An Exercise to Decrease Negative Self-Talk

When a client suffers from impostor syndrome, there is often a gap between how others perceive them . . .and how they perceive themselves.

This gap is what fuels that feeling that they’re a fraud – and the larger it gets, the stronger a client’s self-doubt grows.

So in this video, Michael Yapko, PhD shares an intervention that can help close that gap and stop them short when they’re dismissing a friend or colleague’s praise.

When clients can take in positive feedback from others, it can diminish the power of “impostor syndrome.”

[denisegranberg]

This is hilarious and so incredibly effective! Thank you. I finally understand.

[tommymerelte]

"Mom how do you feel about my math score?"
"I'm disappointed in you"
"I can't permit you to feel that way"

[nadjavale]

Yu presented me with a key point to understand why I am here in the world! This is not a smal feat. Thank you!!!!

[tradslnd]

Wow I love your videos and haven’t even watched all of them. 4 minutes of pure therapeutic truth

[DeepMindfulness]

This seems like an interesting thought experiment but a really weird exercise in reality.
I can imagine having them say it in their mind but, it seems like a recipe for a really crummy interpersonal interaction. Especially for someone who has a lot of negative self talk.

I agree with the other comment that in a FS the negative south talk would be seen as a protector and validated four protecting the vulnerability. This seems like a formula to help someone thoroughly judge and feel very negative about the negative self talk part. It’s like creating social pressure to creat external AND internal judgment of the protective, judging part. That kind of disavowal comes at a high price!

If anyone is reading this, I totally get that self judging part of you. It sounds like it has a really smart strategy to keep you safe! Of course, it’s causing some real harm, but, I still appreciate how hard it’s worked for so long!! And, I want that part of you to know that there is a possibility it can be free of all that work, and you’ll still be safe! Really possible!

[annettemckelvey]

I appreciate you Dr. Yapko. I wonder if you would ever consider doing some actual hypnosis videos on general topics here on YouTube. Twenty minute ones on general topics. I admire your work greatly.

[SugarBunny]

Thanks so much for this tip. This has been my exact situation for the past whole year! Then my next question is, what should I say when someone praises me? If I say thank you it feels as if I’m agreeing with it. But I don’t so can I make peace with that while maintaining politeness to others?

[CatLadyKorea]

How should we take other people's negative remarks on us?

[annika]

Does this also apply to when people criticise you. Eg “my parents think x about me.” Does that mean I can tell myself to accept what they think and not let other people’s opinions define me. If yes, why do I still get triggered by my parent’s thoughts and opinions about me?

[ISBE]

I can accept them saying X or Y but without a valid conclusion or most of the time without any conclusion at all its nothing more just empty statement which means nothing to me

[lorenacalderon]

alguien que me pueda mandar el video en español por favor😢

[TheShawnster]

So, almost a year later, I arrive and have an immediate thought that I expected would have already been covered in the comments. What about people who have dealt with several, or even just one, people who have said many positive things about them, then years later invalidates everything previously said? I know my answer, but I want to see what others think without clouding the responses with my perspective.

[citytrees]

I find most of your other stuff helpful, but this isn't. It's not that I don't agree when someone says I've done something wonderful, it's that I believe they are just being kind. People say nice things to be kind, not because they are expressing their true feelings about me. And on flip side, if someone says I'm crap, am I supposed to accept that too? This exercise doesn't work.

[azazaz]

What if someone thinks you are insane ?