Jordan Peterson - Let Your Loved Ones Stand on Their Own

Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson talks about the devouring force of love discovered by Sigmund Freud.

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[ozymandias]

Jordan Peterson should release a series on growing up. I needed this guidance so much on my teenage and early 20's. He has incredible lectures on becoming an adult.

[johnvoet]

No one explains this one to you when your growing up, especially if you re the oldest child in a family. One day you're dealing with tyrannical parents who have impossibly high standards of you, then they realize they can do nothing to make you stay, then they find anyway they can to minimize your accomplishments and point out the flaws you have without their guidance, all in a vain attempt to demoralize you enough so you come limping home.

[ChaoticNeutral]

"I couldn't live without you" is always a phrase that bothers me. I much prefer saying "I could live without you, but I would rather not have to."

[becauseiamworthless]

May I just praise bite-size for once and admire the consistency of these videos.

[LexaLite]

I realized this in my early teens when I went off to university and had a reckoning with all the damage from my childhood that one tends to ignore or be blind to while still living at home. It helps you grow up and have authentic healthy relationships with individuals that are not co-dependent. I think a good test for this is can you voice a dissenting opinion with your parents and have them actually engage with you like a separate entity from themselves without a desire to control or change you, if yes, then you're good.

[MrBeaux]

Expecting your child to live their life to satisfy your desire to see them "succeed" (which is such an arbitrary concept to begin with, and probably doesn't even mean the same thing to them that it does to you) can ultimately end up ruining their life, and so often does. It's really sad.

[SikeNawGaming]

I take it being a Monster= Being stoic, strong mentally/emotionally, rational and able to adapt to changes.

[chrokeii]

This guy blows me away with his intelligence sometimes. I'm so glad he became so popular recently so that we could all start learning from him.

[echosquest]

I've figured this out on my own a long time ago. And people that i've said this too think i'm crazy.

[markanderson]

I love how he takes animated fantasy and extracts deep psycho-analytical meaning.

[theronerdithas]

Over the last 2 months ive been in a state of combat with nihilism, searching for the meaning of life, watching many Jordan Peterson videos, and watching the entire first season of Attack on Titan in 2 days I feel like im having a cognitive breakdown or at the very least a second early life crisis.

[lisamarie]

“Turns out being a monster is the right thing...”

[TheGreatslyfer]

"I couldn't live WITHOUT YOU"

Yea, if you think about it, it puts an unnecessary and uncalled for pressure on the other person to act a certain manner to make sure you're ok.
Like if you're a kid and you depend on your parents then yeah, people can give you a pass, but if you're grown up and you still put that dependency force on your parents or friends, then that's actually selfish and not considerate of the other person's needs and wants and energy.

[raisethecurve]

I went through five years of counseling to have the professional beat around the bush and poke at this dynamic. You just enlightened me more, and in turn showed greater respect for the well-being of a complete stranger, in 3 minutes. Thank you

[slappy]

My mother and father both tried to cripple me to keep with them, and it was hell, especially considering they were divorced and hated one another's guts, and were insanely jealous of my attention. I hate to say it, but it's a relief that they're both dead now.

[timtrocke]

This one really spoke to me, and I’ve heard dozens.

[danner]

My mother. She's too much. It took every thing in me to force myself out of her grasp to study abroad.

[aramirez]

as someone who has lost their mother, this makes perfect sense and brings back memories. I'm glad I figured it out in time. seeing how me and my siblings handled the situation, I think this is perfect.

[TinhNguyen-bhnq]

I lived with my family for more than 20 years, and followed their wishes. However, they still felt that I was not doing well and wanted me to be more proactive in family matters otherwise I would be constantly cursed and beaten. One time I was so sad that I left home for half a year. Then they looked for me again and gave me reasons to make me feel like returning home would be better, and when I returned everything was still the same, cursing because I didn't actively participate in asking about things in the house. family. I really feel sad and tired, guys. Once again I just decided to cut contact and leave the house forever. In my heart, I always felt insecure that my family would go crazy and look for me, but at the same time, my heart always told me that I had to leave that house. The details of my story are very long, I can only tell it. Briefly. I am very sad and sorry for myself and have no one to confide in or understand. By the way, I'm about to turn my 22nd birthday next Sunday.

[dididylan-pena]

Esto es tan importante. Recuerdo tener 5 años y decirle a mi mamá que "yo la amaba tanto, que si ella moría, yo me moriría también"... y ella me miraba preocupada, dejaba lo que estaba haciendo para hablarme sobre la muerte, y me hacía entender que uno no tiene voz ni voto en el tema, y que nadie es apéndice de nadie que muere. Me dolían esas conversaciones... pero sabía que ella me estaba explicando las instrucciones de un "juego" del cual no habíamos sido arquitectas, además ella me enseñó que trascendíamos, me enseñó la fe.
Ahora entiendo que no es un buen amor el que brindas a tu familia o seres queridos, si los tienes que tener "fosilizados", como utilería para el marco perfecto de tu vida personal y equilibrio emocional, y no concibes que ellos lleguen a morir. O cuando la muerte acontece, no llevas un luto decente, si no uno desgarrador y llamativo, casi caprichoso. Lo interesante es que esto pasa mucho en Latinoamérica, en familias y personas que son creyentes, por lo general creyentes católicos súper ritualistas, y pensarías que tanto rito les ayuda a diseñar con mayor facilidad una salida: del hueco, hacia la sanación, hacia la atmósfera, hacia el tiempo, que siguieron latiendo y transcurriendo como si nada, allí, por encima de vos, y no se detuvieron. Todos morimos... y claro que es insustituible ese calorcito pero me prepararon racionalmente para entenderlo, y actualmente que de adulta he escogido creer en Jesucristo, pues además estoy esperanzada, entiendo que no hay nada en el ataúd, y mucho en el siguiente plano.