guided tours before and knows Japan well, so i am SO SO glad i took a leap of faith and spend money on a "stupid dream" learning a language that "ill never use" haha way to prove me and other people wrong eh? <3

[brej]

I have also learned to be more present when you do hang out with someone. For example I used to put so much pressure on myself that hopefully, when I am meeting / hanging out with someone, that it turns into a super deep, long lasting, consistent friendship. However, I have realized that I need to be more present and enjoy that they are here hanging out with me right now/ in this moment . If it turns into a real true friend great, if it doesn't.. it was nice to have them in that moment of time!

[SafeHavenML]

I've been to University for three years, had two years away and now in my fourth year, and throughout that time I still have not made any actual friends. Acquaintances and healthy interactions sure but not real friends I see and talk to regularly. I've always had pretty bad social anxiety and being too socially inept to make conversations doesn't help either. It feels like everyone else is making friends, even in my class, and I'm just pushed to the side. I still have a group chat with a couple of friends from school but otherwise I feel very lonely. Making friends is TOO hard in this heavily corporate, judgemental and unfriendly world. Regardless thank you for the video something like this is very helpful.

[Oliver_Bryan]

As an adult I have never trusted anyone enough to be friends with them. I am just polite and friendly to everyone and try to make them happy.

[positrondesign]

Being from the NYC area, talking to strangers isn't really an option. But I moved to the MidWest and people are so much nicer!
Like yesterday I bought croissants at the market. The cashier commented about how her Mom loves croissants. The cashiers always comment on the food I buy if it is something they have never tried. That would never happen in New York. I suggested to top the croissants with melted Muenster cheese that I also had in my cart. She said she would have never thought of that, thanked me, and was very excited to try it.
A nice convo with a stranger.

[elliottparsons]

I've struggled to make friends since I was a kid and this has translated into my 30s. I've never had a lasting friendship despite doing all the heavy lifting mentioned here. I'm in the helping profession, and I laugh that part of my job is helping people connect with each other when I suck at doing that for myself. Being different flipping sucks.

[amybrown]

This has literally been on my mind sooo much lately. Because I have literally ZERO friends. I have family but that is different. A person NEEDS friends or at least one friend that they can go to for anything. And I just don’t have that. So thank you so so much for this video!!

[kenrickbautista]

I barely have ANY friends outside of work and gym. Besides, I personally enjoy being around my colleagues; who, at times, make me feel a little special inside.

Lastly, as someone who's an ambivert, I'm better off not making any friends because... I've had fake friends my entire life. And there were some who just weren't worth my time anymore. Just speaking from personal experience.

[IssaRaeOfS]

I thought I had true friends. But I learned recently I was just delusional 🙃 focusing on myself now and not worrying about friendships anymore

[JoeDFWAviation]

One day in 2014 I got a Facebook message from someone who went to the same university I did at the time and he found me through an aviation group. We chatted, and we’ve met up a few times on campus and we’ve gone to the airport to go plane spotting. We’ve also flown together on day trips. I’m actually flying this weekend to go to his wedding so that’s cool.

[miccrhaafetl]

Just moved to a small town for a job. This was needed.

[dylanmaxey]

Lack of proximity is the major hurdle for people on Disability hence the further failure to recover for those without the money $$ and or means to even mix with people.

[esterbengoa]

I don't want to make friends. My past experiences have shown me I'm not good at making good decisions, so I'm better on my own.

[brej]

Even in college making friends is so hard!