Where Negative Self-Talk Comes From...

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Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #mentalhealth #selftalk

[echo]

It takes energy to withstand hate from the outside.

Having to remind yourself that you AREN'T a failure, or that you SHOULDN'T be treated horribly even if you are, takes energy. Eventually, one runs out of energy reserves and gives into the nastiness that comes from the outside. It's the path of least resistance.

Antagonize somebody enough and they become the villain.

[wasItGmac]

The SLANG comment really got me.

Someone saying “stop the negative self talk” is sorta like them asking “stop speaking with your native accent.” Like, I’m not sure I even noticed I was speaking in an accent and it’s gonna take WORK to change it

[shadowsfive]

Sometimes the unrealistic comparisons aren't to siblings but to the adult themselves or some ideal they've dreamed up of you. Being kind to yourself and changing the narrative is hard, but possible.

[Moose]

As a parent, this has terrified me from the time my kids were born. I try to be so careful with what I say, because I don't want to foster the belief that they're lesser or incomplete in some way. It's a source of constant fear for me.

[HGCarlos]

Now, our school system also deserves some credit for this

[garlicbread]

I'm dealing with this so hard. I keep telling myself that I'm enough, good enough, i can do certain things. But deep, very deep in my mind. I cannot accept it

[WhoAmI-kx]

I was bullied badly at school and was not very good at studies....hence i was treated not so well by teachers and constantly compared against peers by parents....now i am extremely pessimistic about everything and constantly keep putting myself

[ISTPRobin]

I was siting in front of a wall for 3 hours today, it really helped a lot. At the beginning it was to increase my productivitiy but I went deeper. I remembert events my childhood and felt the mental pain I felt in the moment as a child

[sheolcodemonkey]

My dad, who seemed to delight in making me feel stupid.

My classmates, who seemed to delight in calling me retarded.

Me, who seemed to delight in pretending it didn't hurt.

[everyoneroasted]

This is exactly why i started to pay more attention to how i talk to myself, it really does make a huge difference mentally and physiologically, I started telling myself I am good enough, i will get things done, I am full of energy, I will finish this workout, all of these things started changing only after weeks, don't depend on anyone to tell you who you are, you are what you choose to think of yourself

[FunKayyy]

Had a friend who's parents would compare him with wealthy public figures and celebrities, it did not end well for him and alot of us attending his funeral were really upset with his folks because we actually knew what was going on.

[MetalDeathMusic]

I've been working really hard on trying to erase these feelings. They came from everywhere in my life. From school, home, work, boy scouts, relationships. I've had to cut off and get rid of a lot of people. Like Echo says, I withstood hate alongside actual abuse for decades, and finally my small defenses just crumbled and I "think" i'm just a POS. Therefore, I kind of became what everyone said I was all along. It's hard when there is no light inside or outside you.

[flambelk]

This is so real, sometimes parents damage kids forever by trying to make them to push them in being better.

[ThatOneScienceGuy]

My parents never acted like that but I still have the negative self talk.

[timijosephariyo]

the gap between the idealistic self and reality decreasing shame really hit home for me

[Dchchcsnsj]

I think it's also important to note that seeing how your parents talk to THEMSELVES also affects your self-talk. If they're constantly blaming things on themselves and being negative, you as a child also learn that negative events are something you should blame on yourself. Martin Seligman (a big name in clinical psych for those interested) wrote some very interesting research papers on this topic.

[marquisdehoto]

My dad talks negative about almost everything.
I asked him if he could please stop doing it, bc it makes me and other people not feel good.
And he only said that it's his decision and if he wants he can.

Fortunately I moved out now and my negative self talk got way less.

[mrs.quills]

Funny this came up as I’m in a workshop class for selling online and doing art stuff, we have homework and it’s at our own pace. Last week it was about identifying our inner voices and where that came from, today I’ve been identifying the outside voices and how I can handle them. I’ve recognized people really don’t like when others succeed or work hard at their dreams. It’s really sad and while I still feel bitterness about those comments I’ve faced since I was young and recently got similar ones from friends I’m disowning, the writing helps me empathize and let go.

[tommieirl]

My family is mega super supportive but I still hated myself for the longest time. I do have diagnosed ADHD/social anxiety but it has always surprised me how I've sabotaged myself in life.

[Dline]

Loving the updates to the shorts guys! Great to have some extra animation and a link to the original video, thank you for all you do, it's changed my life for the better!